College-aged guy, bragging after beating a friend at a James Bond arcade game: Dude, I totally dominated Ken in some hardcore Bond action.
College-aged friend: You did what?!

Mall of America
Overheard by leather daddy.

Large Man to Young Sales Woman: What’s your biggest size in the polos?
Sales Woman: Our largest size is a triple extra large.
Large Man: All right! That’s what I’m talking about! It’s not like I’m Japanese or anything.

Lacoste Store at the Mall of America
Overheard by you can’t be fat and Japanese?

20-Something Daughter: Mom, can you hand me the scissors?
Mom: Not right now, I’m doing kegels.

Archiver’s, MOA
Overheard by Tara.

Middle-Aged Dad to daughter: Have I told you about the transvestites in San Francisco?

MOA
Overheard by Jane Leroy.

Girl digging in her bag: Where’s my Vitamin Water?
Bored boyfriend: Maybe ninjas took it.
Girl, looking up: What? (eyes narrow) You took it while we were in Forever 21, didn’t you?
Bored Boyfriend: Nope. Ninjas.
Girl: Fine, then you owe me dinner.
Bored boyfriend: And you owe me the last four hours of my life back.

Mall of American food court line
Overheard by Shopaholics Anonymous.

Preppy Boy to other preppy boy: I think a lot of people know about World War II.

MOA - Barnes & Noble
Overheard by Yeah, I think I’ve heard of it…

Idiot #1 in bathroom stall: Have you heard of that Pineapple Express?
Idiot #2: Oh yeah! That’s that new smoothie place in the mall!

MOA bathroom

Pre-teen boy shopping with female relatives to total stranger outside the dressing rooms: I just want you to know, I’m not gay.

MOA
Overheard by I’m not here by choice, either.

Girl #1 in dressing room: I just don’t want to clash with his style, you know?
Girl #2 in same dressing room, loudly: What, crackhead?
Fitting room attendant: GIRLS, ONLY ONE PERSON IN A FITTING ROOM AT A TIME.

Mall of America Forever 21
Overheard by Dressing Room #16.

High school girl wearing her aviators in the Mall of America: Ooh. When you’re done at H&M, let’s get craps. I love those craps.

MOA
Overheard by They really need the phonetic pronounciation on the menu

A very distraught, older lady walking with her bored-looking husband: I don’t know. He calls it emo.

MOA
Overheard by Man on a Mission.

Precocious preschooler to older woman walking with him (as he points to a rack of bras): You need new boobs Gram!

Nordstrom’s Rack, MOA
Overheard by You surely do Ma’am.

15 year old scene queen after trying on a t-shirt and walking out of the fitting room: I can’t believe I couldn’t fit into the youth large and have to buy an adult small.
Friend:  That’s because you ate.

Hot Topic, MOA
Overheard by You look fat when you cry.

Crazy old woman talking to a young child that doesn’t belong to her: You’d better stay away from those sting rays, that’s what killed The Crocodile Hunter! (child continues to touch the sting rays)

Underwater World, Mall of America
Overheard by well…she’s right.

Woman pointing to a dress: That’s nice and flowy. Not for me, but totally something Christine would wear.
Friend, indifferent: Oh yeah, Christine.
Woman: She throws up her food though.
Friend, trailing off: Oh yeah, that’s right.

Arden B Store, MOA
Overheard by Alexis.

Screaming 8-year old girl: I wanna go on another ride!!
Her Mother (wearily): Come on, I just want to get out of this place.

Nickelodeon Park at the MOA
Overheard by Please take me with you.

Teenage girl: Hey, its one of those hand-washing bowl things.
Mid-20’s co-worker: You mean a sink?

Mall of America
Overheard by Were you raised in a barn?

Guy: You remember when the 35W bridge fell down? None of my family called me. None! So, I sent an email to them: “Just so you guys know, I was almost on that bridge!”

Mall of America store
Overheard by I think I know why they never call…

Hilariously Irate Mom to small daughter: I told you not to drink that! I told you! Now you’re sick! Yeah, they shouldn’t call it “Propel Fitness Water”, They should call it “Propel Sickness Water”! I told you not to drink it! Now you sick!

Mall of America
Overheard by Must have been the peach flavor..

20-something hipster guy: I’ve decided which celebrity I look like.
20-something not-so-hip girl: Um… okay?
20-something hipster guy: James Dean in East of Eden.
20-something not-so-hip girl: Wait, isn’t that the one where Rosie O’Donnell is the leather-clad dominatrix?
20-something hipster guy: (blank stare) I… um…

Mall of America
Overheard by maybe they don’t belong together…?