Little Girl: I think I’m addicted to water!
Tall Woman next to her: You may be.
Little Girl: (giggle) I LOVE water! (maniacal giggling)

Minneapolis, 5th and Nicollet
Overheard by H2O anon.

Sport-jacket walking down Nic. Mall looking at iPhone, to female companion: Ooh, Ichiban has four dollar signs.

Nicollet Mall
Overheard by It’s like a brain… in your pocket!

Homeless man (defensively): Well… I think you smell like fuck!

Nicollet Mall
Overheard by Mr. Ross.

Man, rapping to himself: My name is Memphis, and I say it with an emphis.

Minneapolis, 4th & Nicollet
Overheard by with a what now?

Homeless guy yelling at another homeless guy after sharing a parting hug: You a pervert, Ceasar! You a pervert! Ceasar, man, walk away. You’s a pervert, man!

Sidewalk-Franklin & Nicollet-Minneapolis
Overheard by ceasar is quite a name for a homeless guy.

Guy to friend: Whatever happens in a hotel stays in a hotel. But whatever happens in Job Corps does NOT stay in Job Corps.

Nicollet Mall

20-something blonde chick in whiny voice to boyfriend: Adrian, do you know how hard it is to walk in these shoes?

Nicollet Mall @ 8th

Man wearing leather jacket: Did I tell you this coat isn’t as warm as the ski jacket? You zip that bitch up and it’s like the Arctic!

Nicollet Mall
Overheard by what??

Pretentious Dancer: Do you know where I got this big scar on my head? Through dedication to my art.

18G bus, Nicollet Mall
Overheard by Amy.

College Age Guy to Suit: Hey, Sir, do you work here?
Suit: No.
College Age Guy: Oh. You look nice.
Random Third Guy: You do.

Walgreens, Nicollet Mall
Overheard by Inflatigirl.

Guy #1: *staring out window* See, the only reason why I invented roads was so that cars would have something to drive on.
Guy #2: You didn’t do that!
Guy #1: I did! *points to street* I mean look at it, doesn’t it make sense?

Bar Nicollet
Overheard by in the presence of gods.

Girl #1: So they told me that I was really f*cked up, and I guess I tried to kill myself with some pills or something?
Girl #2: Yeah, you took a whole bunch of Percocet.
Girl #1: Really?

19th and Nicollet
Overheard by josie.

Loud irate woman to policeman: I’m going to call the cops on you! You’re going to go to JAIL!
Man standing nearby: Who do you think you’re talking to, dumbass motherf*cker? He is the cops.
Irate woman storms off.

SA on 35th and Nicollet
Overheard by Saint Ramer.

Blonde: I asked him what he was doing tomorrow night and he said he doesn’t celebrate Christmas. Duh, I know that. I just wanted to know what he was doing.
Redhead: Yeah, all the Americans will be celebrating Christmas. What will he be doing?

Brit’s Pub/ Nicollet Mall
Overheard by A Jewish American at Brit’s.

Woman #1: So, what are her hobbies?
Woman #2: I dunno… getting drunk and not taking care of her kid.
Woman #1: Well, does she like scrapbooks or anything?
Woman #2: Oh please! She doesn’t have enough brain power to make a scrapbook.

Target in Nicollet Mall
Overheard by You are buying her a Christmas Present, WHY?

Crazy guy walking down Nicollet Mall, who suddenly stops and yells: I am not an animal, I am a human being!

Nicollet Mall
Overheard by are you sure about that?

Crazy lady on sidewalk: [through open bus door] Pull up a little, the buses behind you are blocking the intersection.
Bus driver: Thank you.
Crazy lady on sidewalk: [snaps photo of bus driver with cell phone] I got your number.
Bus driver: I got yours, too.

Nicollet mall
Overheard by YOU Drive.

Scruffy-looking man: Must be nice working in an office.
Sharp-dressed man (awkwardly): Yeah, I guess.
Scruffy-looking man: Inside where it’s warm.
Sharp-dressed man: Yeah.
Scruffy-looking man: Nobody yelling at you all day.
Sharp-dressed man: Well, that happens sometimes.
Scruffy-looking man: Really?
Sharp-dressed man: Uh huh. (relieved) Well, there’s my bus.

Bus stop at Nicollet Mall & 5th St.
Overheard by Careswen.

After long stretch of silence, woman to man: I won’t make you go to therapy if you let me get a kitty.

Nicollet light rail station
Overheard by Oo, I want a kitty.

White twenties-something woman: Awe! Look! Asian babies are too cute! I wish I could have an Asian baby!
Asian friend: I know, me too.
White twenties-something woman: But you WILL have Asian babies.
Asian friend: Oh my God, that’s right!

Nicollet Mall
Overheard by It’s not always easy to remember your race.