Posts Tagged ‘minneapolis’
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That’s What Most Men Hear
Woman #1: How are you?
Woman #2: I can’t complain.
Woman #1: I can always complain. I’m a woman. Whine, whine, whine.Minneapolis, #18 bus downtown
Overheard by an uncomplaining woman. -
That’s Actually What He Wished For
Crazy girl: I’m like, “Dude, I know it’s your birthday and all, sorry!” And then I punched him in the face.
Minneapolis, 6u bus
Overheard by rjy. -
Home Schooling Has Changed A Lot Over The Years
Adult man to two small boys crossing the street: That’s a white girl with a chihuahua.
Minneapolis, Nicollet Avenue
Overheard by a white girl with a chihuhua (mix) walking in front of them. -
Good Reason Not To Store Away Things That Breathe
Woman: So, the attic needs to be cleaned out.
Man: Uh huh.
Woman: I don’t want to be the one to do that.
Man: Right.
Woman: I don’t like it up there, I’m scared.
Man: Uh-huh.
Woman: I just know that something is going to jump up and just land right on my face.
Man: Yeah.Minneapolis, on a sidewalk in the Whittier Neighborhood
Overheard by A. Johnson. -
Those Prayer Hands Look A Lot Like Vomit
Intoxicated Older Bus Passenger: I’m a born again alcoholic! I got prayer hands on my shirt. That means I pray every day.
Minneapolis, 21 bus
Overheard by QuoteRadar. -
Problem Solved
Homeless Guy #1: I’m tellin’ you, they should just tear the damn roof off that thing, put some lights up and play ball.
Homeless Guy #2: That would work.
Homeless Guy #1: It’s still a good building, it’s only 30 years old.
Homeless Guy #2: It’s be a waste to tear it down. And think of all the money they’d save.
Homeless Guy #1: They could give it to us!Minneapolis, #16 bus, passing by Metrodome
Overheard by I couldn’t agree more. -
Or Like A Bus
Woman, after being asked for her phone number: I have only one man in my life and that’s God. Because I know that he would never hurt me. Don’t get me started or I will treat this bus like a Sunday.
Downtown Minneapolis, 18 Bus
Overheard by the one smiling. -
Make Sure It’s Enough To Share With Everyone
Big lady on the phone: I’m hungry! (pause) Well, I don’t care, then osmosis me some food now!
Minneapolis, 6 Bus
Overheard by I dont think thats how it works. -
But I Kept It For Myself
Dirty hipster to friends: One time I went really high to buy my dad a birthday present and ended up getting him a really sweet toilet seat.
Minneapolis, Lyndale VFW
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Share Your New Year’s Resolutions!
Loud 20something girl: I’ve never made love on a dead deer skin.
Minneapolis, Evergreen Taiwanese Restaurant
Overheard by melissadevice. -
My Wife Picked This Out For Me
Man in camo overalls to his friends: I am a decent human being, I have a moral compass, but I have absolutely no sense of fashion.
Minneapolis, TCF Bank Stadium, Vikings Game
Overheard by frozen toes. -
This Is Now In My Google Search History
20′s girl, to friends: I didn’t realize my middle name was the French word for “vagina” until I went to Europe.
Minneapolis, outside the Herkimer
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Might As Well Be Applebee’s In Minnetonka
Guy telling story to friend: So, I walk into the restaurant and the hostess asks if we have reservations… and I’m like, it’s St. Paul.
Minneapolis, walking down Hennepin Ave
Overheard by Allison. -
Then This Probably Sucks
College girl to friend: I just, like, don’t like being judged for what I say!
Minneapolis, U of M
Overheard by because conversation is too suprficial. -
Unless He Hasn’t Found That Either
Man, looking for card in his wallet: Why can’t I find it?
Woman at front desk: Because you’re looking for it. As soon as you stop looking for it, you’ll find it. Like a significant other.Minneapolis, VA Medical Center
Overheard by Waiting. -
Now He’s Looking For Something To Kick The Whiskey Habit
Bearded Hipster: So, he kicked his heroin habit with whiskey and pot! How awesome is that?!
Seward, Minneapolis, Tracy’s Saloon
Overheard by Probably less awesome than you’re making it sound. -
Cheaper Than An Hour With A Therapist
Girl to friend, exiting the Metrodome after Vikings game: I’m being pushed out of my mom’s vagina!
Minneapolis, Metrodome
Overheard by Oh Vikings fans -
You Can’t Save Everyone
Professor/mom, about her young son: Kids rebel, you know. I’m afraid he’s going to be a Republican when he’s a teenager.
Minneapolis, U of M
Overheard by cl. -
The Beautiful Early Stages Of Courtship
Departing Obnoxious Man to Woman: Yeah, I gotta hit the john and then I’ll see you later.
Minneapolis, Dinkytown Espresso Royale
Overheard by HELLO HELLO YOUR CELL PHONE. -
Someone To Make Her A Sandwich?
Woman talking loudly on phone: Uh uh. She want pizza? No no no, you make that girl a sandwich. She ain’t got nothin’ come to her. What’s that? She want to go to Marshall’s? I know for a fact she only got $7. She thinks she can get two shirts with that? Those are gonna be two shitty ass shirts. Don’t give her any money, SHE AIN’T GOT NOTHIN COMIN’ TO HER! That’s what she gets for being a grown ass woman and pissing in her bed.
Minneapolis, 6 bus
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