Posts Tagged ‘LRT’
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Yeah, I Don’t Think You Hit Her Hard Enough
Gangster Looking Guy talking on cell phone: Yo, you know who I just saw? Remember that girl you hit in the bathroom? Yeah I just saw that bitch.
38th Street Train Station
Overheard by The bathroom? -
So, Here’s To Hoping!
Patron getting on lightrail dressed in Twins garb, obviously on the way to the Twins game with his family: I wonder which train I’m supposed to get on, I hope I don’t get on the wrong one…
46th Street Lightrail station
Overheard by JoJoC. -
This Should Be In A Hallmark Card
Guy yelling into cell phone: You know there ain’t no one else. All them other bitches, I don’t talk to them any more. I don’t want no other bitches, just you. I’m with you all the motherfuckin’ time. I ain’t got time to be with no other bitches. Why we gotta fight? Why can’t we just be cool? Come on, baby.
Light rail train all the way from the 46th Street station to the Warehouse District.
Overheard by someone who’s glad to see that romance isn’t dead. -
Is That What It’s Like To Be Served?
Thugette: …and they always be undressin’ me with they eyes.
Thug: Bitch, please. It ain’t “they eyes.” It’s “their eyes.”
Northbound on the lightrail -
Sure Enough
Man on the way to the airport: So one day my cousin finds this garage opener in his [her husband's] car that isn’t theirs. She freaks out. They live in a small town so she spends three hours trying to get a door to open. Finally she gets one, and sure enough, he’s up there with some white girl.
corner of the lightrail
Overheard by girl in the other corner. -
The Real Question Is: Why Is A Two Tailed Dog Happy?
Boyfriend: So, do you think anybody ever actually threw out the baby with the bath water?
Girlfriend: Yup.
Boyfriend: Really? I mean, how could you throw out a baby with bath water?
Girlfriend: I don’t know. Maybe by accident. You know, back in the old days people gave baths to all their kids using the same water. They didn’t throw out the water between baths, and the baby was last. That’s where the expression comes from, y’know.
Boyfriend: But you seriously think that someone threw out a baby with the bath water? I don’t.
Girlfriend: You don’t think that through the entire history of mankind no one — not one person — threw out the baby with bathwater? Even accidentally?
Boyfriend: Hmmm… I don’t know. How much do you think those tubs weighed, anyway. I mean, they had to be pretty heavy, right?
Girlfriend: I suppose, but it had to happen. How else would they come up with the expression?
Boyfriend: Well, you know the expression ‘Happy as a two-tailed dog?” Well, you don’t need to see a two-tailed dog in order to come up with the expression.
Girlfriend: Well, I’m just saying. Things were different back then. We don’t take baths like that anymore.
Light rail heading south, near Lake Street station.
Overheard by J-boy. -
That Should Be A Prerequisite For Riding The Bus
Likely mentally-challenged, heavily-bearded man: If I can do time in Stillwater, I can do time in a lightrail.
LRT, northbound, near DTE station
Overheard by The Freets. -
Kitties Make Bad Marriages Tolerable
After long stretch of silence, woman to man: I won’t make you go to therapy if you let me get a kitty.
Nicollet light rail station
Overheard by Oo, I want a kitty. -
It Would Be If It Were True
Girl on train #1: I brought $500 with me but when I exchanged it I only got 250. I figured it had to last me since they took half my money. But then I found out it cost 40 pence to pee.
Girl on train #2: No way!
Girl on train #1: The thing is, what you’ve gotta understand about this place is that a pair of shoes cost like 160 pounds.
Girl on train #2: So that’s like $160?
Girl on train #1: Yeah, wait. No. It’s divided in half.
Girl on train #2: Oh, so they cost $80. That’s nuts!
Lightrail
Overheard by Sophie Z. -
But The Rates Were Fantastic.
Sorority girl #1: Ohmigod, I am sooo excited for Cancun… except, remember when we went last year and stayed at that really shady motel?
Sorority girl #2: Yeah, that was such a creepy place. Like when that guy was dragging that black smelly garbage bag down the hall leaving a trail of blood. I wonder what was in the bag…
On the lightrail heading to the airport
Overheard by What was in that bag? -
A Flesh Eating Virus.
Leather jacket guy: My little finger on my foot, the skin is just about falling off, what do you call that?
Baseball cap guy: Your toe?
Northbound Light Rail
Overheard by Head, shoulders, knees, and fingers? -
Classic Like Power Rangers.
Twenty something hipster kid talking loudly on his cell phone: “Uhhh, yeah man… you kidding me? I fuckin’ love cartoons man. Alright, you might be a little young to remember this, but remember Captain Planet? Dude thats my favorite, where he goes around saving the world from corporate America and shit! It’s a classic.
on the light rail heading downtown
Overheard by old and jaded. -
Don’t Look At Me Like That. You Laughed.
Guy on cell phone: Yeah, if you want to pull it out, go ahead. Then you can stick that thing in it and see if it’s hot enough.
Light Rail train
Overheard by out of context, I hope. -
Proving Again That The Internet Improves Lives.
Jock #1 to friend he got on the same light-rail car with: Fancy to see you here!
Jock #2: (guffaws) Where did you hear that from?
Jock #1: Oh, I Googled it.
metrodome station
Overheard by it was pretty fancy. -
Order One For Me, Too.
Little boy going downtown on the Light Rail with his father: I’m going to need a drink when we get there.
50th St. Station
Overheard by Smart Kid. -
Beer Limit = Good Idea.
Slightly Drunk 40ish year old man with family: (singing) Take me out to the ball game, Take me out with the crowd, buy me some penis (giggle) and cracker jack… (more giggling)
Wife: Your kids are going to run away if you keep singing that.
After the Twins Game, 28th Avenue Lightrail Station
Overheard by Thinks his kids should run away. -
Let’s Take Public Transporation!
Twenty-something girl talking loudly into her cell phone: So they said it’s not ringworm — it’s some kind of skin virus that LOOKS like ringworm. And they said I’m really lucky because so far it’s only on my back and stomach, not, like, my whole body and face. The tests come back on Friday, but they said it’s probably really contagious. I just hope it goes away before my trip to Miami!
Hiawatha Light Rail Line
Overheard by sooooo glad I didn’t sit next to her. -
It’s Part Of The Gift Basket.
Sheltered suburban child who clearly had never been downtown before: Hey, lookit! A poor man playing the guitar! I wonder how he got the guitar? …if he’s poor.
on the light rail in front of the Metrodome -
It Means Never Stop Going To College.
Frat guy: Dude, this ticket expires at 23:49, ha ha I don’t even know what time that is!
Sororitard: I know, me either! 23:49? What the hell does that mean?
LR Downtown/East Metrodome station
Overheard by LR Downtown/East Metrodome station. -
These Days, You Don’t Even Need That.
Girl: She got so much money. I just don’t know where she gets it all. She wants her some kids so bad! You know that lil’ mama’s got everything in her house for a baby but the crib.
Dude #1: For real?
Girl: Yeah, you know she’s got everything for a baby but the crib. And the stroller. The stroller and the crib.
Dude #2: …and some man.
LR, Downtown East/Metrodome Station
Overheard by think before you procreate, please.
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