Posts Tagged ‘library’
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There’s One Way To Find Out
Kid: Mom, do we have to be good in here?
Mom, trying to hurry: Yes. We always have to be good in the library.
Kid: Why?
Mom: Because good things happen to good people.
Kid: Why?
Mom, getting frustrated: Because that’s the way things work, honey.
Kid: Is there a God?
Mom, at wit’s end: I sure hope so!St Paul, Merriam Park Library
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They’ll Be Too Weak To Fight For Long
Library employee, while standing outside during a fire drill: There’s going to be a riot. We’re disrupting their porn intake for the day.
Minneapolis, Central Library
Overheard by a patron. -
As A Matter Of Fact…
Girl holding long piece of paper: Will you hold this for me, Mommy?
Mom, with armful of books: Look how much I am carrying, and what you have. Do you think it’s fair to ask me? Are you the Queen of Sheba?Eden Prairie, library parking lot
Overheard by a patron. -
It’s In The ‘Summer Reading’ Aisle
8-year-old boy speaking to librarian: Do you have Glenn Beck ‘Arguing with Idiots’?
Maple Grove, Public Library
Overheard by God, help us all. -
So, Could I Have It Back?
Guy on cellphone: Man. It’s a drought out here. I haven’t been able to find weed anywhere. The stuff I got I sold to you.
Minneapolis, Library
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Or You Could Ride It
Scruffy looking guy: I’m going to go to Canada. I’ll walk across with a moose.
Minneapolis, Library
Overheard by one way to avoid customs. -
He Thinks They’re Rewards
College student talking about his roommate: I keep trying to convince him to study but he keeps eating all the pies I buy.
Minneapolis, a level of the library
Overheard by Ben. -
She Could Have Used That Advice Months Ago
Late teen/early twenty something female: He said I could fight with her, just not in front of a cop. My parole officer is cool like that.
Minneapolis, Library
Overheard by Use your Public Libraries! -
Make Up Your Mind
Teenage girl to other teenage girl: Girl, I’m gonna take you to a psychiatrist. You need Jesus to help you with that.
Minneapolis, Downtown Library
Overheard by Shhh. -
And Who Can Fault Her?
Annoying chick: When she unfriended me on Facebook, that meant war. So, we ALL have to unfriend her on Facebook, right guys?
Small girl on Macbook (checking her Facebook): I’m not friends with her on Facebook anymore, I guess. But you did call her a “sinning slut” when she was smoking weed.
Annoying chick: She must have unfriended you, too! What a bitch!!
Tall guy: Hey you guys, she can hear us, she’s right over there.Minneapolis, Walter Library
Overheard by sucks for you. -
YOUR Day?
Guy: What are you doing Thursday?
Female: I have C-section planned.
Guy: Can’t you just push it out?
Female: No, because I might die or he might die.
Guy: Now why did you have to ruin my day like that?
Female: Cause you asked.Minneapolis, downtown public library
Overheard by an awkward elevator ride. -
But Books Cannot Read Your Mind
Woman who has never touched a computer before: I need some information on the behavior of cats. Can you help me find that on computer?
Librarian: (pulls up Google)
Crazy woman: NO! Not Google. They follow you everywhere and know everything about you! I won’t go there!
Librarian: This is where to search for information online. Or there are books I can get you.
Crazy woman: I’m looking for information.
Librarian: Books have information too.Minneapolis, Downtown Public library
Overheard by People at the library are awesome. -
Be Nicer To St Paul
Woman on phone: I am wondering about the teaching position for low-income students. (pause) And where is it located? (pause) So you mean, I don’t have to work in the ghetto?
Minneapolis, Augsburg Library
Overheard by I bet she thinks Franklin Ave is a ghetto. -
She Knows It Won’t Get You Out Of Her Basement
Skinny, unshaven, big-haired hipster with a skateboard: My mom is supposed be booking my next gig for me next week; she’s kinda flakin’ on me.
Minneapolis, Computers at the downtown public library
Overheard by A snob at a nearby computer. -
When You Get It Right
Impassioned college girl: When will the gods stop punishing me for cutting my own bangs?!
Duluth, library bathroom
Overheard by This too shall pass? -
That Too
Man: I’m too old for overnight adventures.
Woman: You’re too married.The Loft
Overheard by Garage girl #1. -
It’s A Classic Look That Never Goes Out Of Style
Dude: So I think I should just take my shirt off and wear my beater.
Outside of the Library
Overheard by: Dan H -
I Hope That’s Literal
Poet: I’m sorry, he’s busy with his annual autopsy.
The Loft
Overheard by Garage girl #1. -
It’ll Be A Real Laugh Riot When You Look It Up
Young blonde woman looking for a book: Is that how the library organizes the books, the Dewey Decimal System?
Woman’s boyfriend: No, that’s about decimals and stuff.
Blonde woman: Oh. Then why’d I think that?
Boyfriend (laughing): I don’t know… that’s pretty funny though.Roseville Library
Overheard by Poor Dewey… -
It’s Not The Shining.
8 year old boy trying to convince caretaker to take The Fellowship of the Ring video out of the library: They don’t swear, they just shoot each other with arrows!
Linden Hills library
Overheard by habitue.
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