Mom half laughing to tweenager girl: You, stop calling people crack heads. (Then to toddler) And you, stop saying crack! That’s awful!

Midtown Target
Overheard by Taking my break at the table next to theirs.

Mom, to preteen son: If you don’t straighten up your act, I’m sending you back to school with all Hannah Montana notebooks!

Roseville Target
Overheard by That’ll teach him

Checkout lady while ringing up melamine lunch trays: We have these! My kids love ‘em. They like to pretend they are in jail. Give me some of that slop, mom!

Burnsville Target
Overheard by your mom.

Crazy guy to random stranger and her kids: You know what I see? I see three beautiful women.
Woman, slightly annoyed: This one’s a boy.
Crazy guy: Really? You need a haircut. So, you’re a boy, huh?
Androgynous little boy: Bah! (tries to punch crazy man)
Crazy guy: I guess he just wants to be left alone.

The 67 in Saint Paul
Overheard by I bet you get that a lot.

Stereotypical Family Man with Mini-Van: Brendan finished all of his milk!
Stereotypical Soccer Mom next to him: Three cheers for Brendan!!!
Brendan’s little brother, Mom, and Dad: Hip Hip Hooray!!! Hip Hip Hooray!!!

Tiny Neighborhood Cafe in St Paul
Overheard by Girl behind the counter.

Young child to mother while entering Gooseberry Falls National Park: Ooh! I smell the gooseberries!
Mother: No, honey.  You’re just smelling nature.

Gooseberry Falls National Park, Two Harbors
Overheard by I thought they were *part* of nature…

4 year old girl screaming and crying at the top of her lungs repeatedly for minutes: BUT I WANT THE TOY! I WANT IT MOMMY! WHY CAN’T I HAVE IT?! IT’S NOT FAIR!!!
Mom: Well, it’s time for you to learn that life isn’t fair.

Target Plymouth
Overheard by: Hopin’ that little girl grows up to be her mom’s parole officer.

Little girl to popsicle: And then I’m going to lick you and suck on you until you melt all over me.
Her concerned mother: KELLY! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK TO POPSICLES!

French Regional Park

Little girl: Mommy, this place has everything we need.  They have soap and lotion and stuff for kitties, but we don’t need that.
Mom: No, we don’t have a kitty.
Little girl: But they have everything!

Walmart
Overheard by a.lil.

Daughter: Let’s buy water!
Mom: Who needs water when you have Crystal Light!

Target, Ridgedale
Overheard by wow.

Mom #1: How is Timmy’s [unknown sport] going? Will he be a high draft pick?
Mom #2: If he keeps only giving up two or three goals a game, he is going to get drafted really high.

Apple Valley Walmart
Overheard by Hockey? Soccer? Lacrosse?  The kid is terrible either way.

Mother talking to Stylist: Yes, it was just so gnarly.
Mortified Daughter: Mom! Don’t EVER use that word again.  PLEASE!
Mother, confused: What?? Gnarly?
Even more Mortified Daughter: YES!! Please! Just don’t say it EVER again, okay?
(Mother shrugs shoulders)
Stylist: Don’t be mean to your mother!

Uptown Salon SaBel
Overheard by Snicker.

Little kid in bathroom stall, to his mom: Mommy, is it the button on the side here to flush?
Mother, in stall next to him: Yes, honey.
Little kid: (long pause)  But I’m scared.
Mother, reassuringly: It’s a brand new toilet honey, you don’t need to be scared.

New Walmart, Austin MN
Overheard by …but you should be scared of the old toilets.

Teenage Girl #1: That would SO never happen. The ugly guy never gets the girl.
Teenage Girl #2: I KNOW. She would so be looking for a hotter guy.
Concerned Mom behind them: They’re robots. It’s a movie, and you missed the point. She loves his personality.
Teenage Girl #1: Fuck personality. I want money and a hot guy.
Guy Staring at Young Teenager: That can be arranged.

AMC Arbor Lakes 16
Overheard by Ironic…who thought that Wall E had a good message.

Mother: Stop calling him that, it’s not a very nice name!
4-year old boy: What’s not a very nice name?
Mother: Chunky.
4-year old boy: But his name is Chunky.
Mother: No it’s not, it’s Thomas.

Isles Bun & Coffee, Uptown
Overheard by thankfully, not Thomas’ mother.

Mother to pre-teen girl carrying her little sister on her back: I hope she doesn’t pee on your back

Target-Midway
Overheard by I hope so too.

Mother to her son: Pac Man, get your ass over here.

Regal Movie Theater Brooklyn Center
Overheard by Waiting for my popcorn.

Screaming 8-year old girl: I wanna go on another ride!!
Her Mother (wearily): Come on, I just want to get out of this place.

Nickelodeon Park at the MOA
Overheard by Please take me with you.

Mother (to daughter): Hey, you could get a job at Build-A-Bear.
Exasperated Daughter: No I couldn’t, they have to wear khaki pants AND denim shirts.

Ridgedale Mall
Overheard by what’s wrong with that?

Young mother: Where the HELL is my son?!

JC Penney’s in Rosedale Center
Overheard by you should know these things…