Confused student struggling through a test: Wait… is iced tea considered a vegetable?

Minnetonka
Overheard by his bewildered teacher.

Co-worker: My computer has been so slow today. I wonder if it has to do with all the rain we’ve been having.

Minnetonka office building
Overheard by suppressing an outburst.

Guy: Man, if I fail this test my parents will neuter me.

Minnetonka HS
Overheard by the bob-barker treatment?

Dude #1 as dude #2 sits down next to him: You’re like clockwork!
Dude #2: I am much smarter than a clock.
Dude #1: Clocks are pretty smart.
Dude #2: I dunno…
Dude #1: Even a broken one is right twice a day. haha I love that, I always look for ways to insert it into conversations.

MHS-waiting for the bus to leave
Overheard by KJ.

Teen Girl: But they’re all maple!
Teen Guy: But real maple syrup is different, it isn’t the same as everything else.
Teen Girl: They all say maple. They’re the same.
Teen Guy: No they’re not, see… (picks up real maple syrup) “real maple syrup”.
Teen Girl: But…

Cub Foods, Minnetonka
Overheard by Real Corn Syrup.

Male Employee: (talking to teenage girl who wants to apply for a job) Do you work for the railroad, or at the railroad? Because thats important. But I won’t get into it now.

Minnetonka Starbucks

Boy: I am really hard to diss.
Friends: Yeah…

Minnetonka Dairy Queen

Girl: You know, you look like this one guy.
Boy: What? Spaghetti?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: With meatballs?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: Yummy.

Near Minnetonka HS

Boy: (while AC/DC’s Shook Me All Night Long was playing) Is this song about bacon?

Minnetonka HS hallway

Mom: So, is the boy you met also in 6th grade?
Son: Yeah, but he only has three days left of school.
Mom: Oh! So you have a lot in common!

Minnetonka

Two children playing an imaginary game of pirates
5 year old girl: Look! The pirates are attacking! We have to go fight them!
3 year old boy: But it’s not Tuesday!!

Minnetonka
Overheard by a babysitter laughing her non-pirate butt off.

Guy #1: I am a Chippendale. YEAH!
Guy #2: YEAH!

Minnetonka HS walking down the hall
Overheard by then i am a pussy cat doll.

Teacher: (to student talking in the back of class) Jordan*! can you tell us the answer to the problem on the board?
Student: Um…no, sir.
Teacher: You are inturrupting the class! What were you talking about?
Student: Petroleum lightsabers.

Minnetonka HS Math Class

Boy: I don’t like to eat plants. I feel bad for things that were once alive. I’d rather eat meat!

Minnetonka

Dude: Apparently I’m the dumbest smart person ever.

MHS-Accelerated math class

After a conversation about how there is a proposal to put a speed limit on the Autobahn in Germany.
Kid #1: It’s like if you go to Ireland and mess with their leprechauns.
Teacher: Exactly.
Kid #2: You don’t mess with Ireland’s leprechauns.

MHS German class
Overheard by Irish AND German.

Science substitute teacher: See, milk doesn’t just come from jugs… so to speak.

MHS
Overheard by ewww.

Guy: How come Russia gets all that land and no one lives there?

MHS

Teenage girl: Ugh, when is halftime?

MHS Oklahoma play

Woman: Ahh! The dog farted! What, did he sh-t in his pants?
Daughter: His pants?

Minnetonka
Overheard by you mean his underwear.