Man on cell phone talking to a woman he contacted while incarcerated: Every woman I’ve had a child with I’ve been in a relationship with.

Lightrail to MOA
Overheard by Entertained.

Dude: I heard they’re gonna put Light Rail in St. Paul.
Chick: What’s that?
Dude: Light rail? We’re riding it right now!
Chick: I know that! [long pause] What’s St. Paul?
Dude: …

Midtown Station
Overheard by Really?

Dad to eight-year-old daughter: When we get to the Dome, do you want nachos?
Girl: Yeah!
Dad: I want some nachos and some BEERS.
Girl: I think I’ll just have soda.

Northbound light rail
Overheard by Twins fan.

Scandalized teen girl complaining about friend: How hard is it to, like, not have sex over the weekend when you’re doing mock trial?

Northbound light rail, near 46th St. Station
Overheard by Like, priorities, guys.

Ghetto Fabulous Girl approaching two other Urban Youth:  Who are you?
Urban Youth:  I’m Strawberry, this is Nay-Nay.
Ghetto Fabulous Girl:  What are you doing here?
Strawberry (motioning to Nay-Nay):  She shitted herself so she had to go change.
(Nay-Nay stands, mouth agape)
Strawberry:  What?  Girls shit.

Northbound Light Rail
Overheard by Smabbott.

Yappy Blonde:  Why would a beer bong smell like pot?

Light Rail from MOA
Overheard by I can’t even imagine…

Effete young man #1: He had HIV, not AIDS.
Effete young man #2: Aren’t HIV and AIDS the same thing?
Effete young man #1: No.
Effete young man #2: But aren’t they, like, related?
Effete young man #1: No! You can’t get AIDS if you take care of your body. [coughs in friend's face] You’re infected now!
Effete young man #2: How do you know?
Effete young man #1: I poked you and now you’re infected!

Northbound light rail, between terminals
Overheard by Be safe, boys.

Gangster Looking Guy talking on cell phone: Yo, you know who I just saw? Remember that girl you hit in the bathroom? Yeah I just saw that bitch.

38th Street Train Station
Overheard by The bathroom?

Patron getting on lightrail dressed in Twins garb, obviously on the way to the Twins game with his family: I wonder which train I’m supposed to get on, I hope I don’t get on the wrong one…

46th Street Lightrail station
Overheard by JoJoC.

Guy yelling into cell phone: You know there ain’t no one else. All them other bitches, I don’t talk to them any more. I don’t want no other bitches, just you. I’m with you all the motherfuckin’ time. I ain’t got time to be with no other bitches. Why we gotta fight? Why can’t we just be cool? Come on, baby.

Light rail train all the way from the 46th Street station to the Warehouse District.
Overheard by someone who’s glad to see that romance isn’t dead.

Thugette: …and they always be undressin’ me with they eyes.
Thug: Bitch, please. It ain’t “they eyes.” It’s “their eyes.”

Northbound on the lightrail

Man on the way to the airport: So one day my cousin finds this garage opener in his [her husband's] car that isn’t theirs. She freaks out. They live in a small town so she spends three hours trying to get a door to open. Finally she gets one, and sure enough, he’s up there with some white girl.

corner of the lightrail
Overheard by girl in the other corner.

Boyfriend: So, do you think anybody ever actually threw out the baby with the bath water?
Girlfriend: Yup.
Boyfriend: Really? I mean, how could you throw out a baby with bath water?
Girlfriend: I don’t know. Maybe by accident. You know, back in the old days people gave baths to all their kids using the same water. They didn’t throw out the water between baths, and the baby was last. That’s where the expression comes from, y’know.
Boyfriend: But you seriously think that someone threw out a baby with the bath water? I don’t.
Girlfriend: You don’t think that through the entire history of mankind no one — not one person — threw out the baby with bathwater? Even accidentally?
Boyfriend: Hmmm… I don’t know. How much do you think those tubs weighed, anyway. I mean, they had to be pretty heavy, right?
Girlfriend: I suppose, but it had to happen. How else would they come up with the expression?
Boyfriend: Well, you know the expression ‘Happy as a two-tailed dog?” Well, you don’t need to see a two-tailed dog in order to come up with the expression.
Girlfriend: Well, I’m just saying. Things were different back then. We don’t take baths like that anymore.

Light rail heading south, near Lake Street station.
Overheard by J-boy.

Likely mentally-challenged, heavily-bearded man: If I can do time in Stillwater, I can do time in a lightrail.

LRT, northbound, near DTE station
Overheard by The Freets.

After long stretch of silence, woman to man: I won’t make you go to therapy if you let me get a kitty.

Nicollet light rail station
Overheard by Oo, I want a kitty.

Girl on train #1: I brought $500 with me but when I exchanged it I only got 250. I figured it had to last me since they took half my money. But then I found out it cost 40 pence to pee.
Girl on train #2: No way!
Girl on train #1: The thing is, what you’ve gotta understand about this place is that a pair of shoes cost like 160 pounds.
Girl on train #2: So that’s like $160?
Girl on train #1: Yeah, wait. No. It’s divided in half.
Girl on train #2: Oh, so they cost $80. That’s nuts!

Lightrail
Overheard by Sophie Z.

Sorority girl #1: Ohmigod, I am sooo excited for Cancun… except, remember when we went last year and stayed at that really shady motel?
Sorority girl #2: Yeah, that was such a creepy place. Like when that guy was dragging that black smelly garbage bag down the hall leaving a trail of blood. I wonder what was in the bag…

On the lightrail heading to the airport
Overheard by What was in that bag?

Leather jacket guy: My little finger on my foot, the skin is just about falling off, what do you call that?
Baseball cap guy: Your toe?

Northbound Light Rail
Overheard by Head, shoulders, knees, and fingers?

Twenty something hipster kid talking loudly on his cell phone: “Uhhh, yeah man… you kidding me? I fuckin’ love cartoons man. Alright, you might be a little young to remember this, but remember Captain Planet? Dude thats my favorite, where he goes around saving the world from corporate America and shit! It’s a classic.

on the light rail heading downtown
Overheard by old and jaded.

Guy on cell phone: Yeah, if you want to pull it out, go ahead. Then you can stick that thing in it and see if it’s hot enough.

Light Rail train
Overheard by out of context, I hope.