Posts Tagged ‘lakeville’
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I Say “Fail” A Lot
Sassy momma (out of the blue): I say “dude” a lot!
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by I say “the” a lot. -
You Have To Try Harder To Be Cool
Middle-Aged Neighbor #1: I love Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Middle-Aged Neighbor #2: Yeah, great music. (Long Pause) It’s too bad he died in that plane crash.
Middle-Aged Neighbor #1: You mean that they died in a plane crash. it was a band, not a single person.
Middle-Aged Neighbor #2: You’re shittin’ me?
Lakeville neighborhood block party -
It Doesn’t Get More Minnesotan Than This
Sassy momma: I’m just excited about everybody and seeing everybody and the fellowship and beverages.
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by I get excited about fellowship and beverages too. -
Ooh, I’m Sorry But We’re Going To Have To Let You Go…
Customer service guy: As long as I’m touching it, can you just put it in my mouth? I need to know what it tastes like.
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Jonny Cakecutter. -
I Think Mommy Should Come Home From Her Business Trip
Dad to his toddler in the shopping cart: Alright, kiddo, Daddy needs some LOTION! What do you think about that?
Lakeville Target
Overheard by Jeremy Q Afterglide. -
Just Like A Kick To The Face
4 People standing in the middle of the aisle in Fleet Farm: Ever see that show, DOG The Bounty Hunter? Yeah, it’s pretty good.
Lakeville Fleet Farm
Overheard by Chris: No, No it’s not very good. Its like TV for Bush fans. -
Tomorrow, In The Company Phone Records…
Sassy momma hooting and hollering at 120 dB about a joke text her brother sent her that tricked her into calling a gay sex chat line: HOOO! [laughing, shrieking, and carrying on at length] …I’m gonna KILL him! I’m just gonna GET him! Oh!! Oh, Cynthia* Oh — shh shhh. I’m gonna forward [the joke text] to Ted*.
Ted: [from several cubicles away] Uh, yeah, that’s ok. I kind of overheard what happened.
Exasperated bystander: KIND OF overheard?!? Dude, I think they heard her on the other side of the damned building!
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by I think my liver heard her. -
Was Mom A Librarian?
Skanky 15 or 16 year old girl trying to look sexy talking to 2 older boys: Dude, seriously. I learned to pole dance when I was like 6 years old! My mom’s best friend worked at Hooters.
Lakeville McDonalds
Overheard by Wow, our future is bright! -
Pass To Where?
Sniffing coworker: What is that smell?
Sassy mamma: It’s Vick’s VapoRub.
Sniffing coworker: Why are you using it?
Sassy mamma: It opens up my nasal pass!
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Preferable to your anal pass(?) -
Let The Grownups Talk, Dear.
Puzzled white guy in response to overhearing coworkers’ in-depth conversation about the Jena 6: What’s a noose?
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by I’ll bet he got an ‘A’ in history. -
I Just Lost IQ Points.
Sassy momma: I feel like such a flippin’ idiot!
Coworker: Why’s that?
Sassy momma: Because Jane* just asked me the smartest question in America.
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by There are no stupid questions, only stupid people. -
Uh, YEAH!
Sassy Momma breaking the dead silence from her cubicle: Y’all want some Teddy Grahams?
the office in Lakeville
Overheard by Wish She’d Offered Me Some Too. -
That Should Be On The Tab Wikipedia Page.
Curly: Ever had Tab before?
Grizzly: No, what is it?
Curly: It’s diet coke before diet coke was diet coke.
Grizzly: How’s it taste?
Curly: Like a big gulp of dammit.
IT Department in an office in Lakeville
Overheard by RonnyGunz. -
No, But I Know You Should Stop Talking Now.
Sassy momma on the phone: I really don’t know what to say, know what I’m saying? But I can’t say anything yet, know what I’m saying?
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Um… no, I don’t know what you’re saying. -
Always Sounds Better In Your Head, Doesn’t It?
Female coworker commenting on the ease of taking pills: …’cause I have a lot of experience swallowing hard things.
the lakeville caribou
Overheard by can’t believe she said that out loud. -
Couldn’t It Just Be, Oh I Don’t Know, Bologna?
Sassy mama: Did you just fart?
Offended coworker: No!
Sassy mama: Then why do I smell bologna up in here?
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by My farts smell like deli ham. -
Does Anything Exist North Of Burnsville?
Office Hen Betty (talking about her upcoming trip to Duluth from Owatonna): How am I going to get through the cities with that 35W bridge down?
Office Hen Wilma: Oh, whatever you do, DO NOT take 280! The traffic is terrible.
Office Hen Betty: Really? Have you driven on it?
Office Hen Wilma: No, but that’s the main detour. I just assume it’s busy.
Office Hen Betty: Well, how will I get through?
Office Hen Thelma: I dunno, girl. 94?
Exasperated Male Coworker: Just take 35E!!!
Office Hen Betty: You can do that?
The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Smooth G. -
Um…
Asian teenage boy at Target: I wish my girlfriend had eyelids.
Lakeville Super Target
Overheard by Wellll…. your kids probably won’t either. -
Let It Out, Honey! Feel The Music!
Large, sassy mama to her coworker whose cell is blowing up: GIRRRRRLLL, yo’ cell phone ringah make me wanna DANCE!
the office in Lakeville
Overheard by My Ringer Sounds Like a Phone Ringing. -
Of All The Reasons To Hate American Idol, That’s The Dumbest.
Suburban woman discussing TV with a variety of other Suburban women: I’m getting fed up with American Idol, it’s just becoming so commercialized.
Lakeville Curves
Overheard by As opposed when?
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