Posts Tagged ‘kids’

  • Isn’t That Enough?

    Date: 2011.08.08 | Category: all | Response: 0

    3 year old boy, as he almost falls: Oh, Jesus.
    Nanny: Do you know who Jesus is?
    3 year old boy: Yes, of course.
    Nanny: What does he do?
    3 year old boy: He delivers us from evil. Duh.
    Nanny: What else does Jesus do?
    3 year old boy: I have no idea!

    Shoreview, Park
    Overheard by just another nanny.

  • There’s One Way To Find Out

    Date: 2011.05.13 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Kid: Mom, do we have to be good in here?
    Mom, trying to hurry: Yes. We always have to be good in the library.
    Kid: Why?
    Mom: Because good things happen to good people.
    Kid: Why?
    Mom, getting frustrated: Because that’s the way things work, honey.
    Kid: Is there a God?
    Mom, at wit’s end: I sure hope so!

    St Paul, Merriam Park Library

  • Wait Until You See What I Have Planned For Your Teen Years

    Date: 2011.04.22 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Spoiled 6 yr old kid to frazzled mom: YOU’RE PRETTY MUCH RUINING MY LIFE!!

    Savage, Target
    Overheard by Fellow shopper trying to get far far away.

  • The Reds Are Taking Up Too Much Space In My Toy Box

    Date: 2011.01.18 | Category: all | Response: 0

    5th/6th grade boy: I’ll sure be glad when the wine cellar is finished.
    2nd boy: Me, too.

    Maple Grove, Ski trip bus on way back from Trollhaugen
    Overheard by Me too kid, me too.

  • This Will Not Be Another Kohl’s Incident!

    Date: 2010.11.12 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Mom: Diego, take your little brother to the bathroom. (they start to walk away) And bring him BACK, too!

    Minneapolis, Lake Street Target
    Overheard by Specificity is Greatly Appreciated.

  • Let’s Play “Which Is Worse?”

    Date: 2010.10.30 | Category: all | Response: 0

    4-year old girl, pointing to package of men’s underwear: Mom, why is his pete so thick?

    St. Louis Park, TJ Maxx
    Overheard by B.

  • Nothing Stings Like Disappointment From A Child

    Date: 2010.10.24 | Category: all | Response: 0

    5 year old boy holding a pair of red, sequin shoes up to his Mom: I found some shoes that are perfect for you.
    Mom, laughing: Well, the thing is…
    5 year old boy, disappointed: Oh, you’re not that into fashion.

    Minneapolis, Target
    Overheard by sunidae.

  • Easier To Manage

    Date: 2010.08.22 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Little boy looking at the sleeping lions at the zoo: They’re always dead.

    St. Paul, Como Zoo
    Overheard by I must resurrect every morning, then.

  • Not If You Keep Breaking My Concentration

    Date: 2010.07.22 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Little boy to mother in stall: Mom, what’s taking so long? Are ya poopin?
    Mom: I’m still in here. I’ll be out in a second.
    Boy: But are ya poopin?
    Mom: I’ll be out in a second.
    Boy: Yeah, but are ya poopin?

    Minneapolis, Women’s restroom at Orchestra Hall
    Overheard by someone just trying to wash their hands.

  • Not Nearly Enough

    Date: 2010.07.21 | Category: all | Response: 0

    4-year-old boy sitting in cart putting on sunglasses: Mom, do these make me look bad ass?
    Startled mother looking at pens: We don’t talk about that. Wait, where did you get that from??
    Boy: Batman. Do these look bad ass?

    Coon Rapids, Pen asile at Officemax
    Overheard by Officemax Employee.

  • Put A Muzzle On It First

    Date: 2010.07.18 | Category: all | Response: 0

    4-year-old boy with cat on leash: DAD!
    Dad: What?
    Boy: Come here!
    Dad: NO!

    Minneapolis, Uptown, Dupont Ave
    Overheard by Hmmm.

  • Intermediate Pet Dressing

    Date: 2010.07.11 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Little girl in dressing room: And today we are going to learn about how to put underwear on a Chinchilla!

    Dressing room in Mall of America
    Overheard by Dressing room attendant.

  • As A Matter Of Fact…

    Date: 2010.07.11 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Girl holding long piece of paper: Will you hold this for me, Mommy?
    Mom, with armful of books: Look how much I am carrying, and what you have. Do you think it’s fair to ask me? Are you the Queen of Sheba?

    Eden Prairie, library parking lot
    Overheard by a patron.

  • He Goes To Public School

    Date: 2010.07.07 | Category: all | Response: 2

    Mother: Wait, how would you know what Magic Hat is?
    Son: Why wouldn’t I?
    Mother: It’s beer! You’re TWELVE.

    MSP Airport
    Overheard by Atta boy.

  • It’s In The ‘Summer Reading’ Aisle

    Date: 2010.07.02 | Category: all | Response: 0

    8-year-old boy speaking to librarian: Do you have Glenn Beck ‘Arguing with Idiots’?

    Maple Grove, Public Library
    Overheard by God, help us all.

  • My Favorite Conflict Resolution

    Date: 2010.06.30 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Mom to 5-year-old son about his baby teethers: Stop putting those things all over your arms; you’re freaking people out.
    Son: You’re freaking ME out!
    Mom: We won’t be able to shop here again unless we bring these ladies some booze.

    Maple Grove, Little Feet Children’s Shoes
    Overheard by worker who would gladly accept that offer.

  • At Least He Knows It

    Date: 2010.06.06 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Kid, across the street:  Dad, can you hear me?
    Dad: NO!
    Kid: Dad, are you too drunk to do Kung Fu moves?
    Dad: I’m too drunk to shoot a motherfucker, I know that.

    North Minneapolis neighborhood
    Overheard by the Right to bear arms…and children?

  • It Requires A Mullet

    Date: 2010.06.02 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Dad, to son about a Playstation game: Do you know what the “E” stands for on the game?
    4 year old son: Everyone!
    Dad: Good job. What about “T?”
    4 year old son: Teen?
    Dad: Yep. How about “M?”
    4 year old son: (pauses) MacGruber!!!

    St. Paul – Highland Park, Garage sale
    Overheard by Still laughing at this creative little guy!

  • She Has A Bright Future As A Lawyer

    Date: 2010.06.02 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Five-year-old girl sitting directly behind her mom: Mommy. Mommy! Mommy!!!
    Mom: Honey, I can’t turn my head 180 degrees. I’m not an owl.
    Five-year-old girl: Mommy, knock knock.
    Mom: Who’s there?
    Five-year-old girl: Who.
    Mom: Who who?
    Five-year-old girl: I thought you said you weren’t an owl?

    Mound, Hockey Arena
    Overheard by You kiss your mother with that mouth?

  • The First President Under Our Beds

    Date: 2010.04.23 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Little boy, in a singsong voice: George Washington, George Washington, he’s gonna eat you. George Washington, George Washington.

    Minneapolis, Bus Route 16
    Overheard by wooden teeth must work well.