Drunk girl: I’m so sick of going to the bathroom.

Minneapolis, The Local
Overheard by …tragic.

Yuppie man: It’s a Mac.  You can’t get a virus on a Mac.
Yuppie woman: Even with all the porn you watch?

Minneapolis, Outside The Bryant-Lake Bowl
Overheard by Safe Sex Has Gotten So Complicated!

Nervous tattooed boy: I mean, your face is really really beautiful though.
Bored pretty girl, nodding: Yeah, that’s true.

Minneapolis, Nine Inch Nails concert
Overheard by invisiblepilot.

Woman ordering stuffing: I want that container, that one in the middle, yep.
Woman serving stuffing: Do you want this whole thing full?
Woman ordering stuffing: Oh god, no. I want a little more than a half. (pause) But a little less than a third. Not too much.

Minneapolis, Surdyk’s
Overheard by oh, that much.

Coworker: Does anyone know where I got this Pop Tart?

Minneapolis, Next office cubicle row over
Overheard by No, but if it’s Brown Sugar flavored I’ll buy it from you for 20 cents.

Guy with comb over: No really, it was a granny smith apple.  It came shooting out of his arse.

Minneapolis, Chang Meng Thai
Overheard by He Who Spit Fried Rice Everywhere.

Loud woman browsing VHS: Should I get this?
Male companion: You know, Oliver Stone’s movies are, like, entertaining, but they don’t, uh, have any value for shit. It’s like they have no, uh, redeeming social, uh, quality. I mean…
Loud woman: Ooh! Gremlins!

Minneapolis, Cheapo Basement
Overheard by Really? Thanks for sharing.

Cute, 20’s something, professional woman: You know, sometimes I just really wish I knew what it’s like to be slutty!

Minneapolis, Chino Latino

One guy in his 20s to another, walking to their respective cars: Sorry dude, I forgot the chainsaws again!

Minneapolis, Bar parking lot
Overheard by Only in Minnesota.

Brunette: What can you do with a degree in nutrition?
Blonde: Oh, you can do just about anything.

Minneapolis, Caribou Coffee
Overheard by Can You Be A Lawyer?

One female coworker to another female coworker while walking down the work hallway: Damn, I JUST started my period!

Minneapolis, 901 Marquette, 20th Floor
Overheard by J.

Dorky, 30-something white construction worker to his dorky, 30-something white construction worker friends: Don’t make me unleash the swagger!

Downtown Minneapolis, AT&T skyway
Overheard by do you even know what a swagger is?

Blonde to receptionist, pointing to a big jar of loose pills: What are you going to do with all those left-over vitamins?
Receptionist: I don’t know? Flush ‘em?
Blonde: You should totally take them to St Anne’s. Homeless people need Vitamin B, too!

Minneapolis, Dr’s Office
Overheard by: i think they need homes more than vitamins.

Overweight Coworker: I just downed that bag of chips like it was my job!

Minneapolis, Office
Overheard by Supposed to be in a weight loss contest.

Clerk greeting incoming customer: How you doin?
Customer: I’m lovin’ you, baby, that’s why I’m here.

Minneapolis, Union Liquors
Overheard by I love this store, always an adventure.

Child, about 6: There aren’t any purple tennis shoes ANYWHERE!
Mom: We’ll just have to keep looking.
Child: It must be because Barack Obama’s President now.

Minneapolis, Downtown Skyways
Overheard by what do her parents talk about at dinner?

Drunk 20-something girl to club bouncer (slurring): Shake it like a salt shaker!

Downtown Minneapolis, outside a club near the metrodome
Overheard by umm no thanks.

Man: I think he wanted some fruit snacks.
Woman: What are fruit snacks?
Man: Um, snacks… made of fruit.
Woman: Oh, fruit snacks!

Minneapolis, Target
Overheard by fruit what now?

Unwieldy, floundering middle aged woman: I’m going to the bus. Don’t follow me!!
Child: I know.

Minneapolis, Bottineau Neighborhood
Overheard by aeh.

Middle-aged woman: My wedding ring from my first marriage has new meaning now.
Friend: What’s that?
Middle-aged woman: When I lost all that weight and it didn’t fit anymore, I took it as a sign to divorce the bastard and marry Jesus Christ.
Friend: Why don’t you just wear it on your toe instead?

Minneapolis, Panera-Nicollet Mall
Overheard by good lord.