Very excited young white woman to friend: Omigod, they work us like slaves there.
Black man, reading book glances at them for a second

Southbound 4 bus, Hennepin/8th
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Middle Aged lady #1: My butt’s getting sooo huge.
Middle Aged lady #2: That’s because you have the big whore syndrome.
Middle Aged lady #1: Yeah.

Uptown - Hennepin Ave & 31st Steet
Overheard by I didn’t think women my mom’s age talked like that.

Middle-aged woman talking to a guy on what appears to be their first date: So we got a big plate of nachos, and I noticed there was guacamole on the side, and I said, “Oh I just love guacamole, do you?” He said, “I’ve never tried it; I don’t eat green food.” I thought, you’re 35 and you don’t eat green food!? Then said, “What about salads?” He said, “I don’t eat salads.” (Laugh, laugh, laugh.) Oh, well, alright, have a good night. Nice to meet you.
The guy she’s on a date with: Ah… uh huh.

Uncommon Grounds/28th St. and Hennepin
Overheard by JC.

Woman: A friend was telling me that the thing she likes most about the Christmas season is the smell of scotch tape.

Dunn Bros, 34th and Hennepin
Overheard by ORLY.

Old Man: I keep practicing that music so my fingers are going to look like an Englishman’s teeth.

Dunn Brothers, 34th and Hennepin
Overheard by ORLY.

Older homeless woman, yelling: Oh OK - so you don’t want to see Christ. Your loss!

Hennepin Ave. in front of the Lumber Exchange Building
Overheard by hapless pedestrian.

Short unattractive pudgy lady smoking: You know, I’ve danced here for 5 years and I’ve never made someone tip me if they are unemployed.

Outside Skyway lounge on Hennepin
Overheard by Now I know where to get free dances.

Old Navy-clad tourist: And over there’s the old Uptown Theatre. They always have good movies, but the place is known to be kind of sleazy, if you know what I mean.

Hennepin & Lagoon
Overheard by uh, is there a secret brothel in the basement?

Well dressed older black gentleman after being rejected by a very young woman: I have enough business with a 17-year-old as a hooker with a wristwatch!

10th and Hennepin
Overheard by Puzzled and Laughing.

Well Groomed Gay Guy with another well Groomed Gay Guy: So, Rich do you like it in the ass?

8th St & Hennepin
Overheard by Busting Out Laughing.

Early 20’s guy in Droopy Pants while giving his number to a girl at a bus stop: I don’t do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I’m too old for that.

Bus Stop at 8th and Hennepin
Overheard by Not old enough is more like it.

Mother with baby stroller crossing intersection to car driver who almost ran them over: Get off the phone!
Driver with cell phone on ear: I was just checking my messages!

34th and Hennepin
Overheard by Molly.

Guy #1: His doctor said he has sensitive skin and gave him an ointment, but he was itching a lot down there.
Guy #2: Yeah, but he always itches down there.
Guy #1: But wasn’t he itching more than usual?

University & Hennepin
Overheard by Kedster.

Girl on cell phone: I’m a 5′1″ blonde girl from Edina. I can do whatever the fuck I want.

hennepin sidewalk-uptown
Overheard by can i punch you in the face?

20-something girl: …let kids watch porn.
20-something guy: Yea, they’re gonna be f***ed up when they’re older anyways.

hennepin-uptown
Overheard by actually did a double-take.

African-American Man #1: So they make a motherfuckin’ coffin and put it in the ground, then that guy….
African-American Man #2: Julian Bond.
African-American Man #1: Yeah, that motherfucker. He says, “No one will use the “N” Word anymore.”
African-American Man #2: That’s great. That word needs to go away. Don’t you agree?
African-American Man #1: Nigger, please. I totally find the word offensive, and I’m glad it’s gone.

Hennepin Ave and 10th St.
Overheard by Ironic, who find this to be a great definition of irony.

Guy walking by in Uptown talking about Bob Barker: The show just won’t be the same without him. And the pet population is going to explode!

Lake and Hennepin
Overheard by The Truth Hurts.

A man wooing a fair maiden wearing some baby phat and apple bottom jeans: Damn, that’s gotta be Jello cause jam don’t jiggle like that.

5th and Hennepin

Cognizant Homeless Man: Man, you never even realize it - you start to watch the Price is Right instead of filing your taxes, and then BAM, you’re shitting in the park and wiping your ass with newspaper.
His buddy: Yeah Man. For me it was COPS.

Hennepin Ave
Overheard by Notwatchingthepriceisrighteveragain.

Girl in head to toe Bebe attire full with purse and shoes talking on a bedazzled phone: The check to my dad bounced.

Hennepin Ave Uptown
Overheard by The Uptowner.