Young Boy: Owww, you’re hurting me!
Older Sister pulling boy by wrist: Maybe you should drink more milk!

Maplewood, School Conferences
Overheard by An amused teacher.

Ditzy girl: Mom, they make this wonderbra in the pattern of my life.

Maplewood, Mall

Red Neck #1: Even if you’re at the back you’re only about 125 feet from the stage.
Red Neck #2: Wow! Imagine how close you’d be if you were in the front row!

Maplewood, 5-8 bar & Grill
Overheard by Bartender’s ears.

Bridesmaid #1: Ugh, why does the ice always stick to the bottom of my glass?
Bridesmaid #2: Maybe because it’s heavier than air?

Maplewood wedding

College-age guy: Dude, I feel like I’m totally out of gas.
Buddy: Do you mean personal gas?

Half-Price Books, Maplewood
Overheard by Khi.

Older Female Bank Employee on Phone: They probably won’t care that it was a keying error, they’ll likely just say ‘tough crunchies’.

TCF Bank, Maplewood
Overheard by I don’t think anyone saying that is likely.

Emo guy in tight pants: He’s totally gay. Like, really gay. He wears girls pants. I mean, I know these *look* like girls’ pants, but they’re not.

The Rock, Maplewood
Overheard by mine are.

Middle aged man: I haven’t measured a buffalo lately.

At the table next to mine in the 3M corporate cafeteria Maplewood
Overheard by Mmmm buffalo.

Local to non-local: Welcome to Minnesota! The land of… many things.

Green Mill @ Country Inn in Maplewood
Overheard by smooth d.

Loiterer #1 at base of unmoving escalator: Crap! It’s not working!
Loiterer #2: Damn it! How we gonna get upstairs then?

Maplewood Mall
Overheard by Praying these guys won’t reproduce.

Little girl holding up a pair of large hoop earrings: Mom, can I get these?
Mom: No, your dad will kill me.
Little girl: No, he can’t because of the restraining order, remember?
Mom: Oh yeah, you’re right.

Claire’s - Maplewood Mall
Overheard by Bess.