25-year old Guy #1: Dude, I saw these super hot chicks on the U of M campus today.  Like, super ridiculously hot.
Guy #2: What were you doing on campus?
25-year old Guy #1: I don’t know, but they were hot.

Humphrey Terminal Station
Overheard by weak end.

Father: You need to empty your bladder before the flight!
Daughter: (high voice) I don’t wanna!!!
Father: (unashamedly getting louder) You NEED to empty your bladder before the flight!

MSP Airport

Woman on phone: Hey, remind me when you get that thing on your back checked out to have a look at that other gooey thing. Cuz that’s a boo boo that needs to be checked out right away.

Minneapolis-St Paul airport
Overheard by SCH.

Crazy Woman on cell phone: Yeah you know, I just… I really think we’re meant to be together. I can’t stop thinking about you. I
mean I feel bad I lost you. (brief pause) But I mean I saw this psychic and she said we’re totally meant to be, so yeah. (pause again) Well, I mean if you don’t care that I slept with so many guys while we were together maybe we could try again?

Plane before taking off
Overheard by Aiden.

Teenager to dad: Are the pilots professionals?

Boarding a NWA flight from Mpls to Vegas
Overheard by Samantha.

Little Boy #1:  How much do you weigh?
Little Boy #2:  I weigh 60!
Little Boy #1:  I weigh less than you, I weigh 70!

Where: MSP Airport
Overheard by: glad to see No Child Left Behind is working effectively…

Very Old Black Woman #1:  And you know, you know what they did? They took my apple juice.  They wouldn’t let me take my apple juice.
Very Old Black Woman #2:  They let me take my booze, because I’m diabetic.
Very Old Black Woman #1:  They took my apple juice.
Very Old Black Woman #2:  You gotta tell ‘em you’re diabetic.  They let me keep my booze, you gotta tell ‘em.
Very Old Black Woman #1:  I told them I was diabetic! They took it.  It had a little, a little straw coming out.  (To gate attendant) Did you know they took my apple juice?  It had a straw.
Gate Attendant (who has been listening to the exchange):  I will go right now and buy you a  bottle of apple juice.
Very Old Black Woman #2 (to gate attendant):  She’s diabetic.
(A few minutes later)
Gate Attendant:  They didn’t have apple juice, is cranberry juice okay?
Very Old Black Woman #1:  Did you really go get that?
Very Old Black Woman #2:  Did he really get it?
Very Old Black Woman #1:  Well, he’s my friend.  Course he did.
Very Old Black Woman #2:  Ohhh my goodness.  You GIRL.  You still got it.

Humphrey Terminal, MSP
Overheard by waiting to board.

Lady in Line at TSA Checkpoint: Excuse me where is the bathroom where is the bathroom where people get all the ’special encounters’.
TSA Guy: It’s the next bathroom, past the other bathroom over there. [points in direction of restroom]
Lady: Okay… Thanks!

Minneapolis Airport
Overheard by Larry Craig Made our Airport Famous.

Chick: (looking at video arcade) Aurora Borealis? What’s that?
Guy: Um, I think it means Northern Lights.
Chick: Oh. For a minute I thought it said ‘Areola’.

MSP Airport, C terminal
Overheard by the night sky just got more interesting…

Man: So, you from around here?
Woman: No, I’m from Belgium.
Man: Belgium… that’s in England, right?

Humphrey Terminal

Overheard by So close!

Woman on cell phone: Well, the security threat level is… (lowers her voice) orange.

MSP
Overheard by oh no! not orange!

Four-year-old in 14F: Mama, when we finally get up in the air, can I roll down my window?

NWA #1495
Overheard by someone eyeing the oxygen masks.

Cocky Airline Representative: Alright, folks, it’s 20 below outside, so we’re gonna need you to board when and only when your row numbers are called. We don’t want people to freeze in the jet way. And please–don’t lick any metal in there. Your tongue WILL stick, and it will not be fun. Even if it looks tasty.

MSP International
Overheard by missed the first flight, just get me the fuck out of here.

50s-ish woman on airplane: None of my emails are sending. Do you have service up here?
Man sitting next to her: [loooooooong silence] No.

airplane from MSP to San Diego
Overheard by do you have any idea how far away from ground we are?

Really loud woman in the seat in front of me: Honey, what was the name of that 70s club? You know, the one with all the Saturday Night Live music?

New Year’s Day flight from Orlando to MSP
Overheard by sparklegirl.

Middle aged woman to husband: Do you want to stick it in there, honey?

Flight 853 to Atlanta
Overheard by Please Don’t.

College girl #1: I didn’t know New Orleans was, like, part of the United States!
College girl #2: Yeah, stupid. It’s one of the 50 states!
College girl #1: Really?! Where is it.
College girl #2: I think it’s, like, between Texas and Florida.
College girl #1: Oh. (Pauses) Wait, how can that be when California is next to Texas and Florida is the last state on the right?? Then the bottom of the US would only be 4 states long, and I KNOW that’s not right!
College girl #2: (wakes up sleeping College Girl #3) Rachel, isn’t New Orleans the state between Texas and Florida??
College girl #3: Don’t ask me, I failed geometry AND history last semester. (closes eyes again).

sitting in MSP airport waiting for flight to New Orleans
Overheard by …history and geometry??

Women looking out window of plane: So, which one is Lake Superior?

united flight from Colorado
Overheard by umm.. that one.

Complaining 6 million mile passenger: Aw, Come on!
Very senior flight attendant to entire first class cabin: Welcome to Northwest Airlines. We’re not happy until you’re not happy.

Airbus just outside concourse C, MSP
Overheard by an amused 400,000 mile passenger.

NWA flight attendant (who has spent the entire flight struggling with the malfunctioning loudspeaker) to chuckling passengers: Don’t laugh at me! I can hear you people out there!

NWA flight 1263 arriving to the gate at MSP airport
Overheard by Careswen.