Burly man: I don’t even know if I wanna kick ya, I got my good shoes on.

hexagon bar/outside smoking corral
Overheard by finishing my beer and locking my bike.

Old Drunk Lady: Well you’re in luck. Both pool tables are being used, so I guess I’m not going to kick your ass.
Old Drunk Man: Yer just whistlin’ in the dark. Yer a dog barkin’ up a dead horse’s ass.
Old Drunk Lady: I’m just saying, I have to go to the bathroom, but both pool tables are being used. I have to go to the bathroom, but both pool tables are being used.

The Hexagon
Overheard by Bewildered and concerned recreational pool player.