She’s Spent Too Much Under Water
New gym member, dropped kid off to tour facility: We would love our son to be able to see the place but if he sees the P-O-O-L we’ll never get him out!
Employee: (spells out loud to herself) P-O-O-L. What is that?
Hopkins, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by Bunch.
Definitely Less Responsibility
IT guy #1: So, my wife and I decided we’re no longer cutting our grass.
IT guy #2 (skeptically): Oh yeah?
IT guy #1: Yeah. Instead, we’re buying a goat.
Hopkins, in the office
Overheard by cube monkey.
OH MY GOD SWINE FLU IS GOING TO KILL US ALL
Woman behind counter, to customer who coughed: Smoker’s cough?
Customer: No. I’ve never tried a cigarette in my life.
Woman behind counter: Well, then you should be wearing a surgical mask!
Hopkins, bakery
Overheard by Critty.
Toddler boy: What’s that noise?!
Mom: Ehh?
Toddler, delighted: I pooted in my butt!!
Mom, horrified: Ehhhhh…
Hopkins, smallish elevator
Overheard by I wish I was that excited that early in the AM.
Leather Free Nipple Tassels?
Woman on phone, describing a bikini: …and it had those tassels like vegetarians wear. And it would have been cute, but Sophie is so fat.
Hopkins, On the eastbound 615
Overheard by So, Sophie isn’t really a vegetarian?
Teacher to student: Stop playing with other kids’ balls!
Hopkins, School
Overheard by I still think it is funny.
9 year old, in response to the question ”Do you know when puberty normally begins for young women?”: In the spring I think, normally in the morning!
Hopkins, A community center
Overheard by Most adorable quote of the weekend!
Doesn’t Anyone Research Anything Anymore?
Teen girl #1: God, I hate being a girl and having my period!
Teen girl #2: Well, you could have a hysterectomy.
Teen girl #1: Does it hurt?
Teen girl #2: No, but you have to take these pills so you don’t turn into a man.
Teen girl #1: Hm… I think I’ll look into that.
Hopkins High School
Overheard by failed health.
We Wired A Bug Zapper In Sex Ed
Boy #1: So, we were talking about masturbation in electronics class, and Carl goes, “I started in, like, eighth grade because I heard it makes you better at sex.”
Boy #2 (jokingly, I think): Haha, I started in, like, third grade.
Boy #1: I know! I told him, “We don’t do it because it makes us better at sex, we do it because it feels good,” and he goes, “Well, it feels REALLY GOOD.”
Boy #2: HAHAHA!
Boy #1: I’m never gonna let him live that down.
Hopkins High School
Overheard by Sarah.
If It Helps With His Grades
Teen pointing at an empty corner: Hey, Teach! Why don’t you hang anything up in that corner?
Aggravated Math Teacher: What? You want me to hang YOU there?
Hopkins High School
Overheard by not volunteering!
Because That’s Far More Interesting Than A Tree
Teen Boy #1: (looking at picture) It’s a bomb! Like, a mushroom cloud.
Teen Girl: No, it’s totally a tree!
Teen Boy #2: Why did you draw pubic hair on your paper?
Hopkins, HHS
Overheard by No! It’s a bear!
And Now We’re Telling Everyone Else
Boy, to girl behind him: Yeah, he totally told everyone he has herpes.
Hopkins High School
Overheard by wow… just wow.
I’m Joining The Ranks Of The Immature
Teenage Boy: She called me immature for laughing at “Lake Titicaca!”
Hopkins, HHS
Overheard by apparently immature.
She’s Never Seen Demolition Man
Girl: I wonder how the humans had sex in Wall-E. I mean, they were in those chairs and couldn’t move, it was a big deal when the captain stood up!
Shady Oak Beach
Overheard by Robots.
Girl #1: Let’s play guess the color!
Girl #2: Ok, yellow, red, orange, um, blue, six? (pause) Oh wait, damn.
Shady Oak Beach
Overheard by Jane’s lover.
Someone Tell Them It Was Make Believe
Crowd of teenage girls galloping forward with sticks and fists in the air: FOR NARNIA!!!!
Hopkins High School
Overheard by who knew early morning cross country practice could be this much fun?
Gentleman: I’m not worried about the police.
Billy and the Old Man, Hopkins
Overheard by someone who is.
Girl on Phone: Hey girl! I just got done lubricating my Rubik’s Cube!
Hopkins High School
Overheard by Momo.
Teenage Guy: Hey, can I have an arm massage?
Teenage Girl: I am NOT giving you another arm massage.
Teenage Guy: Please?
Teenage Girl: NO.
Teenage Guy: Ankle massage?
Hopkins High School
Overheard by Julie.
Call It A Social Experiment If That Makes You Feel Better
Guy: I decided I would do a little social experiment. So I went to the gas station and bought a chocolate muffin and sat down outside the door. Then this guy passed me, so I shoved the muffin in my mouth and started singing “What if God Was One of Us” with little pieces of the muffin falling out of my mouth. It was great.
Hopkins High School
Overheard by Julie.
(+30 rating, 32 votes)
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posted on 07-03-2009 hopkins the gym 0 Comments 
