Posts Tagged ‘hopkins’

  • Fair Compromise

    Date: 2010.06.24 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Adult: Nice haircut, kid! Is your dad in the Army or something?
    Teenager with newly shaved head: No, but he did go to prison!

    Hopkins, summer school

  • She’s Spent Too Much Under Water

    Date: 2009.07.03 | Category: all | Response: 0

    New gym member, dropped kid off to tour facility: We would love our son to be able to see the place but if he sees the P-O-O-L we’ll never get him out!
    Employee: (spells out loud to herself) P-O-O-L. What is that?

    Hopkins, Lifetime Fitness
    Overheard by Bunch.

  • Definitely Less Responsibility

    Date: 2009.06.23 | Category: all | Response: 0

    IT guy #1: So, my wife and I decided we’re no longer cutting our grass.
    IT guy #2 (skeptically): Oh yeah?
    IT guy #1: Yeah. Instead, we’re buying a goat.

    Hopkins, in the office
    Overheard by cube monkey.

  • OH MY GOD SWINE FLU IS GOING TO KILL US ALL

    Date: 2009.05.05 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Woman behind counter, to customer who coughed: Smoker’s cough?
    Customer:  No.  I’ve never tried a cigarette in my life.
    Woman behind counter:  Well, then you should be wearing a surgical mask!

    Hopkins, bakery
    Overheard by Critty.

  • That Delight Never Fades

    Date: 2009.05.04 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Toddler boy: What’s that noise?!
    Mom: Ehh?
    Toddler, delighted: I pooted in my butt!!
    Mom, horrified: Ehhhhh…

    Hopkins, smallish elevator
    Overheard by I wish I was that excited that early in the AM.

  • Leather Free Nipple Tassels?

    Date: 2009.04.23 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Woman on phone, describing a bikini: …and it had those tassels like vegetarians wear.  And it would have been cute, but Sophie is so fat.

    Hopkins, On the eastbound 615
    Overheard by So, Sophie isn’t really a vegetarian?

  • It Just Doesn’t Get Old

    Date: 2009.03.20 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Teacher to student: Stop playing with other kids’ balls!

    Hopkins, School
    Overheard by I still think it is funny.

  • Isn’t Nature Crazy?

    Date: 2009.03.16 | Category: all | Response: 0

    9 year old, in response to the question ”Do you know when puberty normally begins for young women?”: In the spring I think, normally in the morning!

    Hopkins, A community center
    Overheard by Most adorable quote of the weekend!

  • Doesn’t Anyone Research Anything Anymore?

    Date: 2009.01.18 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Teen girl #1: God, I hate being a girl and having my period!
    Teen girl #2: Well, you could have a hysterectomy.
    Teen girl #1: Does it hurt?
    Teen girl #2: No, but you have to take these pills so you don’t turn into a man.
    Teen girl #1: Hm… I think I’ll look into that.

    Hopkins High School
    Overheard by failed health.

  • We Wired A Bug Zapper In Sex Ed

    Date: 2008.12.20 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Boy #1: So, we were talking about masturbation in electronics class, and Carl goes, “I started in, like, eighth grade because I heard it makes you better at sex.”
    Boy #2 (jokingly, I think): Haha, I started in, like, third grade.
    Boy #1: I know! I told him, “We don’t do it because it makes us better at sex, we do it because it feels good,” and he goes, “Well, it feels REALLY GOOD.”
    Boy #2: HAHAHA!
    Boy #1: I’m never gonna let him live that down.

    Hopkins High School
    Overheard by Sarah.

  • If It Helps With His Grades

    Date: 2008.11.10 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Teen pointing at an empty corner: Hey, Teach! Why don’t you hang anything up in that corner?
    Aggravated Math Teacher: What? You want me to hang YOU there?

    Hopkins High School
    Overheard by not volunteering!

  • Because That’s Far More Interesting Than A Tree

    Date: 2008.11.07 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Teen Boy #1: (looking at picture) It’s a bomb! Like, a mushroom cloud.
    Teen Girl: No, it’s totally a tree!
    Teen Boy #2: Why did you draw pubic hair on your paper?

    Hopkins, HHS
    Overheard by No! It’s a bear!

  • And Now We’re Telling Everyone Else

    Date: 2008.10.13 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Boy, to girl behind him: Yeah, he totally told everyone he has herpes.

    Hopkins High School
    Overheard by wow… just wow.

  • I’m Joining The Ranks Of The Immature

    Date: 2008.09.11 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Teenage Boy: She called me immature for laughing at “Lake Titicaca!”

    Hopkins, HHS
    Overheard by apparently immature.

  • She’s Never Seen Demolition Man

    Date: 2008.07.27 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Girl: I wonder how the humans had sex in Wall-E. I mean, they were in those chairs and couldn’t move, it was a big deal when the captain stood up!

    Shady Oak Beach
    Overheard by Robots.

  • It’s A Dumb Game Anyway

    Date: 2008.07.24 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Girl #1: Let’s play guess the color!
    Girl #2: Ok, yellow, red, orange, um, blue, six? (pause) Oh wait, damn.

    Shady Oak Beach
    Overheard by Jane’s lover.

  • Someone Tell Them It Was Make Believe

    Date: 2008.07.21 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Crowd of teenage girls galloping forward with sticks and fists in the air: FOR NARNIA!!!!

    Hopkins High School
    Overheard by who knew early morning cross country practice could be this much fun?

  • Famous Last Words

    Date: 2008.06.19 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Gentleman: I’m not worried about the police.

    Billy and the Old Man, Hopkins
    Overheard by someone who is.

  • Gotta Call It Something

    Date: 2008.05.27 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Girl on Phone: Hey girl!  I just got done lubricating my Rubik’s Cube!

    Hopkins High School
    Overheard by Momo.

  • Taking What He Can Get

    Date: 2008.05.27 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Teenage Guy: Hey, can I have an arm massage?
    Teenage Girl: I am NOT giving you another arm massage.
    Teenage Guy: Please?
    Teenage Girl: NO.
    Teenage Guy: Ankle massage?

    Hopkins High School
    Overheard by Julie.