He Really Wants More Than Six Months
Workout Delinquent: I have court tomorrow.
Friend: For what?
Workout Delinquent: That terroristic threat I made a while back.
Friend: Still with that?
Workout Delinquent: Yeah, I’m on probation for another 6 months. I really want to kill that fucking judge.
Friend: Bummer.
Lakeville, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by Is this locker bulletproof?
We’re Pretty Much Caught Up Now
Company VP: How’s your doggie?
Client Rep: The dead one or the live one?
Lakeville, The Office
Overheard by J Swiggity Q.
He Fixes Actual Notebooks
Phone system service guy: Is this… PAPER?!?
Twenty-something IT guy: Yeah, I’m old school.
Lakeville, The Office
Overheard by Wiggly Down Under.
The Urinal Is Always There To Listen
Man at the urinal, under his breath: God, I hate people. (pause) I hate myself.
Lakeville, The office restroom
Overheard by You alright out there, dawg?
Coworker to another: If you want, you guys could come over to my house and hang out while I take a shower.
Lakeville, The office
Overheard by Should I sit in the tub or on the toilet?
Rule #3: Don’t Get Them Wet After Midnight
Guy at the urinal: (rustling) AGAIN??? (seemingly endless urination sounds) Ohhhhhh that felt SO good!
Lakeville, The office mens room
Overheard by I sure hope he was peeing.
Pancakes Plus Will Save You
IT guy: When the nukes start flying, that’s where I’m going. Perkins.
Lakeville, The Office
Overheard by I’m going to Chipotle.
Better Cancel The Latest Supply Order
Account rep: We’re not here to determine temperatures of people’s pee.
Lakeville, The Office
Overheard by Jeremy Q. Afterglide.
Guy reacting to an error message on his computer: “The necessary data was deleted”?!? But it was NECESSARY!
Lakeville, The office
Overheard by Jeremy Q. Afterglide.
Unless That Was Your Plan
Male coworker: When I was growing up I wanted to be a male doctor.
Female coworker: Male doctor? You’re a guy, of COURSE you’d be a male doctor.
Male coworker: No, like doctor for males, like a urologist or a proctologist.
Female coworker: Yeah, it’s pretty bad when you’ve got something in your butt.
Lakeville, The Office
Overheard by Male computer programmer.
Muttering coworker (referring to Overheard in Minneapolis): I wish I could Overheard myself.
Lakeville, The Office
Overheard by King Skidz.
Customer Service Girl: I think I burned my face.
The Office in Lakeville
Overheard by You’re not sure?
Guy who brought back shots to the table at friend’s birthday party: Saddle up and take this shot!
Birthday Boy: Red-headed sluts! My wish did come true!
Lakeville, MN
Overheard by Birthday Boy’s girlfriend.
14 year old: Dude, have you seen the new Batman movie?
Friend: Yeah, on Friday.
14 year old: You loser! (pauses) Was it awesome?
Friend: Yes.
Lakeville Theatre
At Least He Gave You A Head Start
Call center girl to coworker who just hung up from a call with a client: Did he tell you he was going to come over here and rub one off?
The Office in Lakeville
Overheard by Keep him away from my potato salad.
Customer service rep: [apparently taking a wrong number call] Sorry, we don’t have a Dick.
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Loose Knuckle Chucky.
There Is A Clear Theme Today
Girl in cubicle: I’ve been rubbing that thing all day. I’m afraid I’m going to rub a hole in it!
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Cupcake Helper Man.
And I Need A Mental Gynecologist
Coworker to self: I need an emotional chiropractor.

The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Needs an emotional cracking himself.
The Mob Is Tough In NoDak
Tall man on the phone: Hi, my name is David*, and I’m trying to get some information. I have a school in North Dakota that puts students in hospitals…

The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Doesn’t remember the schools in ND being that rough.
Try To Get The Real Chicken Kind
Snaggletooth worker calling her kid at home: Now before you go, I want you to eat something… No, something HEALTHY. Like chicken nuggets.

The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Rock Peckhard.