18-year old girl, loudly on phone: Fuck this! I’m done screwing random strangers!

MSU
Overheard by laurel.

Obnoxious senior who should really go to the alternative school: I HAVE A BABY THIS WEEKEND!
Freshman boy: Is she Jewish?

Roseville Area High School
Overheard by Oh, that would make her so much easier to care for…

Irate idiot on cell phone: The nurse doesn’t even know what he has! I pissed off his doctor. I said, “YOU should have called Dr. House!” You know that show, House? HE can figure out ANYTHING!

Behind Northrop, U of M
Overheard by I’m sure Hugh Laurie would be happy to lend a hand.

Seedy Loud Crackhead to sharply dressed college guy with curly blond hair: You look just like Shirley Temple!
Disturbed looking college guy with curly blond hair: (Turns)
Seedy Loud Crackhead: Oh… you have a beard. [to no one] I don’t smoke dope! I’m not on any medications! I’m a stripper! Hey I’m not disturbing the patrons! Jesus! Jesus! Gotta visit! Wife! Hospital at 5! I’m from NY! Gotta go to Milwaukee! (walks up to blond curly college guy) I love you Shirley girl! Love you!
Disturbed looking college guy with curly blond hair: Um, I’m a guy, thanks.
Seedy Loud Crackhead: Well, I love you, too! (pats boys shoulder)

Pizza restaurant on campus
Overheard by oh sweet jesus, why does this always happen to me.

Girl #1: So I talked to her yesterday and she said she finally got her nipples waxed! And I was like, “Whoa! I got mine done yesterday, too!”
Girl #2: …Ohh.

SAHS
Overheard by i dont think that should be talked about in school hallways…

Freshman Girl: You should have come to the party; it was crazy.
Freshman Boy: Didn’t (mumbled name) get really drunk?
Freshman Girl: No, she wasn’t drunk — she didn’t even pass out.

Classroom, WHS
Overheard by Concerned for the future.

Old White Cashier Woman (Singing): Bombs over Baghdad, Bombs over Baghdad.

Einstein Bros inside Coffman Union

Freshman #1, smoking a cigarette: And do you remember what she wore for Halloween? Like, a TINY skirt and a shirt she rolled up. It wasn’t even a costume, it was just making her clothes as whorey as possible!
Freshman #2: Yeah, I know. Like, it’s ok if your costume is skanky, as long as you pay for it, but her’s was just clothes!

Outside Comstock
Overheard by ARH.

Female Student: I have dyslexia and I’m 24.
Male Student: Strange, you don’t look 42.

Century College/White Bear Lake, MN

Professor: Visually, the median splits the area of the graph in two.
Probably a freshman: Into what?

Carlson School of Management, sadly
Overheard by Dik.

(Hopefully?) inebriated guy to his friends: If anyone is gonna be having sex with my sister it’s gonna be me.

Just outside of University Commons
Overheard by Out too Late.

Defensive Guy: I hate spinach! That’s why I’d give it to the mountain goats!

HWJH
Overheard by in his creative writing class.

Ditzy girlfriend: I think the only people who should have bellybutton rings are skinny people… does that make me racist?

U dorms
Overheard by Ditzy girlfriend’s boyfriend’s roommate.

Dude: AHHHH!!! My ear! Your earbud short-circuited in my EAR!
Chick: The right one? Note to self: don’t use right earbud.

HHS
Overheard by passerby.

Big black guy [to little black guy]: You ain’t graduating, I’m goin’ a kill yo’ ass.

Bursville High School
Overheard by Sounds like graduating is the least of your problems.

Ditsy Blonde Girl (to teacher): There’s no back to this sheet of paper!
Teacher: Turn it around.
Ditsy Blonde Girl: Ohhhh…

PLHS
Overheard by wow… O_O.

Healthy Dude: Is all your food frozen?
Cafeteria Lady: Well… it’s nice and warm now!

Hopkins Wes Junior High Cafeteria
Overheard by i like hot food, too.

10 year old girl swimmer #1: So, my mom told me to use my turbo for this race.
10 year old girl swimmer #2: Turbo?
10 year old girl swimmer #1: You know… fart.

U of Minnesota Natatorium
Overheard by coach says use the turbo.

15 year old girl in sewing class: I wasn’t born to sew. I was born to be a gangster!

Arlington High School
Overheard by Teacher.

High School Freshman Girl #1: So, there’s this pill that you can take and you won’t get pregnant.
High School Freshman Girl #2: Really? So you don’t have to wear a condom anymore?
High School Freshman Girl #1: (Laughs) I never did, they did! And yeah, you just have to take the pill the next morning and you won’t get pregnant!

Jefferson High School
Overheard by Appalled Senior.