Guy #1: Dude, you can’t make out with your sister!
Guy #2: Even if she’s, like, really hot?
Guy #1: Rough, dude.

Minnetonka High School
Overheard by glad we’re not related.

Guy wearing T-mobile shirt: Apparently people are starting to fight about what atheist group is better. That’s ridiculous. Nobody fights about what religious group is better.

Minnetonka, T-mobile kiosk in Ridgedale Mall
Overheard by an atheist.

Blonde Cheerleader: I mean, like, no one even goes to junior prom. Junior prom is like… daycare.

Minnetonka, Minnetonka High School

One elderly man to an equally elderly man looking at their shoes: Is it from the Buckle? Doesn’t everybody buy shit at the Buckle?

Minnetonka, Dick’s Sporting Goods
Overheard by Yes, everyone buys shit at the Buckle.

Coworker #1: Let’s not worry about going to jail in Japan right now. Let’s just focus on the big picture.
Coworker #2: Yeah. Besides, it’s not like going to jail in Paraguay.

Minnetonka, At work
Overheard by Hoping they’ve got a third option.

Girl getting out of her car in the parking lot: Oh my God!!! I miss LA!

Minnetonka, Ridgedale
Overheard by Stephan.

Student: Deep inside I’m obese.

Minnetonka, Minnetonka High School
Overheard by Tallulah.

Boy #1: Doesn’t Dan* have a cow suit?
Boy #2, wearing a cow costume: Probably. Dan’s an attractive man.

Minnetonka High School
Overheard by Tallulah.

College-age girl with pink hair: Ugh. I haven’t sold a single knife, like, ALL MONTH. I suck at this. I should just give up on life now.
College-age guy: Whoa, now, don’t go all Williy Loman on me.
College-age girl: Who?
College-age guy: Willy Loman. Main character from Death of a Salesman? We read it in Lit last semester.
College-age girl: Oh. Right. He was all depressed, but didn’t everything work out okay for him?
(pause)
College-age guy: Jenny, the play is called “Death of…” Remind me again how you passed that class?

Minnetonka, Ridgedale Mall, Food Court
Overheard by Sparknotes?

8 Year Old Boy #1: Hey, you played at First Avenue, right?
8 Year Old Boy #2: Yeah.
8 Year Old Boy #1: So, did you get your name on the wall?
8 Year Old Boy #2: Yeah, I think so.

Minnetonka, Ridgedale Mall
Overheard by Uh, I don’t think so.

Over-privileged West Metro teen: Money doesn’t make you happy. I mean, I have a thousand bucks in my pocket, and I’m not any happier.

Minnetonka, Byerley’s Parking Lot
Overheard by passerby.

Future math major to her equally smart friend: What’s 75% off of four dollars? (long pause, then both give up and walk away)

Minnetonka, Ridgedale
Overheard by I would have looked at the price sheet.

Teenage girl to sister: Oh way to go, now the whole Calvin Klein section smells like fart!

Minnetonka, Ridgedale Mall
Overheard by gasmask.

Mom to waiter: Do you have the option of white or dark meat on the combo?
Waiter: Yep.
Mom, stoked at the choice: Not to sound like a chicken racist, but I want all white meat.

Minnetonka, Famous Dave’s
Overheard by Dark meat is NASTY.

Man at urinal to man at other urinal: It’s just too big to jiggle or wiggle.

Minnetonka, Men’s Room, Test Scoring Center
Overheard by In a stall, couldn’t see if it was true.

Mom in toy aisle: I am VERY opposed to Chutes & Ladders!

Minnetonka, Target
Overheard by A former Chutes & Ladders master.

Mother: I think we need to buy you dress shoes.
4 yr. old son w/ disgusted look on his face: I’m a boy; I don’t wear dresses.

Minnetonka, Little Feet Childrens Shoes, Ridgedale Mall
Overheard by LF Sales Associate.

Woman talking on her cell phone: We don’t have any penetration there.

Minnetonka, Woman’s Restroom at a Corporate Office
Overheard by Why the hell are you talking on the phone whilst peeing?

Guy (pointing to picture): Is that person a guy or a girl?
Girl: A GIRL, duh!  How could you have missed her boobs?  I thought that was all guys looked at!
Guy: Well, sorry!  Her boobs can’t be more than 34A.  They barely even count!

Minnetonka, HHS French III
Overheard by 36B.

Teen boy #1: And I had the pleasure of dirtying both of them. At the same time!
Teen boy #2: And I am going to dirty them next Tuesday.

Minnetonka, High School Math Class
Overheard by i feel bad for ‘them’.