Middle school boy:  I’m a grown-ass man
The sub:  And how old are you?
Middle school boy:  I’m 14.  I’m a grown-ass man.

First-ring suburban middle school
Overheard by Uh-huh.

Teenage girl student: It’s so cold in this school.
Girl’s Friend: Yeah, isn’t global warming supposed to melt this planet?
Teenage girl student: Whatever. I just want to wear my mini without leggings.

A Western Suburb Middle School
Overheard by dazed and confused.