College girl: John*, my bellybutton is oozing for you.
John, apparently: That’s sick. Could you have made it sound a bit more sensual at least?
College girl: It wasn’t mean to be sensual. (long pause) I mean, oh yeah, my bellybutton is wet and waiting for you!

New Brighton, Das Hus
Overheard by a.lil.

Attractive redhead to person buying her a drink: I’ll have a Grey Goose Martini, ass-to-mouth dirty, straight up please.

New Brighton, Our Bar
Overheard by Kickballer.

Shirtless guy #1: So, what I hate is when you wake up and you’re, like, still drunk.
(Rest of shirtless dudes chuckle)
Shirtless guy #2: No, what I really hate is, you know, when you wake up after getting trashed and there’s someone in your bed.

New Brighton Park
Overheard by just wanted to go for a walk…

20-something guy: You’ll have internet while you’re there, right?
Blonde college girl: Yeah, like once a week or something.
20-something guy: So should we email or Facebook you?
Blonde college girl: Either.  I mean, they have Facebook in Africa, right?

Das Hus in New Brighton
Overheard by a.lil.