They Just Take So Long To Cook

Mom, to her kid: What do you want to eat?
Little kid: BUFFALO!
Mom: You mean buffet?
Little kid: NO. A BUFFALO!

Minneapolis, Franklin & Nicollet Bus Stop
Overheard by Malarchy.

The Following 12 Hours Are Less Magical

Kid having breakfast with his family: We went to this great place called the White Castle!

Minneapolis, Uptown Bruegger’s
Overheard by Kumar.

That Is What Vegas Is Known For

8-year-old-ish child during a screening of Percy Jackson: They get to go to Vegas?! I want to go to Vegas! They have all the good stores. In Hannah Montana they had the best shoes!

St. Paul, Highland Park Mann theater
Overheard by Chalalalalala.

It’s Worse Than Learning The Tooth Fairy Doesn’t Exist

Kid looking at ice sculptures of dinosaurs, angrily: DINOSAURS ARE EXTINCT!!!!!!!

St. Paul, Rice Park, Winter Carnival
Overheard by amused.

You Don’t Want To Miss That

Child #1: Are you gonna sleep on the plane?
Child #2: Yeah.
Child #1, very serious: I’ll wake you if we’re gonna die, OK? I’ll wake you if we’re gonna die.

MSP Airport, during takeoff on a plane bound for Florida
Overheard by Now Afraid to Fly.

And They Say I Should Stay Away From Kids

Little girl: Why do all the players have tattoos?
Adult: Because their parents didn’t love them.

South Minneapolis, Vikings playoff party
Overheard by Jeanne.

You’ll Have To Ask Him

Five-year-old girl to Mom: Is Valentine’s Day when the Easter Bunny comes?

Maple Grove, Target Valentine’s Section
Overheard by Dreaded girl.

Dad Is Such A Buzzkill

4 year old son, whining: But Dad…
Dad: No, no one is going to rob Target.

Apple Valley, Target
Overheard by Don’t think I don’t want to.

It’ll Be Her First Car Someday

Little girl: I want a candy bar.
Her mom: No.
Little girl: Fine, if I don’t get one I’ll shit in your car!

Apple Valley, Target

The Perfect Compliment To Cheerios

Mom: What do you want to drink?
Little boy, about 6 years old: Beer!

St. Louis Park, Panera Bread
Overheard by I want one too.

Now I Have To Start All Over

7 year old girl, singing: Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg…
Teenage girl: Oh really? I didn’t even know!
7 year old girl: Hey, HEY! Don’t sass me like that.

Minneapolis, bus stop near Tyler St.
Overheard by i see who wears the pants in that relationship.

For 15 Years

Boy around 3-years-old, pointing to Asian man speaking Chinese: Why is that funny man speaking Spanish?
Tired Mom: Let’s play the quiet game again.

IKEA
Overheard by Quiet game champ.

H1N1 Is Still Worse Than Crazy

Mom: Rub that [hand sanitizer] on your hands! Gimme some of that! Don’t touch the window! Don’t touch anything! Keep your hands together on your lap or else you’ll get the flu! Why you talkin’ to her? Do you know her? Why you talkin’ to a stranger? Don’t worry ’bout what your sister doin’, worry ’bout what you doin’!
Little Boy: You cwazy. You a good mom, but you cwazy.

4 bus, Uptown
Overheard by sxoidmal.

His First Session Will Be So Confusing

10-year-old boy #1: What is a social worker anyway?
10-year-old boy #2: It’s a gay person! Duh!

Edina, Super Target
Overheard by lol.

Now Do Popcorn!

3 year old, after another 3 year farted: It smells like hot dogs!!

Minneapolis, early child care center
Overheard by lmb.

“Refraction” And “Leprechaun” Are More Difficult To Pronounce

Six-year-old: Do you know where rainbows come from? (pause) THE MEXICANS!

Round Lake, Farm
Overheard by Steph.

Want To Talk About Kanye?

Grade-school girl #1: I think Michael Jackson looked better when he was young. You think he looks better now?
Grade-school girl #2: I don’t really want to talk about politics.

Minneapolis, Campus Connector
Overheard by QuoteRadar.

Is It Too Early To Think?

Child: Mommy, I want French fries!!!
Mom: It’s way too early in the morning for French fries, you’re getting a hot dog instead.

Lino Lakes, Hay Days Snowmobile Grass Drags
Overheard by Well, isn’t that a smart decision for breakfast..

The Problem Is She Can’t Do One Without The Other

Little girl talking to her mom: When I’m DANCING, I’m THINKING!

Minneapolis, MCAD
Overheard by Quietly observing, pretending to work.

Life Doesn’t Stop Just Because The Babysitter Is On Vacation

Six year old boy: Dad, I like hanging out with you. We should go to the bar more often.

St. Louis Park, the park