Girl #1: Look! It’s like a train!
Girl #2: Chugga chugga, chugga chugga… Quack quack!

Minnetonka Mills
Overheard by concerned friend.

Guy #1, to Dairy Queen employee: We were wondering…
Guy #2: Can you guarantee nirvana in our moo-lattes?

Minnetonka DQ
Overheard by $1.99 for spiritual enlightenment?

Girl to friends: I always win though… and it’s pretty easy. I just hit him until he takes it off.

Lake Street Extension
Overheard by disturbed onlooker.

Elementary school girl to sister:  Have you ever sat on really hot bleachers?  If so, try my new Anus Sack!  Just add ice to the pouch and sit for instant cooling!  I also attached some silverware, some scissors, some glue, some oats, some floss, some tapioca pudding, a pack of flashcards, a pencil, and some Children’s Motrin. You know… just in case.

Minnetonka Mills Dunn Bros.
Overheard by i’d buy that.

Girl #1: I want her face.
Girl #2: I want her boobs!
Girl #3: I want her CROTCH!
Girls #1 and 2: No, I want the crotch!!
Girl #3 (solemnly): Alright.  We’ll have to split the crotch three ways.

Minnetonka neighborhood
Overheard by hmm…

Mother (to daughter): Hey, you could get a job at Build-A-Bear.
Exasperated Daughter: No I couldn’t, they have to wear khaki pants AND denim shirts.

Ridgedale Mall
Overheard by what’s wrong with that?

Girl #1: I just love syphilis plants! (as she smelled a SALVIA plant)
Girl #2: Me, too. They smell so good.

On a walk at lunch in Minnetonka
Overheard by i had no idea you could catch THAT on a walk…

Co-worker #1: I hear we’re supposed to get tornado weather tonight.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, late this evening.
Co-worker #1: No, I mean here. (while we’re at work)
Co-worker #2: Oh.
Co-worker #3: They should send us home, so we can get a nap before we all die.

Medica
Overheard by El duce.

Co-worker: Hello sir, I am calling on behalf of your baby mama. She needs your digits.

Medica call center
Overheard by I fell out of my chair.

Co-worker (on phone to member): Is that a full or partial penis removal? [co-workers laughing] (putting phone on mute) Stop it! I’m a PROFESSIONAL!

Medica
Overheard by wow…

Math Teacher: Wouldn’t it be nice if this was quadratic? *sniffs* It smells quadratic! It smells like a quardratic, can
you smell it?

MHS

Tipsy Grandmother: Oh, so he nibbles you like a duck?

Haven rd, Minnetonka
Overheard by dubious.

Confused student struggling through a test: Wait… is iced tea considered a vegetable?

Minnetonka
Overheard by his bewildered teacher.

Co-worker: My computer has been so slow today. I wonder if it has to do with all the rain we’ve been having.

Minnetonka office building
Overheard by suppressing an outburst.

Guy: Man, if I fail this test my parents will neuter me.

Minnetonka HS
Overheard by the bob-barker treatment?

Dude #1 as dude #2 sits down next to him: You’re like clockwork!
Dude #2: I am much smarter than a clock.
Dude #1: Clocks are pretty smart.
Dude #2: I dunno…
Dude #1: Even a broken one is right twice a day. haha I love that, I always look for ways to insert it into conversations.

MHS-waiting for the bus to leave
Overheard by KJ.

Teen Girl: But they’re all maple!
Teen Guy: But real maple syrup is different, it isn’t the same as everything else.
Teen Girl: They all say maple. They’re the same.
Teen Guy: No they’re not, see… (picks up real maple syrup) “real maple syrup”.
Teen Girl: But…

Cub Foods, Minnetonka
Overheard by Real Corn Syrup.

Male Employee: (talking to teenage girl who wants to apply for a job) Do you work for the railroad, or at the railroad? Because thats important. But I won’t get into it now.

Minnetonka Starbucks

Boy: I am really hard to diss.
Friends: Yeah…

Minnetonka Dairy Queen

Girl: You know, you look like this one guy.
Boy: What? Spaghetti?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: With meatballs?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: Yummy.

Near Minnetonka HS