Middle aged woman #1: I mean, the poor girl has three uteruses, and she’s from India and-
Middle aged woman #2: Does that mean she can have three babies at the same time??

Bloomington, Hotel
Overheard by Your Confused Front Desk Agent.

Mayor Rybak to a staffer, as they leave one event to go to another: Is it time for me to get yelled at about taxes?

Minneapolis, Ivy Hotel
Overheard by concerned voter.

Out-of-shape brah to friend: You need to shave.
Mouth-breathing brah: Man, that’s my chinstrap!
Out-of-shape brah: Then you need to tighten it.

Minneapolis, Radisson TCF
Overheard by Emmett.

Female coworker excitedly: I finally got that string off of the radio!
Female coworker matter-of-factly: That was the antenna.

Minneapolis, Hotel Office
Overheard by Amanda.

Man watching old baseball game on TV announced by Joe Buck: Oh, I hate Joe Buck, why can’t he just be one of those guys who has a terrible accident and dies?

Minneapolis, hotel bar
Overheard by Tim McCarver.

Woman: Could you play ‘Crazy Bitch’ for me?
DJ: Sure, are you a ‘crazy bitch’?
Woman: Well, I was escorted out of a Vegas club in a wheelchair.

Minneapolis, Hotel Downtown
Overheard by sorry I missed that scene!

Hotel Front Desk Girl: Will you be staying here with us tonight?
Male Guest Obviously Flustered: Yes, I will be sleeping with you tonight. Oh uhm, I mean sleeping here tonight… at the hotel.

Minneapolis, 425 S 2nd
Overheard by The back-office has ears.

Middle aged drunk woman to tween in elevator PACKED full of people: So, what are you doing here?
Tween: We’re here for Faith on Fire, a national Christian youth convention.
Drunk woman to friend: Ohhhh Noelle! Aren’t you here for the Buddhist monk convention? (Asians in back grimace)
Tween: I appreciate your humor, lady.  (immediately gets off elevator)
Drunk woman:  So, do you think my Sam’s Club card will get us into the Penthouse Suite?

Minneapolis, Downtown ritzy hotel
Overheard by I’m drunk now, so this may be funnier to me.

Mother, overreacting to her daughter having spilled some juice: Agh, you giraffe!!

Duluth, Edgewater Hotel
Overheard by Dare I wonder what she calls her other children?

Man checking in to upscale hotel to female front desk attendant: Checking in under Jane Johnson, she had to go take a leak.
Front desk attendant: I don’t see a reservation under Johnson.  Is there a different last name it could be under?
Man: No, we just made it online.
Front desk attendant: Do you have your confirmation number?
Man (vaguely): 5, 6, 9, dah dah dah dah dah…
Front desk attendant: You can use the computer in the business center to check the reservation if you’d like.
Man, a minute later after checking at business center: Check under Smith.  John Smith.
Front desk attendant: Yes sir, we do have that reservation.
Man: I didn’t think it would be under my name.

The Westin Minneapolis
Overheard by Even when she asked if there was another last name it could have been under?

Incredibly angry young woman: You wrote right here that my room number is 149! I walked all the way down the hall and back and you ain’t got no 149!
Incredibly patient front desk man: Ma’am, that’s your rate, your room number is right below your key.

Depot Minneapolis
Overheard by and when was the last time you went to a hotel?

Girl #1: Whenever I drink, my kidney hurts the next day.
Girl #2: Um, maybe you shouldn’t drink so much.

In the Sheraton lobby during Convergence

Young Lady #1: You know, there are a bunch of blind people staying in the hotel.
Young Lady #2: Yeah, well that explains why my TV had closed captions on it.

Lobby of the Four points Sheraton
Overheard by The boy your mom warned you about.

Elderly woman looking for her cell phone: Did you put it on vibrate?
Woman’s husband: What do you want? The vibrator?

The Westin Hotel – Downtown
Overheard by a couple employees who thought we’d heard it all.

Elderly woman entering wedding reception: I’ve found since I’ve gotten older I can hold my liquor better. So I’ll drive home.

WBL Country Inn
Overheard by Hope she wasn’t parked next to me.

Teenaged girl discussing with her friends where to get alcohol for the night: We got a homeless person to buy us alcohol in Seattle. It’s not easy to do. I mean, they’ll do it, but it’s not easy to get them to to pay attention for long enough to tell them what to do.

Hyatt downtown
Overheard by fics.

Very “non-judgemental” person: Those religious people are the judgemental ones!

Holiday Inn Burnsville
Overheard by Pam.

Several business men sitting at a hotel banquet breakfast.
Businessman #1: I need to go home and work on my marriage.
Businessman #2: I stay at work to work on my marriage!

hotel, downtown St. Paul
Overheard by banquet server.