30th September 2008

You Were Thinking It, Too

College-aged guy, bragging after beating a friend at a James Bond arcade game: Dude, I totally dominated Ken in some hardcore Bond action.
College-aged friend: You did what?!

Mall of America
Overheard by leather daddy.

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28th September 2008

It’s Not Like You’re In Japan Or Anything

Large Man to Young Sales Woman: What’s your biggest size in the polos?
Sales Woman: Our largest size is a triple extra large.
Large Man: All right! That’s what I’m talking about! It’s not like I’m Japanese or anything.

Lacoste Store at the Mall of America
Overheard by you can’t be fat and Japanese?

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11th September 2008

That’s Not Safe

20-Something Daughter: Mom, can you hand me the scissors?
Mom: Not right now, I’m doing kegels.

Archiver’s, MOA
Overheard by Tara.

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29th August 2008

A Conversation For A Special Occasion

Middle-Aged Dad to daughter: Have I told you about the transvestites in San Francisco?

MOA
Overheard by Jane Leroy.

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26th August 2008

With Interest

Girl digging in her bag: Where’s my Vitamin Water?
Bored boyfriend: Maybe ninjas took it.
Girl, looking up: What? (eyes narrow) You took it while we were in Forever 21, didn’t you?
Bored Boyfriend: Nope. Ninjas.
Girl: Fine, then you owe me dinner.
Bored boyfriend: And you owe me the last four hours of my life back.

Mall of American food court line
Overheard by Shopaholics Anonymous.

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26th August 2008

The Saga Continues

Preppy Boy to other preppy boy: I think a lot of people know about World War II.

MOA - Barnes & Noble
Overheard by Yeah, I think I’ve heard of it…

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22nd August 2008

They’re Good But Their Smoothies Always Make Me Feel Funny

Idiot #1 in bathroom stall: Have you heard of that Pineapple Express?
Idiot #2: Oh yeah! That’s that new smoothie place in the mall!

MOA bathroom

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19th August 2008

Alert The News!

Pre-teen boy shopping with female relatives to total stranger outside the dressing rooms: I just want you to know, I’m not gay.

MOA
Overheard by I’m not here by choice, either.

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17th August 2008

Crackhead Is The New Pink

Girl #1 in dressing room: I just don’t want to clash with his style, you know?
Girl #2 in same dressing room, loudly: What, crackhead?
Fitting room attendant: GIRLS, ONLY ONE PERSON IN A FITTING ROOM AT A TIME.

Mall of America Forever 21
Overheard by Dressing Room #16.

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11th August 2008

They’re Best When They’re Fresh

High school girl wearing her aviators in the Mall of America: Ooh. When you’re done at H&M, let’s get craps. I love those craps.

MOA
Overheard by They really need the phonetic pronounciation on the menu

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31st July 2008

Don’t Worry, It’s Just A Phase

A very distraught, older lady walking with her bored-looking husband: I don’t know. He calls it emo.

MOA
Overheard by Man on a Mission.

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24th July 2008

Yeah But The Bra Is Cheaper

Precocious preschooler to older woman walking with him (as he points to a rack of bras): You need new boobs Gram!

Nordstrom’s Rack, MOA
Overheard by You surely do Ma’am.

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22nd July 2008

Will The World Ever Make Sense Again?

15 year old scene queen after trying on a t-shirt and walking out of the fitting room: I can’t believe I couldn’t fit into the youth large and have to buy an adult small.
Friend:  That’s because you ate.

Hot Topic, MOA
Overheard by You look fat when you cry.

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14th July 2008

The World Is A Scary Place

Crazy old woman talking to a young child that doesn’t belong to her: You’d better stay away from those sting rays, that’s what killed The Crocodile Hunter! (child continues to touch the sting rays)

Underwater World, Mall of America
Overheard by well…she’s right.

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7th July 2008

Nothing To Be Concerned About

Woman pointing to a dress: That’s nice and flowy. Not for me, but totally something Christine would wear.
Friend, indifferent: Oh yeah, Christine.
Woman: She throws up her food though.
Friend, trailing off: Oh yeah, that’s right.

Arden B Store, MOA
Overheard by Alexis.

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2nd July 2008

That’s A Hard Lesson Learned

Screaming 8-year old girl: I wanna go on another ride!!
Her Mother (wearily): Come on, I just want to get out of this place.

Nickelodeon Park at the MOA
Overheard by Please take me with you.

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26th June 2008

Sure, Why Not?

Teenage girl: Hey, its one of those hand-washing bowl things.
Mid-20’s co-worker: You mean a sink?

Mall of America
Overheard by Were you raised in a barn?

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28th May 2008

Layin’ Down The Smack

Guy: You remember when the 35W bridge fell down? None of my family called me. None! So, I sent an email to them: “Just so you guys know, I was almost on that bridge!”

Mall of America store
Overheard by I think I know why they never call…

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23rd May 2008

This Is Why I Go To The Mall

Hilariously Irate Mom to small daughter: I told you not to drink that! I told you! Now you’re sick! Yeah, they shouldn’t call it “Propel Fitness Water”, They should call it “Propel Sickness Water”! I told you not to drink it! Now you sick!

Mall of America
Overheard by Must have been the peach flavor..

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21st May 2008

Oh, That Takes Me Back

20-something hipster guy: I’ve decided which celebrity I look like.
20-something not-so-hip girl: Um… okay?
20-something hipster guy: James Dean in East of Eden.
20-something not-so-hip girl: Wait, isn’t that the one where Rosie O’Donnell is the leather-clad dominatrix?
20-something hipster guy: (blank stare) I… um…

Mall of America
Overheard by maybe they don’t belong together…?

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