Clerk greeting incoming customer: How you doin?
Customer: I’m lovin’ you, baby, that’s why I’m here.

Minneapolis, Union Liquors
Overheard by I love this store, always an adventure.

Liquor store clerk: You want a bag for that?
Liquor store patron with bottle of vodka: Nah, I’ll drink it in the car.

Robbinsdale, RC Liquors
Overheard by He was kidding… right?

Slightly effiminate black man on his cell phone: Uh-uh child. If you’re pregnant, that ain’t my child. You gots to talk to my brother.

Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors

Liquor store customer, loudly: Where you got them cans of Hurricane at?
Liquor store clerk: We don’t sell cans of Hurricane.
Liquor store customer, slightly quieter: Where you got them bottles of Hurricane at?
Liquor store clerk: Those are right over there. 

Chicago-Lake Liquors, noon
Overheard by Stop, you’re making me thirsty.

Guy at the counter buying lottery tickets: Can I get two Powerballs?
Crazy woman standing next to him in line: If you win, you have to buy me a windmill.

Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
Overheard by It might not be long, but it’s got the circumfrence of a soup can.

Skinny Asian kid buying a 24pk of Keystone Light to his friend: I dunno man… I’ve never played beer pong against a black dude before.

Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors

Large black man with an afro and gold teeth that always talks about ‘Alice in Chains’: That girl said I smell like shit.  I said, fuck you, at least I got money.

Zipps Liquors
Overheard by Honestly, Alice in Chains really isn’t that good.

Liquor Store Clerk: That’ll be $18.52.
Old Drunk: $18.52. That makes me think of the old rhyme “In 1852 Columbus sailed the ocean blue.”
Liquor Store Clerk: I don’t know if that’s right. Wasn’t it 1752?
Old Drunk: Could be. (turns to man behind him in line) Do you know what we’re talking about?
Other man: Columbus? Yeah, I think it was 1492 you’re thinking of.
Old Drunk: Really? Well at least I had the one and the two right…

Liquor Store
Overheard by D.R.B.