A very distraught, older lady walking with her bored-looking husband: I don’t know. He calls it emo.

MOA
Overheard by Man on a Mission.

Precocious preschooler to older woman walking with him (as he points to a rack of bras): You need new boobs Gram!

Nordstrom’s Rack, MOA
Overheard by You surely do Ma’am.

15 year old scene queen after trying on a t-shirt and walking out of the fitting room: I can’t believe I couldn’t fit into the youth large and have to buy an adult small.
Friend:  That’s because you ate.

Hot Topic, MOA
Overheard by You look fat when you cry.

Crazy old woman talking to a young child that doesn’t belong to her: You’d better stay away from those sting rays, that’s what killed The Crocodile Hunter! (child continues to touch the sting rays)

Underwater World, Mall of America
Overheard by well…she’s right.

Woman pointing to a dress: That’s nice and flowy. Not for me, but totally something Christine would wear.
Friend, indifferent: Oh yeah, Christine.
Woman: She throws up her food though.
Friend, trailing off: Oh yeah, that’s right.

Arden B Store, MOA
Overheard by Alexis.

Screaming 8-year old girl: I wanna go on another ride!!
Her Mother (wearily): Come on, I just want to get out of this place.

Nickelodeon Park at the MOA
Overheard by Please take me with you.

Teenage girl: Hey, its one of those hand-washing bowl things.
Mid-20’s co-worker: You mean a sink?

Mall of America
Overheard by Were you raised in a barn?

Guy: You remember when the 35W bridge fell down? None of my family called me. None! So, I sent an email to them: “Just so you guys know, I was almost on that bridge!”

Mall of America store
Overheard by I think I know why they never call…

Hilariously Irate Mom to small daughter: I told you not to drink that! I told you! Now you’re sick! Yeah, they shouldn’t call it “Propel Fitness Water”, They should call it “Propel Sickness Water”! I told you not to drink it! Now you sick!

Mall of America
Overheard by Must have been the peach flavor..

20-something hipster guy: I’ve decided which celebrity I look like.
20-something not-so-hip girl: Um… okay?
20-something hipster guy: James Dean in East of Eden.
20-something not-so-hip girl: Wait, isn’t that the one where Rosie O’Donnell is the leather-clad dominatrix?
20-something hipster guy: (blank stare) I… um…

Mall of America
Overheard by maybe they don’t belong together…?

Lady #1 in bathroom stall Lady #2: I’m a blonde now.
Lady #2: Oh, yeah.
Lady #1: I heard blondes have more fun. I’ll let you know when the divorce is final.

Nordstroms bathroom at MOA
Overheard by Brunettes have fun too!

Father (to his wife): I’m the man of the family, I can take care of this. Who wears the pants in this family?
Young Son: (excited gasp) I wear pants!
Father: But I wear the Big Boy pants.

MOA
Overheard by And I don’t wear diapers, either.

Employee:  No, I think I already know everything I need to know about the plague, actually.

MOA B&N
Overheard by Does she have personal experience?

Young mom with small baby: Are you serious?  I have to go out to a special place in the parking lot to smoke a cigarette? I have a BABY with me.  I don’t want to take him out in the parking lot.

Mall of America
Overheard by Strolling Amok.

Ghetto Girl #1 (eyeing a book in a bag her friend is holding, looks disgusted): That ain’t a book, is it?! (rips book from bag, flips quickly through it without looking at cover, appalled, as if she’s never seen a book before)
Ghetto Girl #2 looks down, ashamed.
Ghetto Girl: You ain’t gonna READ it, is you?!

MOA bus stop
Overheard by an English major.

Sparkle-y 15 yr old girl:  Krissy, I’m so glad I’m not you.
Krissy:  Why?
15 yr old girl:  Because, you’re like, so lonely and stuff.  And you’re sad all the time.
Krissy, staring down at her frozen yogurt: Yeah.
One of the girls’ moms:  Girls, you wanna head over to Claires?
15 yr old girl:  Yeah!  I wanna get some new eyeshadow.  Some that has glitter in it.
Krissy:  Yeah.  Me too, I guess.

MoA foodcourt
Overheard by She can put glitter on her eyelids, but she can’t put glitter into her soul.

Lane Bryant worker:  Can I help you find something?
Middle-aged Ghetto Woman: Yeah, I’m looking for something that lifts, separates, shapes… all that shit!

Lane Bryant, MOA
Overheard by TMI.

Girl to friend at Forever 21: Remember, there is always H&M. We shouldn’t ever settle for less than we deserve.

Dressing rooms at Forever 21 - Mall of America
Overheard by Deserving of $7 Shirts.

Girl on escalator to roommate: You know, since I started living with you and listening to you having sex down the hallway, the list of things that upset me has greatly diminished.
Roommate: Well, glad I could help.

Mall of America, East Side escalators
Overheard by always appreciate a helpful roommate.

Restaurant hostess: So, are you folks from out of town?
Canadian diner: Yes, from Canada.
Restaurant hostess: Canada? Wow! We’ve had people from everywhere today. Canada… Winnipeg… Manitoba…

Bubba Gump Shrimp Company, Mall of America
Overheard by An impressive geographical range indeed.