Teenage girl coming out of world history: Marie Antoinette was so cool! I love her quote “then I will eat cake.”

Eden Prairie High School
Overheard by oh how wrong she is.

Woman in 20s: That’s why I don’t believe in religion! Because God shits on us all the time.

The office in Eden Prairie
Overheard by ldg.

Older woman (to cashier at Kohl’s): I got the runs.
Cashier looks confused.
Older woman: I got the runs, you know, diarrhea!

Kohl’s Eden Prairie
Overheard by TMI.

One teenage girl is telling her friends about her grandfather’s motorcycle trip to Alaska
Friend: How did he get there? Is there a bridge to Alaska?
Teenage Girl: Yeah, its called Canada.

Eden Prairie High School English classroom
Overheard by our tax dollars hard at work.

Woman talking to herself: I think I’m okay, actually.

Costco in Eden Prairie
Overheard by sure you are.

Young professional: There’s a lot of things I would do if there was no risk involved!

Eden Prairie Office
Overheard by …like what?

Male Coworker #1 (reading the StarTrib): Ha! Look! Sven Sundgaard is going to tell us what he thinks makes a romantic date.
Male Coworker #2: What, is it showing people where he hides his pot of gold?

Eden Prairie Office Building

Sleazy Officeworker: Dude, I went to Barnes and Noble last night.
Sleazy Officeworker’s Friend: What’s that?
Sleazy Officeworker: What’s what?
Sleazy Officeworker’s Friend: Barns or whatever?
Sleazy Officeworker: It’s a bookstore. Tight as hell…
Sleazy Officeworker’s Friend: YOU? Why?!
Sleazy Officeworker: You know, like, to expand my mind ‘n’ shit.
Sleazy Officeworker’s Friend: Oh, to learn shit?
Sleazy Officeworker: Yeah, man. I walked through the whole store, man… (awkward pause) …never found anything I liked.
Sleazy Officeworker’s Friend: You’re a real champion.
Sleazy Officeworker: Yeah.

Grimy Call Center, Eden Prairie
Overheard by Me.

Some Idiot: …I don’t know, dude. It probably runs in his genes.
Some Idiot’s Buddy: (shocked) Dude! What?
Some Idiot: What? It runs in his genes!
Some Idiot’s Buddy: What’s THAT supposed to mean?
Some Idiot: It. Runs. In. His. Genes. You know, like, his genes?
Some Idiot’s Buddy: (relieved) OOHH, you mean like, it’s… hereditary or some shit.

Drab, Nameless Call Center, Eden Prairie
Overheard by Me.

20-something woman: We did it a whole bunch of times, and sometimes he couldn’t get it up, either. And he tried all different directions.

Eden Prairie Office
Overheard by Snickering in my cubicle.

Deranged Kid: Hey, I want to kill someone, too!

Eden Prairie Road
Overheard by I hope that was out of context.

Office girl #1: Did you hear about the cow that walked off a cliff into Lake Superior up on the north shore?
Office girl #2: No! Did it survive?
Office girl #1: Nope.
Office girl #2: That’s sad. Oh well, hamburgers for dinner!
Office girl #1: More like… sloppy joes.

Eden Prairie
Overheard by Sophie Z.

Female Customer Service Rep # 1 to Female manager: Yeah, oysters are an aphrodisiac, you can ask Chris, he knows everything.
Female manager to Male Customer Service Rep: Are they?
Male Customer Service Rep: Yeah, I’ve heard that, depends who you ask I guess.
Female manager to Female Customer Service rep: He He… I think he’s trying to get you.
Male Customer Service Rep: I didn’t give anyone any oysters.

Call Center in Eden Prairie
Overheard by How about crabs?

Guy in shirt and tie: What are you doing here?
Messy-haired data tech: I know I’m late man, sorry.
Guy in shirt and tie: It’s three PM.
Messy-haired data tech: Yeah I lost all track of time cuz I haven’t slept in days then last night I took some Ambien my friend gave me and I slept like a fucking baby but then I opened my eyes and realized I was supposed to be at work like five hours ago and I could barely move so I had to take a handful of minithins just to get up. Shit, the Water cooler is empty!
Guy in shirt and tie: Didn’t you get fired a few days ago?
Messy-haired data tech: What? Hey, I’ll talk to you later, I really gotta take a dump.

Office park in Eden Prairie
Overheard by cubicle drone.

Hipster teen #1: This is from the movie ‘Mallrats’. Did you see the part where they went to the mall?
Hipster teen #2: Umm… I think so.


Overheard by Brodie Bruce.