Guy: Name five ways a human is better than a chicken. You can’t do it!

Northfield, a pious college on a hill
Overheard by apparently the equivalent of a chicken.

Freshman guy: You’d be surprised; my pants are surprisingly flexible.

Roseville, Northwestern College
Overheard by All that Yoga’s finally paid off.

Girl to Bro: So I told her, “Excuse me?! I’ve been a lifeguard! I’ve had to go from ‘Chugga-chugga-choo-choo,’ to ‘Chugga-chugga-boom-boom!’”

Saint Paul, Brady Hall
Overheard by What does that even mean?!

Man walking by classroom on phone: I’ve done it all over, even out of state.

St. Paul, Concordia St. Paul Classroom
Overheard by I’m intriguied by your experience.

College guy to other college guy: You could poop your pants tonight and she’d still want to date you.

Arden Hills, Arden Hall, Northwestern College
Overheard by She’s very maternal like that.

Freshman bottle blonde to her friends: And we could live together next year and, like, be, like… the blonde trio!!!
Friends with the exact same hair color: OH MAH GAWD, THAT’S SO AWESOME!

Arden Hills, Bethel University
Overheard by mines naturally that color.

Man #1: Booze. Where’d you get it?
Man #2: From the booze store.

Inver Grove Heights, Inver Hills Community College
Overheard by truly a terrific store.

Professor, to student about possible reasons they might not have been feeling well: When you pickle something, you just never know.

Roseville, Northwestern College
Overheard by I am now wary of the sauerkraut.

College guy: Boy George makes Elton John look like Rambo.

Roseville, Northwestern College
Overheard by And Capote is Rocky?

College Freshman: If you’re attracting a wife because you have a Harley, she probably already has a baby.

Arden Hills, Arden Hall, Northwestern College
Overheard by There goes that mid-life crisis idea.

Guy yelling to friend as he approaches: Dude! You fed an Altoid to a squirrel? Was it awesome?
Guy sitting on bench: It was the most bad ass thing I’ve ever seen.

Minneapolis, Augsburg College
Overheard by The Coalition for Fresh-Breathed Rodents.

Art Student #1: So, guys, I’m thinking of dying my hair red.
Art Student #2: What color red?
Art Student #1: Like, red red.
Art Student #2: No, I mean, like a cadmium red? Or more a cadmium red/orange?
Art Student #1: Just… red.

Minneapolis College Of Art & Design
Overheard by Pfft. Only at art school.

Guy in hallway: So, I got all jittery before class and then I threw up right before lunch. So, yeah, don’t take six at once.

Duluth, St. Scholastica
Overheard by B-dubs.

College girl, defending herself: I’m on drugs, you can’t trust anything I say.

Saint Paul, Concordia University Library
Overheard by cspme.

College girl: So, are you, like, deaf in one ear?
College guy: Well, sort of. It’s like 40 percent.
College girl: So, can you hear me right now?

Roseville, Northwestern College
Overheard by No, he just mastered telepathy.

College Girl to another College Girl: I taught him how to cuddle. Dan, show her how you cuddle!
Dan: I don’t remember.

Concordia University St. Paul
Overheard by Expert Cuddler.

Freshman (white) girl: Why is it that in all the movies, Asians are the bad guys?

Arden Hills, Arden Hall, Northwestern College
Overheard by Jackie Chan, Mr. Miyagi, and all the Bond villains.

Little girl talking to her mom: When I’m DANCING, I’m THINKING!

Minneapolis, MCAD
Overheard by Quietly observing, pretending to work.

Cosmo student: My mannequin says “I love farts!” on it!

Minneapolis, Aveda Institute
Overheard by fellow avedite.

Guy walking out of school on his cell phone: How am I supposed to seduce you if you’re not drunk?

Bloomington, Normandale Community College