Posts Tagged ‘liquor store’
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Especially If It’s Free
Young lady cashier: Oh man, it’s going to be really hard to steal free WiFi during this storm.
Minneapolis, Hennepin Lake Liquor, Uptown
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Then We Can Justify A Cover Charge
Douchebag #1 to Douchebag #2: We need to get something chuggable because that’s what she does.
Minneapolis, Zipps Liquor
Overheard by Ed. -
You Can’t Hold Something Like That Back
Man: Oh, come on, let me hear your gay cat voice!
Woman: No!St Louis Park, Knollwood Liquor
Overheard by horseville. -
Then I’m Leaving!
Overweight man in his early 50′s: They don’t got shit for malt liquor.
Minneapolis, Lake Street Liquor
Overheard by are you talking to ME? -
What Year Is It Now?
Bearded Man: For what it’s worth, I loved that New Radicals CD. In 1999, I smoked crack to that CD.
Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
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Can’t Top That
Drunk dude wearing aviatiors and a dirty PBR stocking hat: Give me an end of July-sittin’-in-a-trunk-warm Budweiser. That’s heaven.
Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
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“Toy Aisle” Means Different Things To Adults
Kindergarten-ish girl (reading sign): S-U-R-D-Y-K-apostrophe-S. What does that spell?
Parent: Surdyk’s!
Girl (yelling): UGH I HATE THIS STORE!!Minneapolis, Surdyk’s
Overheard by old enough to appreciate liquor, wine, and cheese. -
14 Year Old Boys Just Crowned Him King
Scruffly, unkempt, bearded cashier being offered birthday cake: I don’t like cake nearly as much as I like boners.
Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
Overheard by I got something you’ll like. -
And I’ve Been Cryogenically Frozen Since 1973
Clerk: We can’t sell you that alcohol without ID.
Customer: It’s okay. I’m 18!Minneapolis, a Liquor Store
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You Can Love Me From Afar
Clerk greeting incoming customer: How you doin?
Customer: I’m lovin’ you, baby, that’s why I’m here.Minneapolis, Union Liquors
Overheard by I love this store, always an adventure. -
That’s How We Multitask
Liquor store clerk: You want a bag for that?
Liquor store patron with bottle of vodka: Nah, I’ll drink it in the car.Robbinsdale, RC Liquors
Overheard by He was kidding… right? -
He Said To Talk To You
Slightly effiminate black man on his cell phone: Uh-uh child. If you’re pregnant, that ain’t my child. You gots to talk to my brother.
Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
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It’s All In The Details
Liquor store customer, loudly: Where you got them cans of Hurricane at?
Liquor store clerk: We don’t sell cans of Hurricane.
Liquor store customer, slightly quieter: Where you got them bottles of Hurricane at?
Liquor store clerk: Those are right over there.Chicago-Lake Liquors, noon
Overheard by Stop, you’re making me thirsty. -
Not Until I Buy One For Myself
Guy at the counter buying lottery tickets: Can I get two Powerballs?
Crazy woman standing next to him in line: If you win, you have to buy me a windmill.Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
Overheard by It might not be long, but it’s got the circumfrence of a soup can. -
You Don’t Know What You’re Missing
Skinny Asian kid buying a 24pk of Keystone Light to his friend: I dunno man… I’ve never played beer pong against a black dude before.
Minneapolis, Zipp’s Liquors
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To Buy Soap?
Large black man with an afro and gold teeth that always talks about ‘Alice in Chains’: That girl said I smell like shit. I said, fuck you, at least I got money.
Zipps Liquors
Overheard by Honestly, Alice in Chains really isn’t that good. -
The Two Easiest Numbers
Liquor Store Clerk: That’ll be $18.52.
Old Drunk: $18.52. That makes me think of the old rhyme “In 1852 Columbus sailed the ocean blue.”
Liquor Store Clerk: I don’t know if that’s right. Wasn’t it 1752?
Old Drunk: Could be. (turns to man behind him in line) Do you know what we’re talking about?
Other man: Columbus? Yeah, I think it was 1492 you’re thinking of.
Old Drunk: Really? Well at least I had the one and the two right…

Liquor Store
Overheard by D.R.B.




