Posts Tagged ‘hopkins’
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Fair Compromise
Adult: Nice haircut, kid! Is your dad in the Army or something?
Teenager with newly shaved head: No, but he did go to prison!Hopkins, summer school
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She’s Spent Too Much Under Water
New gym member, dropped kid off to tour facility: We would love our son to be able to see the place but if he sees the P-O-O-L we’ll never get him out!
Employee: (spells out loud to herself) P-O-O-L. What is that?Hopkins, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by Bunch. -
Definitely Less Responsibility
IT guy #1: So, my wife and I decided we’re no longer cutting our grass.
IT guy #2 (skeptically): Oh yeah?
IT guy #1: Yeah. Instead, we’re buying a goat.Hopkins, in the office
Overheard by cube monkey. -
OH MY GOD SWINE FLU IS GOING TO KILL US ALL
Woman behind counter, to customer who coughed: Smoker’s cough?
Customer: No. I’ve never tried a cigarette in my life.
Woman behind counter: Well, then you should be wearing a surgical mask!Hopkins, bakery
Overheard by Critty. -
That Delight Never Fades
Toddler boy: What’s that noise?!
Mom: Ehh?
Toddler, delighted: I pooted in my butt!!
Mom, horrified: Ehhhhh…Hopkins, smallish elevator
Overheard by I wish I was that excited that early in the AM. -
Leather Free Nipple Tassels?
Woman on phone, describing a bikini: …and it had those tassels like vegetarians wear. And it would have been cute, but Sophie is so fat.
Hopkins, On the eastbound 615
Overheard by So, Sophie isn’t really a vegetarian? -
It Just Doesn’t Get Old
Teacher to student: Stop playing with other kids’ balls!
Hopkins, School
Overheard by I still think it is funny. -
Isn’t Nature Crazy?
9 year old, in response to the question ”Do you know when puberty normally begins for young women?”: In the spring I think, normally in the morning!
Hopkins, A community center
Overheard by Most adorable quote of the weekend! -
Doesn’t Anyone Research Anything Anymore?
Teen girl #1: God, I hate being a girl and having my period!
Teen girl #2: Well, you could have a hysterectomy.
Teen girl #1: Does it hurt?
Teen girl #2: No, but you have to take these pills so you don’t turn into a man.
Teen girl #1: Hm… I think I’ll look into that.Hopkins High School
Overheard by failed health. -
We Wired A Bug Zapper In Sex Ed
Boy #1: So, we were talking about masturbation in electronics class, and Carl goes, “I started in, like, eighth grade because I heard it makes you better at sex.”
Boy #2 (jokingly, I think): Haha, I started in, like, third grade.
Boy #1: I know! I told him, “We don’t do it because it makes us better at sex, we do it because it feels good,” and he goes, “Well, it feels REALLY GOOD.”
Boy #2: HAHAHA!
Boy #1: I’m never gonna let him live that down.Hopkins High School
Overheard by Sarah. -
If It Helps With His Grades
Teen pointing at an empty corner: Hey, Teach! Why don’t you hang anything up in that corner?
Aggravated Math Teacher: What? You want me to hang YOU there?Hopkins High School
Overheard by not volunteering! -
Because That’s Far More Interesting Than A Tree
Teen Boy #1: (looking at picture) It’s a bomb! Like, a mushroom cloud.
Teen Girl: No, it’s totally a tree!
Teen Boy #2: Why did you draw pubic hair on your paper?Hopkins, HHS
Overheard by No! It’s a bear! -
And Now We’re Telling Everyone Else
Boy, to girl behind him: Yeah, he totally told everyone he has herpes.
Hopkins High School
Overheard by wow… just wow. -
I’m Joining The Ranks Of The Immature
Teenage Boy: She called me immature for laughing at “Lake Titicaca!”
Hopkins, HHS
Overheard by apparently immature. -
She’s Never Seen Demolition Man
Girl: I wonder how the humans had sex in Wall-E. I mean, they were in those chairs and couldn’t move, it was a big deal when the captain stood up!
Shady Oak Beach
Overheard by Robots. -
It’s A Dumb Game Anyway
Girl #1: Let’s play guess the color!
Girl #2: Ok, yellow, red, orange, um, blue, six? (pause) Oh wait, damn.Shady Oak Beach
Overheard by Jane’s lover. -
Someone Tell Them It Was Make Believe
Crowd of teenage girls galloping forward with sticks and fists in the air: FOR NARNIA!!!!
Hopkins High School
Overheard by who knew early morning cross country practice could be this much fun? -
Famous Last Words
Gentleman: I’m not worried about the police.
Billy and the Old Man, Hopkins
Overheard by someone who is. -
Gotta Call It Something
Girl on Phone: Hey girl! I just got done lubricating my Rubik’s Cube!
Hopkins High School
Overheard by Momo. -
Taking What He Can Get
Teenage Guy: Hey, can I have an arm massage?
Teenage Girl: I am NOT giving you another arm massage.
Teenage Guy: Please?
Teenage Girl: NO.
Teenage Guy: Ankle massage?Hopkins High School
Overheard by Julie.
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