Chesty Teen: Girrrrrl, if you got size F, you need a BREAST reduction!

HHS girls locker room

Student, seriously: You just got to do what you need to survive, you know? You gotta eat other peoples limbs.

South High School Halls
Overheard by the lunches aren’t that bad…

Weird guy #1: Can you think of any situation where it would be morally and ethically justified to eat a baby?
Weird guy #2: Is the baby already dead?

AP Stats class- Jefferson High School
Overheard by I hear the vegetarian babies taste better.

College roommate: Can Jewishes be priests?

St. John’s University

College Boy (running to get indoors): Crappers! Where am I bleeding from?!

College in Roseville
Overheard by Concerned and curious classmate.

College Student #1: And Bitch Kitty will be like “Rawr!”
College Student #2: Nah man, it’ll be like “I’m Bitch Kitty and I’m gonna slice your face off!”

U of M
Overheard by LTcornflakes.

13 year old #1: My brother doesn’t have a job. He’s a lazy ass who sits around all day.
13 year old #2: How old is he?
13 year old #1: 15.

Edina Middle school
Overheard by Guess I was a lazy ass at 15 too.

Freshman Girl #1: We should take the train to Hawaii.
Freshman Girl #2: Yeah, you keep saying that…
Freshman Girl #1: No, I’m serious, we should take the train to Hawaii!

U of M West Bank
Overheard by ARH.

Smooth talker on cellphone: I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean to send you someone else’s pictures, but it happens. *laughs*

MCTC
Overheard by guess he’s not getting lucky.

Middle aged mother #1: So what, they’re mad because she got drunk and took pictures that ended up on the internet?
Middle aged mother #2: Like they’ve never been in college.

Minneapolis JCC
Overheard by I want to be a mom like that.

Girl: Someday the world’s gonna be made of jello, and then you won’t be laughing, will you?

U Cafeteria
Overheard by I probably will.

Kid interrupting a class discussion: He stole my pencil!!
Teacher: Well, life is full of disappointments, so shut up.

Hopkins West Junior High
Overheard by a good student.

Kid to group of friends: Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if, in Captain Planet, instead of shouting elements, they shouted euphemisms? Like, “A rolling stone gathers no moss!”

U of M West Bank
Overheard by yeah, that WOULD be cool.

One dumb prep girl to another: I don’t mean to be a bitch but… he’s just too cute. Too cute for you.

Prior lake high school locker room
Overheard by HAH. Nice try.

College Boy Number One: This photo is so fake looking. Can you believe they posted this on a legitimate UFO website?

College of Saint Catherine Computer Lab, Minneapolis Campus
Overheard by Was that legitimate website created by one of the lone gunmen?

Girl in bathroom stall: God, my skin finally stopped pulsating about halfway through class.
Girl in other stall: Oh, I know, same here. That stuff should be illegal.

Classroom Office Building, U of M
Overheard by Burrhead.

Desperate student asking about loan repayment: What if I die?
Mid-20s financial aid counselor: You don’t want to die, you want to enjoy the degree you’re earning!
Student: Have you paid back your loans?
Mid-20s financial aid counselor: Yes, but I just bought a house.
Student: Oh. Yikes!

financial aid office, Minneapolis
Overheard by laughing co-workers.

30-something dad to toddler: See? I told you we’d make it through the cold! Too bad we didn’t have to find a wolf and hide in its corpse.

marcy open school, winter concert
Overheard by WUT?

36C: Look at that girl’s titties! They’re tiny!
30AA: Yeah? Well, at least mine don’t slap me in the face when I’m running!

Hopkins Girls Locker Room
Overheard by zing!

Girl #1, reading languages from a website: European - Polish, Russian, Romanian. These aren’t European; they’re Eastern European.
Girl #2: Aren’t they, like, Asian?

UofM West Bank
Overheard by ever looked at a map?