Sloshed loud dude talking to randoms: I’m a Jewish Beatles freak!

Greenmill Uptown
Overheard by who cares.

Man yelling into cell phone: Whatever, whatever, whatever… whatever… whatever. You believe what you want to believe. Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever. Whatever… whatever… whatever… WHATEVER.

Guy smoking outside Tony Jaro’s to another: You don’t need a thirty aught six rifle to do that. You could do that with a .45.

Tony Jaros’ River Garden, Nordeast Minneapolis
Overheard by greenie queenie.

Man eating with his family: …so when she took her home pregnancy test, she accidentally peed all over the counter. When he confronted her, she lied about it, and also told him she wasn’t pregnant.  But then my sister told him that she was actually pregnant.

Denny’s in Burnsville
Overheard by just trying to enjoy my meat scrambler.

Shaggy-haired drunk guy: …So i asked him, “Do you wanna be a rocker, or do you wanna go to college!?

Burrito Loco - Dinkytown
Overheard by …both?

Self-Important Waiting Man: This is independent rap music. That means it’s rap music, but it’s also independent.

Al’s Breakfast
Overheard by mike_s, trying to enjoy his eggs (and hip-hop) in peace.

Girl #1: Even though he has no chance of winning, I think that Mark will still vote for Ron Paul.
Girl #2: What? The porn star?

Picosa Patio
Overheard by um, just because they both have first names as last names…

MetroMan talking loudly and angrily on cell phone: I am a VIRGO, and she’s a Scorpio. If she thinks she can STING THIS VIRGO she’s got another thing coming!

LynLake restaurant Patio
Overheard by Poison.

Ghetto girl from backseat of a friends car at McDonald’s drive-thru yelling at the worker: All I wanted was normal ass cheese on my McChicken! Where is my normal ass piece of cheese?

Burnsville
Overheard by It was funny till he screwed up my order too.

Tall, thin, young executive:  So, what are you getting her?
Short, thin, young executive:  I was talking to some of my friends about beer.
Tall, thin, young executive: Dude, I wouldn’t get her beer.
Short, thin, young executive: I got her Blue Moon.
Tall, thin, young executive: Well, that’s that’s one of your better choices.

Brueggers
Overheard by Listen to the Tall Guy.

Priest (upon seeing the long line in front of Grand Ole Creamery): Holy Christ!

Grand Ole Creamery
Overheard by a recovering Catholic.

Too-loud teenager: Someday, I would just like to be kidnapped.

Perkins in Plymouth
Overheard by dream big.

Manager (to employee following behind him): This is not a dainty world.

D’Amico & Sons, Saint Paul

Lewd middle-aged man: So the other day my friend asked me to borrow some porn tapes. He said he needed to teach his son about the birds and the bees.

Neighborhood Café, Saint Paul
Overheard by TheWhirled.

Blonde woman to boyfriend: Remember that one time you told me you thought you had kidney stones? (laughter)

Annie’s restaurant in Dinkytown
Overheard by almost shot milkshake out my nose.

30-something white girl to same-type friend: The last time I went roller skating someone stole my pager.

St Anthony Applebee’s
Overheard by Another good reason not to rollerskate, or, why did you have a pager?

Blonde woman: So he said he had cancer, and I asked what kind of cancer he had. He said, “A really bad one.” I thought for a second and said, “Is that a type?”
(Blank stares from her tablemates)

Sushi shop in Plymouth
Overheard by Yeah, and Big is a size at McDonalds.

20s-something woman: Oooh, it’s totally going to rain on us! Look at those clouds.
20s-something guy: No, those clouds are moving east; away from us. We’ll be fine.
20s-something woman: What? Clouds can’t all go in the same direction! They’re floaty. They float around. Some could come here.  How would they know to all go one way together?
20s-something guy:  Wind. It’s called wind. Are you joking?
[blank stares]

Lord Fletcher’s on Lake Minnetonka
Overheard by but how does the wind know which way to go?

Guy in thigh-high jean shorts and dreadlocks: Man, and I thought I did a lot of acid.
Guy #2: Yeah dude, I know.

James Gang Cafe, Northfield
Overheard by St. Olaf Grad.

Girl: Wasn’t there a movie? About a horse? Named Sisco?
Guy: The one who sang the “Thong Song”?

Old Chicago, Har Mar Mall
Overheard by Shakin’ that thang like…neigh!