Mother talking to Stylist: Yes, it was just so gnarly.
Mortified Daughter: Mom! Don’t EVER use that word again.  PLEASE!
Mother, confused: What?? Gnarly?
Even more Mortified Daughter: YES!! Please! Just don’t say it EVER again, okay?
(Mother shrugs shoulders)
Stylist: Don’t be mean to your mother!

Uptown Salon SaBel
Overheard by Snicker.

Little kid in bathroom stall, to his mom: Mommy, is it the button on the side here to flush?
Mother, in stall next to him: Yes, honey.
Little kid: (long pause)  But I’m scared.
Mother, reassuringly: It’s a brand new toilet honey, you don’t need to be scared.

New Walmart, Austin MN
Overheard by …but you should be scared of the old toilets.

Teenage Girl #1: That would SO never happen. The ugly guy never gets the girl.
Teenage Girl #2: I KNOW. She would so be looking for a hotter guy.
Concerned Mom behind them: They’re robots. It’s a movie, and you missed the point. She loves his personality.
Teenage Girl #1: Fuck personality. I want money and a hot guy.
Guy Staring at Young Teenager: That can be arranged.

AMC Arbor Lakes 16
Overheard by Ironic…who thought that Wall E had a good message.

Mother: Stop calling him that, it’s not a very nice name!
4-year old boy: What’s not a very nice name?
Mother: Chunky.
4-year old boy: But his name is Chunky.
Mother: No it’s not, it’s Thomas.

Isles Bun & Coffee, Uptown
Overheard by thankfully, not Thomas’ mother.

Mother to pre-teen girl carrying her little sister on her back: I hope she doesn’t pee on your back

Target-Midway
Overheard by I hope so too.

Mother to her son: Pac Man, get your ass over here.

Regal Movie Theater Brooklyn Center
Overheard by Waiting for my popcorn.

Screaming 8-year old girl: I wanna go on another ride!!
Her Mother (wearily): Come on, I just want to get out of this place.

Nickelodeon Park at the MOA
Overheard by Please take me with you.

Mother (to daughter): Hey, you could get a job at Build-A-Bear.
Exasperated Daughter: No I couldn’t, they have to wear khaki pants AND denim shirts.

Ridgedale Mall
Overheard by what’s wrong with that?

Young mother: Where the HELL is my son?!

JC Penney’s in Rosedale Center
Overheard by you should know these things…

Little girl, referring to Sikh man in front of her wearing a turban and traditional clothing: What kind of man is that mommy?
Mom: I think he is Middle Eastern.
Little girl: Is he is like Aladdin?
Mom: (a quiet) Shhh.

waiting in line at SA in Minneapolis
Overheard by Wishing for more wishes.

6 year old genius boy: Mom, you should get this one because it has no trans fat.
Mom: Mmm hmmm…
6 year old genius boy: The single one is two dollars, so if you just buy the single it’s actually more cheaper than each one in the value pack.
Mom: It’s “cheaper” not “more cheaper”.

Woodbury Target
Overheard by yeah, dummy!  (p.s. can I take you home with me?!)

Small Child (in shopping cart, pointing at shelf): Oh look, Mommy, yummy marshmallows!
Mom: No, Henry, those are dishwasher tablets.

Blaine Super Target
Overheard by The Elderly Multigravida.

Dad:  Put the dog down, let him walk.
Mom:  I don’t want Paulie to walk.
Kid: *sounding tired* Can I have a drink now?
Mom:  Yes, because Paulie’s thirsty too.  *long pause*  Not because Paulie’s more important than you…

Stone Arch Festival
Overheard by Gracen.

7-year-old boy to mom: Mom, since you give me everything I want, can you give me $500?
Mom:  Um… no.

Blaine Taco Bell
Overheard by Mom–long time, no see!

Mom: Wait, Becca. What about these short?
Becca: This is, like, the old lady section.
Mom: I think they’re nice.

Macy’s Rosedale (Becca’s right)
Overheard by Ed.

Mother of 3, scrambling through the toy isle trying to calm down 2 of them: Yes, he’s 6 and you’re 3. He’s older than you, so put your clothes back on.

Toy isle of Target in St Paul
Overheard by Totovader.

Mother to daughter: I wanted to like yogurt growing up, but I hated it. I just kept trying to like it, but I had to eat it over the toilet because I just kept puking it up.

Rainbow Foods, Apple Valley, MN
Overheard by Melissa.

Little guy in shopping cart: Mom, what are fish sticks made of?
Tired Momma: Fish. You know, the inside part.
Little Guy: Is the insides meat?
Tired Momma: Huh-uh.
(15 seconds elapse)
Little Guy: (GASP!) Are the insides of people meat?
Tired Mom: I guess so.
Little Guy: Okay, just don’t buy people sticks, mom. I won’t eat ‘em.

Super Target in Roseville
Overheard by Another Tired Momma.

Overenthusiastic mom with five kids: Don’t you just love this job?!
Tired teenage lifeguard: Ma’am, this job is the best form of birth control ever.
Oldest of the five kids: Yeah, my mom was never a lifeguard.

Aquatic Center
Overheard by Fellow Lifeguard.

My mother, to two black teenage boys with long braided hair: Could you ladies step back from the railing so the people behind you can see the game?

Metrodome
Overheard by One very embarrassed Alexis.