Young gent to little gal: If you fart and burp at the same time, you’ll explode.

warming house at matthews park in Seward

Mom to young son in the women’s bathroom: Come on honey, just go to the bathroom already.
3-year-old son: Ok, mommy. (30 seconds of silence, the kid still sits on the toilet swinging his legs) (singing loudly) Go ahead and poooooop, go ahead and pooooop [pause]. Go ahead and faaaaaart, go ahead and faaaaaart.

Highland ice arena
Overheard by Thanks for the play-by-play.