Man Stumbling Into Apartment Elevator: Whaaa floor?
Twenty-something woman: Uh, two.
Man Stumbling Into Elevator: Man, that floor sucks.

Saint Paul, Just Another Downtown Apartment Building
Overheard by So why’d he get off on the same floor?

Older man, to young man who stuck his hand between closing elevator doors to open them: Whoa, look out; you’re going to lose your fingers next time!
Young man: You’re going to lose a lot more than that if you keep runnin’ your mouth like that.
Older man: Ooooh, a tough guy.
Young man: Damn straight.

Minneapolis, Grain Exhange building elevator
Overheard by Danielle.

Girl #1: What are you doing?
Girl #2 (w/McDonald’s bag in hand): I’m doing breakfast.
Girl #1: Oh my god, I LOVE breakfast!
Girl #2: Oh my god, I love it TOO!
Girl #1: It’s, like, my favorite meal.
Girl #2: I totally know what you mean, it’s mine too.
Girl #1: I totally look forward to it every day.
Girl #2: Oh my god, me TOO!

an elevator at an insurance company
Overheard by thank GOD i’m gay…

Guy: On my first date with this girl, I drove into the river.

Elevator, 28th and University Ave SE
Overheard by he never treats me like that.

Guy to other guys: …Yeah, and then she showed me a naked picture of her sister!
Other guys: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Elevator in downtown office
Overheard by i hope they are not getting off on my floor.

Woman to co-worker in the elevator: So he was like, transfer all my calls to my voicemail per Rick’s* request. And I’m like, sure, it’s not like I have anything else to do, YOU FUCKWAD!

Elevator in 225 S. 6th Street Building
Overheard by Haha, fuckwad, good one.

Jacqueline Smith Velour Track Suit #1: I can’t believe what a harlot she is.
Jacqueline Smith Velour Track Suit #2: I haven’t heard the word “harlot” in ages.
Jacqueline Smith Velour Track Suit #1: Since we’re in mixed company, I figured it was better than STD spreading slut whore. Are you going to her birthday party this weekend? Maybe we can drive together.

Galtier Plaza Elevator in St. Paul
Overheard by Now that’s a warm fuzzy.

Minnesota guy: Looks like the snow stopped. I wonder how the commute home will be.
Southern girl now living in MN: I read that there were lots of accidents this morning.
Minnesota guy: That’s because all these Southerners come up here for the jobs and can’t drive.
Southern girl now living in MN: I’m pretty sure there aren’t enough Southerners up here to be responsible for all the accidents in this morning’s commute.
Minnesota guy: Well, it’s the Arabs, too. You know, snow doesn’t affect them. They drive slow all the time.
Southern girl now living in MN: Um…

60 S. Sixth St. elevators
Overheard by sparklegirl.

Nerdy 20-something guy taking a break from making out with nerdy 20-something girlfriend: See, I make my ‘G’ like this. (illustrates with hand)
Nerdy 20-something girl: Like this? (trying to imitate boyfriend)
Nerdy 20-something guy apparently unsatisfied: No, like this! I call it my ‘Gandalf G,’ cause it’s cool!

The elevator in the Joseph’s Pointe apartments
Overheard by Wishes Galdalf G’s got him laid.

Weird girl in elevator: So… how’s the pet rock doing?
Weird guy in elevator petting something unseen: Um… fairly shiny.
Weird girl in elevator: Yeah.

Elevator by State Theater
Overheard by Is that a ROCK in your pocket.

Woman in office building on the top floor: Is this elevator going down?

St Paul, MN
Overheard by Better than elevator music.

Man: When I first came up here for my interview, I was in a suit. And my girlfriend and I were walking down Nicollet Mall and we saw this homeless guy walking along. He said I looked like a hobbit in a suit.
Woman: Which one?
Man: Samwise Gamgee.

Wells Fargo Center elevator
Overheard by Amy.

20-year-old woman in elevator, before the door even closes, really quickly: Ok, someone needs to start talking. I hate it when people don’t talk in elevators. It makes me scared, like, I wanna go stand in a corner or something. (half laughs) I’m afraid of elevators. Did you know that?
Boyfriend: No.

parking ramp elevator
Overheard by scared girl in the corner.

Guy on elevator, talking on cell: We’ve got too much of the stuff to keep in the warehouse. We don’t even have a loading dock. I guess we’ll just have to leave it in the alley for the rats. (pause) THE HOMELESS!!! YES - that’s a great idea. We’ll go all across America giving it to the homeless. (pause) Well, yeah it’s shit, but that’s not the point.

River Center Parking Ramp / St. Paul
Overheard by KC.

Hopeful woman: There’s a waiting line for getting into prison, right?
Lawyer-looking guy: No, not really.

Elevator in the Ramsey County Courthouse, St. Paul
Overheard by periodista.

Man: My house is always such a mess. He drags junk over from my neighbor’s yard.
Woman: Your neighbor’s yard is THAT messy?
Man: Yes, and now my yard looks redneck. I have to keep him in his cage so my house will be neat.

Elevator, 225 S. 6th St. Building downtown
Overheard by I hope he wasn’t talking about his kid.

Elevator Man: I finally made the big switch!
Elevator Woman: Oh? From what to what?
Elevator Man: From powder to liquid detergent!
Elevator Woman: How’d it go?
Elevator Man: It went okay. I didn’t spill a drop!

St. Paul Office
Overheard by powder detergent is so last year.

A woman backs up in a crowded elevator and is standing in front of a baby stroller.
Mother of baby (not happy): You betta get your booty outta my baby’s grill.

Crowded elevator at MCTC
Overheard by Trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

Teenage boy talking to friend: What are the signs of cancer?
Girl: I don’t know, drowsiness, excessive bleeding or being tired all the time.
Boy: I’m tired right NOW!
Girl: Well, it is 2 am.

Party in St. Paul
Overheard by girls are so much smarter than boys.

Middle-aged woman #1: We used to have a standard poodle.
Middle-aged woman #2: Ohh, that’s nice. What was his name?
Middle-aged woman #1: ‘Poodles!’

Elevator
Overheard by ‘Human.’