5 yr old boy at Victoria’s Secret: I don’t like it here.
Mom: But just look at all the friendly people.

Burnsville Center
Overheard by A “friendly” person.

6 year old boy: MOM! I did not come here to talk!

Watertown, Crow River Coffee Shop
Overheard by He’s got an agenda.

Happy little boy looking at dog collars: We should get a collar for our dog!!!
Kid’s dad, matter-of-factly: We don’t have a dog.

Coon Rapids, Old Navy
Overheard by poor kid.

Young Child Whining to Mother: Hey! This isn’t the moon!

Minneapolis, Downtown Target
Overheard by You’re going to want to take the first left.

Misbehaving child pointing at elderly man leaving, crutch and cane in hand: Mum, look. Look he can’t walk! Look he can’t walk!
Young Mother: (silence)

St Paul, DQ
Overheard by teach your kid some respect.

Young kid at Twins game, when the Twins were losing: Mom, start a ruckus!

Metrodome
Overheard by me.

Metrodome Announcer: Let’s Get It On!
7-year old kid sitting in the row behind me: That’s what she said! (a few minutes later) Man, I could really go for a cigarette.

Metrodome - Twins Game
Overheard by Wha?

Mom to 4 year old daughter: Don’t put makeup on your brother! (pause) Quit kissing your brother! (3 and 4 year old keep kissing and applying makeup)

Bloomington, Bike Shop
Overheard by Solidarity for oppressed youth…

Loud ghetto woman #1: Then he was all, “I took this nigga’s truck, I took this nigga’s crack,” and the nigga he was talkin’ to fuckin punched him in the face and was all, “Nigga that was my truck!  Pow!  Nigga that was my crack!  Pow!”
Ghetto woman #2: Nigga got a loud mouth.
Child: Mama, why people always stealin’ crack?  I don’t even like cracks.

Minneapolis, Penn & Golden Valley Road
Overheard by white girl from south minneapolis.

Toddler: Mom, I like that guy ’cause he has a cool head.
His mom: What guy?
Toddler: That guy.

Saint Paul, Lex-Ham
Overheard by the guy with a cool head.

Pigtailed 4 yr old girl to the couple in line behind her at the checkout: Do you know me? Do you?
Tired mother: Hush, honey. They don’t know you.
Pigtailed girl: Well, they should! Know me! Don’t forget me.

Eagan, Kohls
Overheard by that girl is going to be famous.

Child leaving school, to her mother: Ah, I’ve been waiting all day to pick my toe jam.

 St. Paul, An elementary school
Overheard by amused parent.

5 yr old Boy (during shot of the MOON): Oooh, look!  It’s the Earth!
Older Sister: Nooo. That’s the moon.
5 yr old Boy: Oh.  (under breath) That makes sense.

Minneapolis, Riverview Theatre-Hancock
Overheard by a child who weren’t left behind.

Little girl pointing to city hall: That’s where we pick up daddy!
Mom: No, it’s across the street at the jail.

 On the light rail passing by city hall
Overheard by Not good.

Grandma to grandson: Okay, lets take out your penis. There you go.
Grandson (screeches): I DONT HAVE TO POOP!
Grandma: It’s okay.
Grandson (still screeching): I DONT HAVE TO POOP
Grandma: You don’t have to.
Grandson: I DONT HAVE TO POOP!
Grandma: Okay, well wait here while Grandma goes to the bathroom.

MN State Fair bathroom
Overheard by i would like to poop in peace…

Doting, Nervous Mom: Honey! How was your first day of Kindergarten?
Blond little boy sounding disappointed: My teacher is really thrilled about safety.

Duluth, Pick up spot at school
Overheard by Does that mean scissor juggling is out?

Little Boy: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.
Mom: Oh no.  Let’s go.
Little Boy: But I want to go home poopy.
Mom: No, we’re going to have to go here.
Little Boy: But I want to go home poopy!
Mom: You can’t go home poopy, we’ll go in the target bathroom.
Little Boy: But I WANT to go home poopy!
Mom: You have to go poopy here.
Little Boy: BUT I WANT TO GO HOME POOPY!

Medina, Super Target
Overheard by say “home poopy” one more time.

Little boy to redneck dad: Thanks for taking us to the fair even though you’re broke.
Little girl to redneck dad: Flllaaatttt broke!
Redneck dad, embarrassingly: Yeah, yeah…

MN State Fair, Waiting to get on the 960 bus.
Overheard by That makes two of us…

Small Child: That ride looks fun, Daddy!
Dad: So what?

MN  State Fair
Overheard by I Hate kids too.

Serious 3-year old girl: Daddy, try not to step in the poop.
Mockingly serious dad: Yes, try not to step in the poop.

MN State Fair Animal Barn
Overheard by smiled anyway when I heard her, too.