Posts Tagged ‘kids’
3 year old boy, as he almost falls: Oh, Jesus.
Nanny: Do you know who Jesus is?
3 year old boy: Yes, of course.
Nanny: What does he do?
3 year old boy: He delivers us from evil. Duh.
Nanny: What else does Jesus do?
3 year old boy: I have no idea!
Overheard by just another nanny.
Kid: Mom, do we have to be good in here?
Mom, trying to hurry: Yes. We always have to be good in the library.
Mom: Because good things happen to good people.
Mom, getting frustrated: Because that’s the way things work, honey.
Kid: Is there a God?
Mom, at wit’s end: I sure hope so!
St Paul, Merriam Park Library
Spoiled 6 yr old kid to frazzled mom: YOU’RE PRETTY MUCH RUINING MY LIFE!!
Overheard by Fellow shopper trying to get far far away.
5th/6th grade boy: I’ll sure be glad when the wine cellar is finished.
2nd boy: Me, too.
Maple Grove, Ski trip bus on way back from Trollhaugen
Overheard by Me too kid, me too.
Mom: Diego, take your little brother to the bathroom. (they start to walk away) And bring him BACK, too!
Minneapolis, Lake Street Target
Overheard by Specificity is Greatly Appreciated.
4-year old girl, pointing to package of men’s underwear: Mom, why is his pete so thick?
St. Louis Park, TJ Maxx
Overheard by B.
5 year old boy holding a pair of red, sequin shoes up to his Mom: I found some shoes that are perfect for you.
Mom, laughing: Well, the thing is…
5 year old boy, disappointed: Oh, you’re not that into fashion.
Overheard by sunidae.
Little boy looking at the sleeping lions at the zoo: They’re always dead.
St. Paul, Como Zoo
Overheard by I must resurrect every morning, then.
Little boy to mother in stall: Mom, what’s taking so long? Are ya poopin?
Mom: I’m still in here. I’ll be out in a second.
Boy: But are ya poopin?
Mom: I’ll be out in a second.
Boy: Yeah, but are ya poopin?
Minneapolis, Women’s restroom at Orchestra Hall
Overheard by someone just trying to wash their hands.
4-year-old boy sitting in cart putting on sunglasses: Mom, do these make me look bad ass?
Startled mother looking at pens: We don’t talk about that. Wait, where did you get that from??
Boy: Batman. Do these look bad ass?
Coon Rapids, Pen asile at Officemax
Overheard by Officemax Employee.
4-year-old boy with cat on leash: DAD!
Boy: Come here!
Minneapolis, Uptown, Dupont Ave
Overheard by Hmmm.
Little girl in dressing room: And today we are going to learn about how to put underwear on a Chinchilla!
Dressing room in Mall of America
Overheard by Dressing room attendant.
Girl holding long piece of paper: Will you hold this for me, Mommy?
Mom, with armful of books: Look how much I am carrying, and what you have. Do you think it’s fair to ask me? Are you the Queen of Sheba?
Eden Prairie, library parking lot
Overheard by a patron.
Mother: Wait, how would you know what Magic Hat is?
Son: Why wouldn’t I?
Mother: It’s beer! You’re TWELVE.
Overheard by Atta boy.
8-year-old boy speaking to librarian: Do you have Glenn Beck ‘Arguing with Idiots’?
Maple Grove, Public Library
Overheard by God, help us all.
Mom to 5-year-old son about his baby teethers: Stop putting those things all over your arms; you’re freaking people out.
Son: You’re freaking ME out!
Mom: We won’t be able to shop here again unless we bring these ladies some booze.
Maple Grove, Little Feet Children’s Shoes
Overheard by worker who would gladly accept that offer.
Kid, across the street: Dad, can you hear me?
Kid: Dad, are you too drunk to do Kung Fu moves?
Dad: I’m too drunk to shoot a motherfucker, I know that.
North Minneapolis neighborhood
Overheard by the Right to bear arms…and children?
Dad, to son about a Playstation game: Do you know what the “E” stands for on the game?
4 year old son: Everyone!
Dad: Good job. What about “T?”
4 year old son: Teen?
Dad: Yep. How about “M?”
4 year old son: (pauses) MacGruber!!!
St. Paul – Highland Park, Garage sale
Overheard by Still laughing at this creative little guy!
Five-year-old girl sitting directly behind her mom: Mommy. Mommy! Mommy!!!
Mom: Honey, I can’t turn my head 180 degrees. I’m not an owl.
Five-year-old girl: Mommy, knock knock.
Mom: Who’s there?
Five-year-old girl: Who.
Mom: Who who?
Five-year-old girl: I thought you said you weren’t an owl?
Mound, Hockey Arena
Overheard by You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Little boy, in a singsong voice: George Washington, George Washington, he’s gonna eat you. George Washington, George Washington.
Minneapolis, Bus Route 16
Overheard by wooden teeth must work well.