Drunk hippie dude to very busty sober girl: HEYYYY, Big Boobs!
Busty sober girl: Hey, Small Cock! See? Stating the obvious isn’t always the way to go with pick up lines, now move along.

Excelsior, Bayside Grille
Overheard by ooooh Burn.

Girl: At my wedding we are going to have an open bar, but I am going to charge those guys.  I am going to stamp their hands “cheap motherfuckers”.

Excelsior, Bayside
Overheard by this girl made my night.

Girl on cell: YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN’T GET HIGH ANYMORE! Well, come to the commons and we can make out instead. I’d get your girlfriend to come and make out with you if she wasn’t fuckin’ grounded again. ‘Kay, see you soon.

Excelsior Commons

Really loud girl: I forgot to take it for, like, four days.
Equally loud gay friend: Oh, just take four tonight.
Really loud girl: Maybe I’ll just wait a week and then start it over.
Friend (suggestively): Oh yeah, you can always do other stuff.

Excelsior fireworks
Overheard by and then they discussed the “other stuff”.

White suburban boy trying to be gangsta: Did you see that cat?!
Suburban gangsta friend: That was a DOG, dumbass!!!

Excelsior fireworks
Overheard by you can’t be gangsta in downtown excelsior.

Teen, emphatically desperate to convince her friends: He wasn’t lying!! It was on Facebook!!

Excelsior 4th of July fireworks
Overheard by The Usher.

Woman, after a guy in bear suit walked by: If Bush gets his way there won’t be any more bears.

Excelsior, MN
Overheard by C.Dugan.