Coworker to Boss: I wanna buy a short bus… and put seats in it, and a loft!

The office, Eagan
Overheard by Concerned Rider.

Kid (as fireworks started, ON JULY 4TH):  Wow, kind of reminds me of July 4th.  Like deja vu.  Weird.

Eagan fireworks
Overheard by What day is it again?

Loud cube neighbor: So, she does her drugs and washes her hands. Takes one pill and washes her hands. Takes a pill and washes her hands. Takes another pill and washes her hands..

Corporate cubeland, Eagan
Overheard by thisisnow.

Lady #1: Well, isn’t Mary a vegetarian? I don’t know what she’ll eat at the Potluck.
Lady #2: She is??  Then how come she’s so fat?  Don’t vegetarians just eat lettuce?
Lady #1: (very all knowing and certain) Yeah, that’s all they can eat. I don’t know how she gained so much weight on just lettuce.
Lady #2: (Laughs heartily) Well, I’ll just ask her when we go back. Wow, I don’t think I could be a vegetarian and eat lettuce forever.

Fitness Locker room of Corporate office in Eagan
Overheard by S.S.

18 year old senior boy: What’s the abbreviation for don’t?

Eagan High School Gym
Overheard by You’re graduating?

Office woman: He, ummm, he walks like a pregnant man.

Corporate hallway, Eagan
Overheard by Ciao.

Boy: Oh my god, boobs are awesome.
Girl: Hey! Watch your mouth.
Boy: What?? Boobs is NOT a bad word, I mean they say it on Nickelodeon ALL the time.

Super America - Eagan
Overheard by I say boob, you say breast.

Middle-aged guy to friends: Oh that’s right, he took his son to the strip club… then the cops came.

Eagan cubeland
Overheard by not your mom.

High school teacher to student: Hey, John. You going to caucus tonight to be part of the democratic process?
John: No. I’m a Republican.

Eagan High School
Overheard by one child left behind.

Mom of two pantless three year olds: I know bad poopies hurt the bottom.
One of the pantless three year olds: [sniffles and whines, holding his butt]
Mom of two pantless three year olds: I know bad poopies hurt the bottom.

Women’s Bathroom Eagan Life Time Fitness
Overheard by Lunch Lifetimer.

Woman who probably likes hotdish #1: I won’t take your Mickey Mouse one.
Woman who probably likes hotdish #2: Just don’t try to take my automatic one!

Corporate cubeland, Eagan
Overheard by Get back to work.

Wannabe Black,yet Very Very White Girl to Assembled Coworkers on Smoke Break: Did ya’ll know that the stuff Natives smoke in their pipes is like, really illegal and in order to get it they have to apply with the government and prove that they are real Natives?
Assembled Co-Workers: Ooohhhh…
Wannabe Black,yet Very Very White Girl: Yaap, it is REALLY addictive so they gotta watch who has it.

Bill Collector’s Paradise-Eagan
Overheard by Amused/Offended actual native who knows that it is sweetgrass and tobacco (completely legal).

Frazzled woman to automatic checkout machine: Yes, I hear you!

Rainbow Food, Eagan
Overheard by your mom.

Older Office Guy: It’s nice out this morning. If I was fishing, I’d just be getting off the lake right now.
Younger Office Guy: Fuck, if I was fishing, I’d still be in bed.

Smoking Area (Eagan)

Harried mother throws a bag of Doritos into her shopping cart.
Irate little boy: NOOOOO! Not those! I want the other burritos, mommy!
Exasperated mom: [sighs] Honey, burritos and Doritos are two completely different things.

Target in Eagan
Overheard by I like Cool Ranch burritos.

Co-worker #2 reciprocating to Co-worker #1: Well, I had a dream last night that I stabbed you.

Thomson Corporate Skyway, Eagan
Overheard by Concerned Co-worker #3.

Older office gal over the cube wall: I have what’s called a floppy colon.

Eagan
Overheard by mkd.

During the five seconds of complete silence before the movie Dreamgirls begins:
Some Guy 8 rows in front of me: Can you believe how many black people are in this movie?

Regal Cinema in Eagan
Overheard by two dolla.

Male co-worker arriving an hour late to work: It all comes down to underpants.

Eagan
Overheard by mkd.

Guy #1: You hid my jacket? Why would you do that?
Guy #2: I don’t know. I was just trying to get your goat.
Guy #1: I’m gonna teach my goat how to bite people. And tell him that you’re an asshole.

Eagan
Overheard by a co-worker.