Pious friend: Do you think God is happy with you?
Concerned girl: I don’t know.
Pious friend: Well do you at least fast for [religious observance]?
Concerned girl: [Indiscernible]
Pious friend: You’re a terrible person. I love you, but you’re a terrible person.

Downtown Target dressing room
Overheard by I thought this was a fitting room, not a confessional.

Minneapolis dweller: Are you happy that you moved here?
Enthusiastic newcomer: Yeah! I’m almost, like, jealous of myself!

Brit’s Pub
Overheard by waiting lawn bowler.

Kid #1: Ole! Ole!
Kid #2: What does that mean?
Kid #1: You know like, ‘vamonos?’ That means ‘hurry up’ in Spanish. Ole is the way you say it in French.
Kid #2: Ohhhh… Ole! Ole!

Lake Harriet
Overheard by Lost in translation.

Tie-dyed t-shirt guy: I’ve got a LOT of cannabis in my pocket. Like, everything.

Oak & Washington
Overheard by nothing in my pockets.

Young man to apparent family members: I got my arm bitten off by an alligator.  Look at my t-shirt.

A park in Minneapolis
Overheard by WTF???  There might be an easier way to tell.

Dude: So I think I should just take my shirt off and wear my beater.

Outside of the Library
Overheard by: Dan H

Man yelling into cell phone: Whatever, whatever, whatever… whatever… whatever. You believe what you want to believe. Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever. Whatever… whatever… whatever… WHATEVER.

Girl holding a PBR tallboy in one hand and a cigarette in the other: Other than drinking and smoking, I’m pretty much straightedge.

Bastille Day
Overheard by Other than the heroin… me too.

Incredibly angry young woman: You wrote right here that my room number is 149! I walked all the way down the hall and back and you ain’t got no 149!
Incredibly patient front desk man: Ma’am, that’s your rate, your room number is right below your key.

Depot Minneapolis
Overheard by and when was the last time you went to a hotel?

Woman: I eat a lot of butter; that’s my other problem.

4th & Portland, Minneapolis
Overheard by What’s the first problem?

Trendy young woman staggering to her car: Omigod, I almost died!  He was totally, like, having mouth-orgasms.

Colfax Ave, south of Uptown
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Wife to Husband: I told you! I told you that vasectomy didn’t work!

Grand, near Noodles & Co.
Overheard by Guess who’s having a baby!

Spunky tech-guy with mega-gel-spiked hair answering his phone: Douche-bags-say-what? [brief pause] What?

Office building, Warehouse district
Overheard by you sure got him.

Girl riding her bike: What movie is it tonight?
Friend: I think it’s called The Misfits, with Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe.
Girl: Oh, is that the one with Angelina Jolie?

Stevens Square Park
Overheard by Ava.

Dude #1: Bobby McFahrenheit; that would be a good rapper name, right?
Dude# 2: Yeah, man. But how would you rap over that track?
Dude #1: I don’t know man, but it sounds good in my head.
Dude #2: It does?
Dude #1: Mmm-hmmm.
Dude #2: (pause) Let me hear a little of it.

Skyway by Macy’s at lunchtime
Overheard by i wanna hear it too.

Man, to car driving down alley after he crosses: Slow DOWN!
Man in car: Take out your ponytail!

Dupont/34th
Overheard by very concerned neighbor.

Blonde woman to no one in particular: When two straight guys arm wrestle, someone gets punched in the face. When two gay guys arm wrestle, someone buys a round of drinks.

19 Bar
Overheard by saint ramer.

Man #1, huddled under a tent during storm: Should we go stand under the 394 bridge instead? (points to mass of people under the bridge)
Man #2: It’s sort of a toss up. Either stand under a tent in a tornado or stand under a Minnesota bridge.
Man #1: Good point. Let’s stay here.

Basilica Block Party
Overheard by Why won’t they serve beer during the rainstorm?

50-something Man With Arms Raised Drunkenly Scream-Slurring to Friends: I’M GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH MY WIFE TONIGHT!

Basilica Block Party
Overheard by Glad I’m Not His Wife…

Girl in purple 80s prom dress, after dancing partner dips her and hitting her head on a chair: Omigod ow! (rubs the back of her head.)
Guy in plain attire: You ok?
Girl: (slurring) I don’t even know!
Guy grabs girl and they keep grinding and making out.

The Shout House in Block E
Overheard by I hope the sex was worth the concussion.