Posts Tagged ‘minneapolis’
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Maybe Next Time We’ll Bring Our Dates
Metro frat boy as him and three others were leaving: We’re getting really good at sexy time!
Minneapolis, U of M Tea Garden
Overheard by a guy with a hat. -
This Will Not Be Another Kohl’s Incident!
Mom: Diego, take your little brother to the bathroom. (they start to walk away) And bring him BACK, too!
Minneapolis, Lake Street Target
Overheard by Specificity is Greatly Appreciated. -
Nothing Stings Like Disappointment From A Child
5 year old boy holding a pair of red, sequin shoes up to his Mom: I found some shoes that are perfect for you.
Mom, laughing: Well, the thing is…
5 year old boy, disappointed: Oh, you’re not that into fashion.Minneapolis, Target
Overheard by sunidae. -
They’ll Be Too Weak To Fight For Long
Library employee, while standing outside during a fire drill: There’s going to be a riot. We’re disrupting their porn intake for the day.
Minneapolis, Central Library
Overheard by a patron. -
They Already Got To Her
20-Something Woman: Waldo can’t be a zombie! He’s fictional!
Minneapolis, Zombie Pub Crawl
Overheard by So is your braaaaain. -
Good Thing They’re Cute
Young woman to a young man (they appear to be on a date): Aren’t Grandparents racist? Grandparents are so racist.
Minneapolis, Bulldog N.E.
Overheard by Tara Zeigler. -
You Can’t Tame Wild Oats
Younger man, after seeing older man’s wedding ring: Man, you got a girl, you’re in it forever?
Older man: Yep.
Younger man: Yeah, I got a girlfriend, been together six months, she’s real smart. She’s real smart. But sticking with one your whole LIFE? SHIT, man. Fuck that shit!Minneapolis, Bus #4
Overheard by Burrhead. -
Then Let Me Take This Dress Off
Woman, to her toddler son: You ain’t a girl! Stop cryin’!
Minneapolis, Hennepin County Human Services
Overheard by Somebody’s never seen “Free to Be You and Me.” -
She Passionately Told Me To Suck It
Mom to friends: With a kind heart, in a nonjudgemental fashion I passionately told Jane’s mom how ill behaved her child was.
Minneapolis, Anodyne
Overheard by biting my tongue. -
And Planning My Fake Kidnapping
Woman #1: Do you guys cook Thai food at home?
Woman #2: Uh, yeah! It’s the only exciting thing I do any more. Besides bra shopping.Seward, True Thai
Overheard by Someone who leads a less exciting life, apparently. -
It Was A Special Occasion
Girl at party: Me and my sister were the only two white people there. It freaked me out. I’m not racist or anything, but we don’t have black people in Wisconsin.
Minneapolis, Hotel post-wedding party
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And The World To Know
Woman yelling: The only thing that I want when I am high is a spicy chicken sandwich.
Minneapolis, KFC at Lake & Chicago
Overheard by Who needs a double-down? -
I Missed That After School Special
Ice-cream Jockey: C is for CRUNK, bitches! Fuck that cookie monster, man!
Minneapolis, Dairy Queen/Orange Julius
Overheard by virtuistic. -
Maybe He’ll Grow Into It
Woman on cell phone: Didn’t you say you ran into her at the fair and her kid was, like, totally jacked? (pause) You’re going to hell! Don’t lie! (pause) Mmhmm, JACKED. (chuckles)
Minneapolis, Bus #2
Overheard by Burrhead. -
If You Know What I Mean WINK WINK
Young tough: We can go back to my dad’s place and roll ’cause he’s got joint papers.
Minneapolis, bus stop
Overheard by not acknowledging whatever it is the two of you are doing. -
That Rhymes With A Word She Doesn’t Know
Poofy-haired girl in sweats to crazy old guy in patriotic hat: Uncle Sam, is he real or is he fictionary?
Minneapolis, Northbound Rt 14 bus
Overheard by egg. -
Now They Remember Why They Haven’t Left Iowa In 25 Years
Middle-aged mom complaining to the server about the veggie burger she ordered: In IOWA, we call hamburgers with vegetables on top ‘veggie burgers’.
Minneapolis, The Depot Tavern
Overheard by the look of disgust at having eaten LENTILS was priceless. -
His Mom Really Needs To Lighten Up
Man biking to friend: I don’t see how they could get so mad, when you only gave them the finger.
Minneapolis, On the Midtown Greenway near the Midtown Market
Overheard by A. Johnson. -
That’s Also How They Get Diamonds From Coal
Target Employee Woman: I love almond milk. It’s so sweet and tasty.
Target Employee Man: How do they make almond milk?
Target Employee Woman: Not sure. They probably squeeze the almond, milk it or something.Minneapolis, Target HQ
Overheard by Seriously? Who the hell milks an almond? -
Not Something I Can Help With
Early 20′s Male: I’d like to do something awesome. And classy. But I don’t know what that would be.
Minneapolis, Lyndale Avenue
Overheard by Curbin’ It.
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