Socially awkward: (HUGE sneeze)
Annoying: Geeeez, don’t kill yourself.
Socially awkward: Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain!

Minnetonka, MHS

Teen at lunch table: Hey guys, anyone have some spare cash? (blank stares from everyone at the table) What? I need to buy a bagpipe!

Minnetonka, Hopkins High School cafeteria
Overheard by can’t decide if that’s legit.

Old Lady: I think this is too tight. (farts) Yep, definitely too tight.

Minnetonka, Macy’s dressing room
Overheard by i’d have to agree.

Guy and Girl walk down the hallway singing: They don’t understaaand.
Friend running up behind them: It won’t stop bleeding, guys!!!

Minnetonka, MHS-cafeteria

European man on his cell phone, standing outside his European car: We are Europeans; L.A. is not interesting to us.

Minnetonka, Barnes & Noble Parking Lot
Overheard by Patrick&Melanie.

Boy: So I said, “No, I’m not gonna do that! I wanna go to science camp!” *unintelligible* So, then she threw down her skirt and ran away.

Ridgedale, Applebee’s

Teen girl (mumbling to self): No more cream cheese… no more cheese.
Male friend: What’s wrong with her?
Female friend: The doctor told her she’s lactose intolerant today. She’s not taking it too well.
Teen girl (now shaking male friend): NO MORE BUTTERED POPCORN!!!

Minnetonka, Minnehaha Creek
Overheard by Sad.. no more cheese.

Man in casual business attire: I’ll lick my finger, and I don’t know where it’s been.

Minnetonka, cube farm
Overheard by really? not even a clue?

Female coworker, to male coworker as they are sitting closely looking at a spreadsheet: Wow. That’s BIG!
Male coworker: No, it’s not that big. I’ve had much bigger.

Minnetonka, Whitewater building

Mother: Well, when I was a kid, I felt a little lonely.  I had this great idea to get a boy to ask me out.  I tape recorded myself in a low voice saying “Hey, can I speak to Lula*? ”  Then I would pause, so there would be time to go get me.  Then I called me and played the tape back over one end of the phone.  Soon, I would come on the phone and… I asked me out. (pause) You can see now what this has done for my self-confidence.
 
Minnetonka, The General Store
Overheard by hey there little lady.

Geeky guy: It takes me, like, 2 hours to poop!

Minnetonka, Best Buy
Overheard by Has enough fiber in her diet.

Older lady: You might know my sister Laura?
Checkout lady: OH MY GOSH! I love your sister! She’s great.
Older lady: Yep, that’s her.
Checkout lady: You guys are sisters? You look nothing alike!
Older lady: (laughs) We’re sisters.
Checkout lady: Really? You really don’t look alike; different dads maybe?
(awkward silence)

Minnetonka, Ridgedale Macy’s
Overheard by yikes.

Guy, announcing as he gets on the bus: These are my DESTRUCTION shoes!

Minnetonka, MHS, bus ride home

Target Employee to Another: The way the store is set up is to make the child misbehave and be tempted.

Minnetonka,  Super Target
Overheard by Hilary!

Bartender while making drinks for two drunk guys: All the ice is melting so I’m having some trouble.
Drunk guy: That’s all right, I don’t need any more ice, I’m not interested in it.
(Apparently) Drunker Guy: I’m totally interested in where it’s been and where it’s going.

Minnetonka, The Boathouse
Overheard by WTF does that even mean dude?!

Boy (to Dairy Queen cashier): Um, excuse me… I ordered a thin mint blizzard and you gave me this applesauce.
Cashier: Huh, that’s weird.  I didn’t even know we had applesauce.
Boy: Well neither did I, but apparently…
Cashier (to other cashier): Kyla, why’d we give this boy applesauce?  (to boy)  Is it any good?
Boy: Well, it’s pretty good.  (sips applesauce)  A little warm, but good.

Minnetonka Mills Dairy Queen
Overheard by hahahaha.

Girl: Ben, you can’t just go throwing around your penis quarter at anyone.  Some people don’t like that too much.

Minnetonka Mills
Overheard by well that’s odd.

Blonde Female Teen (to friend): Here. I’ll trade you her right boob for the left side of her crotch.

Minnetonka, on the street
Overheard by I’m really glad I’m not her.

Guy #1: Hey dude, we saw your exact look-a-like tonight at the bar!
Guy #2: Fuck no, nobody’s this good looking.

Apartment parking lot in Minnetonka
Overheard by udderly mooooving.

20-something girl (loudly): I lost my boyfriend!
Friend (on phone, half paying attention): Have you been drinking?

Macaroni Grill entrance, Minnetonka