Posts Tagged ‘elevators’
-
Not If You Tip The Warden A $20.
Hopeful woman: There’s a waiting line for getting into prison, right?
Lawyer-looking guy: No, not really.
Elevator in the Ramsey County Courthouse, St. Paul
Overheard by periodista. -
Just Don’t Tell His Mother.
Man: My house is always such a mess. He drags junk over from my neighbor’s yard.
Woman: Your neighbor’s yard is THAT messy?
Man: Yes, and now my yard looks redneck. I have to keep him in his cage so my house will be neat.
Elevator, 225 S. 6th St. Building downtown
Overheard by I hope he wasn’t talking about his kid. -
I Totally Just Fell Asleep.
Elevator Man: I finally made the big switch!
Elevator Woman: Oh? From what to what?
Elevator Man: From powder to liquid detergent!
Elevator Woman: How’d it go?
Elevator Man: It went okay. I didn’t spill a drop!
St. Paul Office
Overheard by powder detergent is so last year. -
And Some Think Minnesotans Are Too Passive Aggressive.
A woman backs up in a crowded elevator and is standing in front of a baby stroller.
Mother of baby (not happy): You betta get your booty outta my baby’s grill.
Crowded elevator at MCTC
Overheard by Trying unsuccessfully not to laugh. -
Excessive Bleeding From Where?
Teenage boy talking to friend: What are the signs of cancer?
Girl: I don’t know, drowsiness, excessive bleeding or being tired all the time.
Boy: I’m tired right NOW!
Girl: Well, it is 2 am.
Party in St. Paul
Overheard by girls are so much smarter than boys. -
When A 4 Year Old Names Your Pet, This Is What You Get.
Middle-aged woman #1: We used to have a standard poodle.
Middle-aged woman #2: Ohh, that’s nice. What was his name?
Middle-aged woman #1: ‘Poodles!’
Elevator
Overheard by ‘Human.’ -
And The Torso In The Basement.
Man in elevator, on cellphone: Yeah, I still have the skull in my freezer…
Downtown office building elevator
Overheard by opheliac9. -
I’m Sure George Thought It Was No Big Deal, Too.
Woman on elevator: At first I was worried, but then I realized it was just George’s eyebrows burning.
Mpls Radisson Ramp elevator
Overheard by facial hair fire marshal. -
It’s Better For Your Skin Than A Mud Bath.
Woman in elevator, passively recapping a story: …so she was kinda stressed out, and she was all trying to start herself on fire.
century plaza -
Not If You Want A Tight Butt.
Guy #1: You have to really clench to hit those.
Guy #2: Not clench! Clenching is bad!
Guy #1: Oh, I know, I know. You’re right.
Guy #2: Just control your breath pressure.
Guy #1: Right.
Guy #2: Clenching is bad!
(both laugh)
U of M dorm elevator
Overheard by what were they talking about? -
Why Didn’t You Just Say So?!
Cute little boy: Are we going to 5?
His mom: No, we’re going to 8.
Cute little boy: Well I want to go to 5.
His mom: Nope, 8.
Cute little boy: (pause) Can we go to 5?
His mom: The ice cream is on 8.
Cute little boy: Oh.
hospital elevator
Overheard by I wanna go to 8 too. -
All Three Should Be Proud.
A woman wearing a blue velour tracksuit is waiting for the elevator, when up walks Annoying Male Coworker.
AMC: (smirking over his cleverness) Are you… “blue” today?
Woman: Wow… Did you think of that one all by yourself?
AMC: (speaking seriously) No… I had vital input from 2 other people.
UBS Tower Elevators -
Next She’ll Be Wearing Sweat Pants And Not Shaving Her Legs.
Trendy Girl #1: So, I mean, I just feel bad that I never put on makeup for him anymore, you know? I mean, I’ll put on makeup for school, but not for him!
Trendy Girl #2: Yeah, it is kinda sad… But on the other hand, he probably doesn’t actually care at all.
Elevator, downtown Target store
Overheard by someone who never put on makeup for school. -
Which Walgreens?
Mom #1 with small infant: Girl, I heard you got yourself a job at Walgreens. Do you got a way to get me some pills for free?
Mom #2 with two toddlers: Uh huh, girlfriend, I’m tellin ya… that’s why I’m workin’ there!
Riding elevator to the clinic
Overheard by It’s a sad, sad world. -
Delicious.
Woman sharing Thanksgiving recipes: It’s not really pumpkin pie because my mother makes it with some kind of squash.
Downtown elevator
Overheard by Uses bean curd instead of tofu. -
Awesome, Did You Get Pictures?
Man to his female friend, just as I entered the elevator: It was my own fault. The chili wasn’t cooked through. Man, it just went on from 9:00 at night til 5:00 in the morning.
elevator in my condo building
Overheard by don’t mind me…I’m just trying to get to the 7th floor. -
Maybe His Parents Have Room For One More.
Young guy in suit: Man, I just paid more for a tank of gas this morning than I pay my parents for rent!
Other young guy in suit: I know. I know. It’s outta control.
Wells Fargo Tower elevator
Overheard by CheekyMonkey. -
Shame And Dignity Are So Overrated.
20-Something woman entering elevator: Is that B.O. I smell?
Her blonde friend in a denim jacket: It’s kind of oniony – gross!
The blonde woman ducks her head towards her armpit.
Blonde woman: It’s time to wash this jacket I guess.
Elevator in Campbell Mithun Tower
Overheard by Embarrassed FOR her.
more oim
