18th August 2008

Fifteen Years Ago

Old Woman #1: I saw a wonderful movie last night.
Old Woman #2: What was it about?
Old Woman #1: There was this boy and he had a whale, that he let go…
Old Woman #2: Oh my, what was it called?
Old Woman #1: Free Willy.
Old Woman #2: I saw part of that once.  That’s a good movie.

Minneapolis, Lake Nokomis
Overheard by Matt.

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18th August 2008

He’s Such A Guy

Woman to her boyfriend: Should we watch the Piano tonight?
Boyfriend: Sure, but it’s kinda boring.
Woman: Why’s that?
Boyfriend: There’s too much talking.
Woman: Isn’t the main character mute?

Minneapolis, Blockbuster
Overheard by must be a lot of talking.

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18th August 2008

There’s No Comeback For That

Homeless man (defensively): Well… I think you smell like fuck!

Nicollet Mall
Overheard by Mr. Ross.

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17th August 2008

Nobody Was Around This Morning To Help Him Take His Meds

Guy on bike to random guy: Hey, do you know where Saint Pedophilia is?
Random guy: Where?
Guy on bike: Saint Pedophilia. It’s a Catholic Church by Saint Thomas where the priests molest little boys and turn them into homosexuals. (bikes away)
Random guy (stunned): What the fuck was that?

Minneapolis, Marquette and 5th
Overheard by well that was odd.

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17th August 2008

Does It Say “Peace”?

Woman walking in, looking at the “tagging” on the door: Looks like Chinese to me!

Minneapolis, Minnehaha Post Office
Overheard by Too much Olympic fever.

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15th August 2008

Dear Penthouse…

Middle Aged Female Client: You aren’t going to find out the sex?  How are you going to know what color to paint the nursery or what kind of baby clothes to get?
Pregnant 30-something hair stylist: Oh, please, like it matters what colors I choose.  People aren’t going to be wondering if it’s a girl or a boy anyway; they’re going to wonder if it’s an animal or a baby.

Minneapolis, Local Salon
Overheard by jenc17.

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15th August 2008

Is The Farm & Craft Market That Boring?

Guy: The only way I would end up back in Watertown is if I was paralyzed from the waist down.

Bryant Lake Bowl
Overheard by tell me about it.

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14th August 2008

It’s Not Enough

Man, rapping to himself: My name is Memphis, and I say it with an emphis.

Minneapolis, 4th & Nicollet
Overheard by with a what now?

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14th August 2008

How About “Clever” Under Skills?

New client to case manager: I’m not the meek, doting mom that I was when I was a crackhead.  I got a lot of experience; I used to run a call center.
Case manager: For telemarketing?
Everyone in room (emphatically):  No.
New Client:  I ran a whorehouse.
Case Manager:  Ah… I don’t think we can put that on a resume.

An office complex in Minneapolis
Overheard by Miracle Worker.

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12th August 2008

Unless You Write Them In English

Middle-Age Woman: Maybe the numbers are different in Spanish.
Younger Woman: No, no. The numbers look the same. They only look different when you write out the words.
Middle-Age Woman: Oh.

Minneapolis, Skyway Level, Parking Ramp B
Overheard by Thanks again, BlackBerry.

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12th August 2008

For Reals

Teenage girl on bike, to her friends on bikes: This is the hooptiest hoopty I ever rode!

In front of Midtown Target

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12th August 2008

It’s Just The Beginning

Mother yelling at her stroller-bound toddler: Stop it, a**hole!

Downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by Just trying to walk quietly to a Twins game.

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12th August 2008

That’s Most Likely A Yes

President of the company says to his male co-worker: So, does that affect your bowel movements?

901 Marquette Avenue South (formerly the 225 S. 6th street crew!)
Overheard by Sometimes I wish I just didn’t pay attention to people.

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12th August 2008

We May Need A Bigger Needle

Nurse: How are the bowel movements?
Patient: Define bowel movements.

Minneapolis, A clinic

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12th August 2008

*Firm Forehead Slap*

30-something Girl #1: You know what’d be funny?
30-something Girl #2: What?
30-something Girl #1: I wanna get two Jack Russell terriers and name one Jack and one Russell.
30-something Girl #2: *silence*
30-something Girl #1: Isn’t that funny?!
30-something Girl #2: Nah.
30-something Girl #1: Well, I think it is.

Minneapolis, Lake Harriet walking path
Overheard by doodledee.

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12th August 2008

What Do You Mean By “Anything Like That”?

40-going-on-25 wannabe hipster to store employee: Do you carry any of that Surly beer?
Employee, pointing to the Surly cans: Sure, it’s right over here.
Hipster: Oh, don’t you carry it in bottles or anything like that?
Employee: You’re not from around here, are you?

Minneapolis, Surdyk’s
Overheard by It’s beer for a glass, from a can.

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12th August 2008

An Interesting Fact About Crackheads

Little boy: What’s your shirt say??
Older boy: “The Freaks Come Out at Night.”
Little boy: Freaks? Oh, you mean crack heads!?

Minneapolis, Bryant Ave.
Overheard by you have a curfew.

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12th August 2008

It Happens Earlier Than You Think

College Girl #1, at about 4:30 in the afternoon: Well, we could go get dinner now, but it’s really early for that.
College Guy: Well, it’s not too early if you are old.
College Girl #2: Yeah, they always start rolling into the restaurant about this time.
College Girl #1: Really? I can’t wait to be old!

Minneapolis, Seven Corners
Overheard by I’m not in that big of a rush…

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11th August 2008

Dry Lips Are Wack

Crazy black lady: I’m up here with Osama Bin Laden with that man’s terrorist force.  I don’t get why people be hatin’ on that man, ya’know? (A few minutes later, talking to her drunk neighbor) Can I get some of your beer? My lips are dry I did some bad crack earlier.  I’m just kidding, but seriously, that was some bad shit.

Minneapolis, Outside apartment building
Overheard by Freya… I just wanted to spend my 21st birthday in peace.

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11th August 2008

Other Dogs Walk Like That

Older Woman to Middle Aged Man walking a dog: Is that how all dogs walk?
Middle Aged Man: That’s how THIS dog walks.

Minneapolis, Lake Calhoun
Overheard by Have you never seen a dog walk before.

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