Young boy at HS football championship game: Grandma brought her knife to the game, but it’s only to cut pizza.

Minneapolis, Metrodome
Overheard by Wondering what she does with a gun.

Very drunk Iowa fan in line to order another beer: Sometimes my poop is green.

Metrodome, Iowa/Minnesota game
Overheard by I’m an Iowa fan too and my poop is normal.

Freshman girl: You know, like when we do that chant, “M-I-N-N-E-S-O-N-A?” It’s great!

Metrodome during Gophers/Wildcats game
Overheard by You couldn’t just read your shirt?

Cute girl, about José Guillén: Send him to the Guillentine!
Tall boyfriend: Good one.

Metrodome - Twins-Royals game
Overheard by They were making fun of player’s names all afternoon.

Girl (who kept saying “fail!” while watching the wave get started) as the wave closes in on our section: Oh my god! Here comes another wave. It’s the epitome of fail!

The Dome for the Twins final reg season game against the Royals
Overheard by Please don’t use “fail” as the noun in a prepositional phrase in casual conversation again.

Male friend to a female friend: Yeah, I’ve found that when they start to get out of hand you just put a little whiskey on the nipple.

Metrodome
Overheard by Context, please?!

Young kid at Twins game, when the Twins were losing: Mom, start a ruckus!

Metrodome
Overheard by me.

Metrodome Announcer: Let’s Get It On!
7-year old kid sitting in the row behind me: That’s what she said! (a few minutes later) Man, I could really go for a cigarette.

Metrodome - Twins Game
Overheard by Wha?

A pessimistic 50-year old man, after the first pitch of the game by Scott Baker was called a ball: Shit, this game is over.

Minneapolis, Metrodome, section 136
Overheard by never mind the subsequent 250 pitches

Girl #1: Are you in here?
Girl #2: Yeah, I’m over here, and guess what? Good news!
Girl #1: You’re all good?
Girl #2: Yeah!

Women’s restroom during Vikings game
Overheard by Now we all know the good news.

Stepford wife to husband: Kirby Puckett?  Isn’t he in jail now?
Irritated husband: HE’S DEAD.

Twins game, Metrodome
Overheard by Yikes.

Boy, about man in Joe Montana jersey: Why is that guy wearing a Hannah Montana jersey?

Metrodome
Overheard by my jersey is pink.

Male, triumphantly: I’m gonna eat 20 dome dogs!

Walking into Twins game
Overheard by moofia.

Drunk Guy: I would totally crawl inside her like a ton ton on planet Hoth!

Twins Game
Overheard by Bewildered friend.

Drunk over-21 girl poking teenager’s shoulder: How old are you? (friends, also drunk, erupt in giggles)
Teenager: 19. (rolls his eyes)
Drunk girl: You’re so cute!
(about 20 min and 4 beers later…)
Drunk over-21 girl poking boy again: Read this. [a business card with a note in pink pen on the back] It’s from our friend, she’s shy. (lots of giggling)
Teenager: (throws card on the ground)

A Twins Game
Overheard by fan annoyed the entire game by these drunk girls, who left in the 7th inning

Underage girl:  So, how old are you then?  Eighteen?
20-year old man:  I’m actually 20.
Underage girl [warily]: Ohhhh…
20-year old man: Is that okay?

Twins vs. Sox
Overheard by these two had the best conversations all night.

Woman on cell phone: Okay kiddo, I’m coming around by the peanuts now!

the ALMONDS stand outside the Metrodome
Overheard by Twins games are the best place to see and hear things.

Twins Announcer: It’s Justin Morneau.
Fan Seated In Row Behind: He won the Olympics!

Metrodome
Overheard by he did especially well in figure skating.

Loud Woman at the Twins Game as Buscher is batting (9th inning, 2 outs, full count, Twins winning 5-3): Come on Buscher!  This is the biggest moment of your life!

Lower Level of the Metrodome
Overheard by Seriously?  The biggest moment of his life?

Young baseball fan: Hey, if you catch two foul balls, will you give me one?
Other young fan: SURE!

Metrodome
Overheard by Foul balls never strike in the same place twice!