Posts Tagged ‘minnetonka’
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I’ll Be Impressed When You Like Your Toes
Man in casual business attire: I’ll lick my finger, and I don’t know where it’s been.
Minnetonka, cube farm
Overheard by really? not even a clue? -
They’re Talking About The Font
Female coworker, to male coworker as they are sitting closely looking at a spreadsheet: Wow. That’s BIG!
Male coworker: No, it’s not that big. I’ve had much bigger.Minnetonka, Whitewater building
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Buying Yourself Flowers Is Probably Easier
Mother: Well, when I was a kid, I felt a little lonely. I had this great idea to get a boy to ask me out. I tape recorded myself in a low voice saying “Hey, can I speak to Lula*? ” Then I would pause, so there would be time to go get me. Then I called me and played the tape back over one end of the phone. Soon, I would come on the phone and… I asked me out. (pause) You can see now what this has done for my self-confidence.
Minnetonka, The General Store
Overheard by hey there little lady. -
One Word: Lettuce
Geeky guy: It takes me, like, 2 hours to poop!
Minnetonka, Best Buy
Overheard by Has enough fiber in her diet. -
Social Grace
Older lady: You might know my sister Laura?
Checkout lady: OH MY GOSH! I love your sister! She’s great.
Older lady: Yep, that’s her.
Checkout lady: You guys are sisters? You look nothing alike!
Older lady: (laughs) We’re sisters.
Checkout lady: Really? You really don’t look alike; different dads maybe?
(awkward silence)Minnetonka, Ridgedale Macy’s
Overheard by yikes. -
HULK WEAR SHOE
Guy, announcing as he gets on the bus: These are my DESTRUCTION shoes!
Minnetonka, MHS, bus ride home
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Now We’re Blaming The Stores
Target Employee to Another: The way the store is set up is to make the child misbehave and be tempted.
Minnetonka, Super Target
Overheard by Hilary! -
It’s Not Complicated
Bartender while making drinks for two drunk guys: All the ice is melting so I’m having some trouble.
Drunk guy: That’s all right, I don’t need any more ice, I’m not interested in it.
(Apparently) Drunker Guy: I’m totally interested in where it’s been and where it’s going.Minnetonka, The Boathouse
Overheard by WTF does that even mean dude?! -
DON’T EAT THAT
Boy (to Dairy Queen cashier): Um, excuse me… I ordered a thin mint blizzard and you gave me this applesauce.
Cashier: Huh, that’s weird. I didn’t even know we had applesauce.
Boy: Well neither did I, but apparently…
Cashier (to other cashier): Kyla, why’d we give this boy applesauce? (to boy) Is it any good?
Boy: Well, it’s pretty good. (sips applesauce) A little warm, but good.Minnetonka Mills Dairy Queen
Overheard by hahahaha. -
He Ran Out Of Butt Nickles
Girl: Ben, you can’t just go throwing around your penis quarter at anyone. Some people don’t like that too much.
Minnetonka Mills
Overheard by well that’s odd. -
She’s Trying To Cheat You
Blonde Female Teen (to friend): Here. I’ll trade you her right boob for the left side of her crotch.
Minnetonka, on the street
Overheard by I’m really glad I’m not her. -
That Remains True
Guy #1: Hey dude, we saw your exact look-a-like tonight at the bar!
Guy #2: Fuck no, nobody’s this good looking.Apartment parking lot in Minnetonka
Overheard by udderly mooooving. -
It’s Always 5:00pm Somewhere
20-something girl (loudly): I lost my boyfriend!
Friend (on phone, half paying attention): Have you been drinking?Macaroni Grill entrance, Minnetonka
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You Need Water For That, Too
Daughter: Let’s buy water!
Mom: Who needs water when you have Crystal Light!Target, Ridgedale
Overheard by wow. -
Let’s Postpone The Color Lesson
Girl #1: Look! It’s like a train!
Girl #2: Chugga chugga, chugga chugga… Quack quack!Minnetonka Mills
Overheard by concerned friend. -
Only For An Extra $.59
Guy #1, to Dairy Queen employee: We were wondering…
Guy #2: Can you guarantee nirvana in our moo-lattes?Minnetonka DQ
Overheard by $1.99 for spiritual enlightenment? -
Wet Tee-Shirt Contests Are Getting So Ugly
Girl to friends: I always win though… and it’s pretty easy. I just hit him until he takes it off.
Lake Street Extension
Overheard by disturbed onlooker. -
Now Can We Just Stop Handing Out Prescriptions To Kids?
Elementary school girl to sister: Have you ever sat on really hot bleachers? If so, try my new Anus Sack! Just add ice to the pouch and sit for instant cooling! I also attached some silverware, some scissors, some glue, some oats, some floss, some tapioca pudding, a pack of flashcards, a pencil, and some Children’s Motrin. You know… just in case.
Minnetonka Mills Dunn Bros.
Overheard by i’d buy that. -
Cosmo Is Just Getting Worse
Girl #1: I want her face.
Girl #2: I want her boobs!
Girl #3: I want her CROTCH!
Girls #1 and 2: No, I want the crotch!!
Girl #3 (solemnly): Alright. We’ll have to split the crotch three ways.Minnetonka neighborhood
Overheard by hmm… -
Because They So Obviously Require Less Maintenance
Girl in personal products aisle (to no one in particular): I’m so glad I don’t have a penis.
Ridgedale Target
Overheard by well i think they’re great!
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