Posts Tagged ‘msp’

  • It Was Worth A Shot

    Date: 2011.12.13 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Passenger, while looking confused at the check-in kiosk: Ma’am, can you give me a hand with this?
    Agent, without skipping a beat: I’ll hold your hand, but I won’t go all the way with you.

    Minneapolis-St. Paul Int’l Airport- Terminal 1, US Airways ticket counter
    Overheard by Listening4Laughs.

  • He Goes To Public School

    Date: 2010.07.07 | Category: all | Response: 2

    Mother: Wait, how would you know what Magic Hat is?
    Son: Why wouldn’t I?
    Mother: It’s beer! You’re TWELVE.

    MSP Airport
    Overheard by Atta boy.

  • You Don’t Want To Miss That

    Date: 2010.01.29 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Child #1: Are you gonna sleep on the plane?
    Child #2: Yeah.
    Child #1, very serious: I’ll wake you if we’re gonna die, OK? I’ll wake you if we’re gonna die.

    MSP Airport, during takeoff on a plane bound for Florida
    Overheard by Now Afraid to Fly.

  • His Gun Shoots “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”

    Date: 2009.10.26 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Guy dressed like a soldier in Vietnam: I AM a soldier, and this is my fucking M-16! (He indicates a banjo he’s carrying.)
    College student: Can your gun fire off a few rounds of Ralph Stanley?
    Guy dressed like a soldier in Vietnam: No man… that’s not a bullet; that’s a fucking missile.
    College student: So, what’s a nuclear bomb?
    Guy dressed like a soldier in Vietnam: The Rainbow Connection!

    MSP Airport
    Overheard by Ironic, who wonders what kind of scorched Earth the Muppets leave.

  • Can’t Wait!

    Date: 2009.08.17 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Little boy in bathroom stall next to me: Mom! It’s not all coming out!
    Mom in stall with boy: It’s okay, just keep trying.
    Little boy (crying hysterically): Mom, I can’t get it out! (more crying, flushing) Mom, it didn’t all come out!!!
    Mom: It’s okay, I’ll give you some prunes when we get home.

    Airport bathroom
    Overheard by I like prunes.

  • She’ll Need A Bigger Farm

    Date: 2009.08.14 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Middle-aged guy on cell phone: She says she wants to do large animals.

    MSP
    Overheard by they never call back, though.

  • Economics

    Date: 2009.05.17 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Older man returning from international flight to friend: I just buy a cell phone when I get there. I use it to talk to girls and stuff, you know. Then I just give the phone to my daughter to use until the minutes are up.

    MSP
    Overheard by Ewww!

  • That 9 Hour Flight Is Going To Be Painful

    Date: 2009.05.08 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Woman to unattentive husband:  …it’s the attack of the radioactive bunnies.  It’s kind of like the spiders, only they’re radioactive.  Do you know what I’m talking about? (silence) The bunnies?

    MSP Lindbergh Terminal
    Overheard by vennic.

  • It Must Have Been So Awesome

    Date: 2009.04.16 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Woman waiting at gate on cell phone: You’ll never guess who I sat next to on my last flight. (millisecond pause) Elton John’s stage manager’s wife!

    Minneapolis, Lindberg Terminal
    Overheard by she’s so nice in person.

  • Braces Just Add Texture

    Date: 2008.12.04 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Spoiled girl in the security line: No, it’s not a fake!  Like I would use a fake ID at the AIRPORT! Whatever, I look hot in my ID picture.  Except I, like, have braces.  And I’m going to be buying alcohol with this ID!

    MSP Airport
    Overheard by um, you are not hot.

  • It Didn’t Snow That Much

    Date: 2008.12.03 | Category: all | Response: 0

    High-maintenance middle aged woman after missing her flight: I am VERY upset right now!! I need to get to Orlando. (long pause) ORLANDO!!!!!!!!!

    Minneapolis, Airport

  • I Bet A Lot Of People Don’t Understand That Woman

    Date: 2008.12.02 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Irate mother: No, you don’t understand.  I need to board that plane now!
    Stewardess at gate: Ma’am, you cannot board now.  There is no airplane at the end of the jetway.  Look – no plane out there.

    MSP airport, American Airlines gate
    Overheard by delayed flights always make me irrational too.

  • Larry Craig’s Other Bathroom Pastime

    Date: 2008.12.01 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Officer, to sleeping guy in bathroom stall: Hey, are you okay?
    Drunk guy: Yep, I’m cool.
    Officer: You need to come out of there.
    Drunk guy: Hold on, I’m playing poker with all my buddies in here. They suck at it!

    MSP Airport
    Overheard by Luckily I didn’t use that stall.

  • He Might Need Two

    Date: 2008.11.11 | Category: all | Response: 0

    NWA Stewardess: Want anything to drink?
    Passenger: Uh, what do you have?
    NWA Stewardess: Beer, orange juice, water…
    Passenger: I’ll have a beer.
    NWA Stewardess: What kind?
    Passenger: (not having memorized drink menu) Uh, Heineken?
    NWA Stewardess: We don’t have Heineken.  Not on domestic flights.
    Passenger: (staring at her) Well, what kind do you have?
    NWA Stewardess: (rolling eyes) Budweiser, MGD, and Firebrick.
    Passenger: I guess I’ll have that last one.
    NWA Stewardess: I don’t remember what I said.
    Two passengers beside him: FIREBRICK.

    Somewhere over Minneapolis, Northwest Airlines flight to Idaho
    Overheard by sxoidmal.

  • My Presence Was A Total Accident

    Date: 2008.09.30 | Category: all | Response: 0

    25-year old Guy #1: Dude, I saw these super hot chicks on the U of M campus today.  Like, super ridiculously hot.
    Guy #2: What were you doing on campus?
    25-year old Guy #1: I don’t know, but they were hot.

    Humphrey Terminal Station
    Overheard by weak end.

  • Take Your Chances In The Plane Bathroom

    Date: 2008.08.11 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Father: You need to empty your bladder before the flight!
    Daughter: (high voice) I don’t wanna!!!
    Father: (unashamedly getting louder) You NEED to empty your bladder before the flight!

    MSP Airport

  • And That’s Information We Did Not Need To Know

    Date: 2008.07.24 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Woman on phone: Hey, remind me when you get that thing on your back checked out to have a look at that other gooey thing. Cuz that’s a boo boo that needs to be checked out right away.

    Minneapolis-St Paul airport
    Overheard by SCH.

  • Building The Foundations For Success

    Date: 2008.07.08 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Crazy Woman on cell phone: Yeah you know, I just… I really think we’re meant to be together. I can’t stop thinking about you. I
    mean I feel bad I lost you. (brief pause) But I mean I saw this psychic and she said we’re totally meant to be, so yeah. (pause again) Well, I mean if you don’t care that I slept with so many guys while we were together maybe we could try again?

    Plane before taking off
    Overheard by Aiden.

  • Cross Your Fingers

    Date: 2008.07.07 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Teenager to dad: Are the pilots professionals?

    Boarding a NWA flight from Mpls to Vegas
    Overheard by Samantha.

  • That’s Not How It Works

    Date: 2008.06.29 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Little Boy #1:  How much do you weigh?
    Little Boy #2:  I weigh 60!
    Little Boy #1:  I weigh less than you, I weigh 70!

    Where: MSP Airport
    Overheard by: glad to see No Child Left Behind is working effectively…