23rd July 2008

I’m Sure She Appreciates Your Honesty

Pious friend: Do you think God is happy with you?
Concerned girl: I don’t know.
Pious friend: Well do you at least fast for [religious observance]?
Concerned girl: [Indiscernible]
Pious friend: You’re a terrible person. I love you, but you’re a terrible person.

Downtown Target dressing room
Overheard by I thought this was a fitting room, not a confessional.

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23rd July 2008

It’s Too Complicated

Minneapolis dweller: Are you happy that you moved here?
Enthusiastic newcomer: Yeah! I’m almost, like, jealous of myself!

Brit’s Pub
Overheard by waiting lawn bowler.

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23rd July 2008

Where Do Kids Get This Stuff?

Kid #1: Ole! Ole!
Kid #2: What does that mean?
Kid #1: You know like, ‘vamonos?’ That means ‘hurry up’ in Spanish. Ole is the way you say it in French.
Kid #2: Ohhhh… Ole! Ole!

Lake Harriet
Overheard by Lost in translation.

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23rd July 2008

Everyone Downwind Is Getting A Contact High

Tie-dyed t-shirt guy: I’ve got a LOT of cannabis in my pocket. Like, everything.

Oak & Washington
Overheard by nothing in my pockets.

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22nd July 2008

He’s Carries It Around For Proof

Young man to apparent family members: I got my arm bitten off by an alligator.  Look at my t-shirt.

A park in Minneapolis
Overheard by WTF???  There might be an easier way to tell.

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22nd July 2008

It’s A Classic Look That Never Goes Out Of Style

Dude: So I think I should just take my shirt off and wear my beater.

Outside of the Library
Overheard by: Dan H

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22nd July 2008

Are We Clear?

Man yelling into cell phone: Whatever, whatever, whatever… whatever… whatever. You believe what you want to believe. Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever. Whatever… whatever… whatever… WHATEVER.

Outside Bellanotte
Overheard by Sugar.

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21st July 2008

Very Few Can Say The Same

Girl holding a PBR tallboy in one hand and a cigarette in the other: Other than drinking and smoking, I’m pretty much straightedge.

Bastille Day
Overheard by Other than the heroin… me too.

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20th July 2008

Some Things Are Just Too Hard

Incredibly angry young woman: You wrote right here that my room number is 149! I walked all the way down the hall and back and you ain’t got no 149!
Incredibly patient front desk man: Ma’am, that’s your rate, your room number is right below your key.

Depot Minneapolis
Overheard by and when was the last time you went to a hotel?

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20th July 2008

Like A Banana

Woman: I eat a lot of butter; that’s my other problem.

4th & Portland, Minneapolis
Overheard by What’s the first problem?

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19th July 2008

What Does That Look Like?

Trendy young woman staggering to her car: Omigod, I almost died!  He was totally, like, having mouth-orgasms.

Colfax Ave, south of Uptown
Overheard by sxoidmal.

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18th July 2008

It Only Works When A Trained Professional Does It

Wife to Husband: I told you! I told you that vasectomy didn’t work!

Grand, near Noodles & Co.
Overheard by Guess who’s having a baby!

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16th July 2008

The 90s Called… Etc, Etc

Spunky tech-guy with mega-gel-spiked hair answering his phone: Douche-bags-say-what? [brief pause] What?

Office building, Warehouse district
Overheard by you sure got him.

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15th July 2008

Angie Looks Good For Her Age

Girl riding her bike: What movie is it tonight?
Friend: I think it’s called The Misfits, with Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe.
Girl: Oh, is that the one with Angelina Jolie?

Stevens Square Park
Overheard by Ava.

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15th July 2008

Destined For Stardom

Dude #1: Bobby McFahrenheit; that would be a good rapper name, right?
Dude# 2: Yeah, man. But how would you rap over that track?
Dude #1: I don’t know man, but it sounds good in my head.
Dude #2: It does?
Dude #1: Mmm-hmmm.
Dude #2: (pause) Let me hear a little of it.

Skyway by Macy’s at lunchtime

Overheard by i wanna hear it too.

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15th July 2008

Will That Help?

Man, to car driving down alley after he crosses: Slow DOWN!
Man in car: Take out your ponytail!

Dupont/34th
Overheard by very concerned neighbor.

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15th July 2008

What Happens When A Straight Man And Gay Man Arm Wrestle?

Blonde woman to no one in particular: When two straight guys arm wrestle, someone gets punched in the face. When two gay guys arm wrestle, someone buys a round of drinks.

19 Bar
Overheard by saint ramer.

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14th July 2008

Anyone Want To Work Out Those Odds?

Man #1, huddled under a tent during storm: Should we go stand under the 394 bridge instead? (points to mass of people under the bridge)
Man #2: It’s sort of a toss up. Either stand under a tent in a tornado or stand under a Minnesota bridge.
Man #1: Good point. Let’s stay here.

Basilica Block Party
Overheard by Why won’t they serve beer during the rainstorm?

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14th July 2008

Better Give Her A Head Start

50-something Man With Arms Raised Drunkenly Scream-Slurring to Friends: I’M GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH MY WIFE TONIGHT!

Basilica Block Party
Overheard by Glad I’m Not His Wife…

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11th July 2008

The Alcohol Numbs The Pain

Girl in purple 80s prom dress, after dancing partner dips her and hitting her head on a chair: Omigod ow! (rubs the back of her head.)
Guy in plain attire: You ok?
Girl: (slurring) I don’t even know!
Guy grabs girl and they keep grinding and making out.

The Shout House in Block E
Overheard by I hope the sex was worth the concussion.

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