Girl to boyfriend, while picking up a blue shag rug: We could just get a Muppet.  Like, I could be a murderer of Muppets.

Ikea
Overheard by Not Cookie Monster!

Creepy 70-year old man: And they were just the most beautiful ten-year old Hawaiian boys ever. And the long, flowing black hair, oh, it was just breath-taking.

Ikea children’s department
Overheard by concerned for Hawaiians.

College-bound Girl: I don’t need an ironing board; I got one at the Senior Party!

Ikea
Overheard by An Invisible Fiend.

Blonde: It’s so hot in here, I’m all sweaty.
Brunette: I think I’m going to need my turtle.

IKEA
Overheard by that’s not going to solve your problem.

Woman in line: See, they make you pay 5 cents for the plastic bags.
Man in line: Why are they doing that?
Woman in line: They want to save a tree I guess.

IKEA
Overheard by Save the plastic trees!

Boyfriend: How do we get out?
Girlfriend: We just follow the exit signs.
Boyfriend: But I wanna get out NOW, not in an hour. How do we get out NOW??

IKEA
Overheard by So can relate.

Girl: I’m just having sex and not really working at IKEA anymore.

Bordertown Coffee
Overheard by Jealous.

Ikea employee to another employee: He’s at least 100% potty trained.

Ikea Smaland kids’ area
Overheard by Scooter.

Cashier: That will be one dollar even, please.
Girl in line to her friend: Do you have a dollar? All I have is a five.

Ikea
Overheard by Michael.