Lady walking by muttering to herself: Oily ass crotch licker.

Nicollet Mall
Overheard by Boognish.

Twenty-something dude on bus: Dude, if someone hadn’t set the clocks back, I would’ve been HELLA late this morning. I’m such a procrastiner.

Nicollet Mall, bus 18
Overheard by A procrastinATor.

6 yo sister advocating for baby brother to high strung mom: We feel like it’s your job to make babies cry!

Chanhassen Park Nicollet Clinic
Overheard by Glad I’m not the only one with that job.

30-something Asian dude to office worker girl: I went to the party as Hannah Montana.
Office Worker Girl: (dryly) How’d that work out for you?

Nicollet and 10th
Overheard by Saint Ramer.

Crazy guy waiting at stoplight to girl walking in crosswalk: Damn girl, if you weren’t wearing the fine ass pink shirt I’d have run you down fo’ sho!

S 4th St & Nicollet Mall
Overheard by gus.

20 something woman to her friend: Girl! This ain’t no K-Mart!

Dollar store on 18th and Nicollet
Overheard by Target Shopper.

Teenager #1: Would you let the Bionic Woman give you a handjob with her bionic hand?
Teenager #2: Fu** yeah!
Teenager #1: No way, I wouldn’t!
Teenager #2: Why not?
Teenager #1: She’s bionic man! What if she rips it off?
Teenager #2: *pauses in silent thought* It would be worth it.

bustop at Lake St/Nicollet

Woman, recounting her part of a previous conversation: I want you to spit on me like you spit on her, because I don’t understand.

Target, Skyway level, 9th/Nicollet
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Large woman sitting on a bench (speaking softly): But you love me baby, and we are meant to be together. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM THEN?!

8th and nicollet
Overheard by I wish I knew.

Man: When I first came up here for my interview, I was in a suit. And my girlfriend and I were walking down Nicollet Mall and we saw this homeless guy walking along. He said I looked like a hobbit in a suit.
Woman: Which one?
Man: Samwise Gamgee.

Wells Fargo Center elevator
Overheard by Amy.

Man: I’ma take this corncob and shove it up some m*therf*cker’s ass.

After an Aquatennial Parade, 4th and Nicollet
Overheard by hybrid fat-n-sassy.

Bus driver, talking to passenger, voice projected over the loudspeaker: Doesn’t look like a hat. It looks like a hot water bottle. She’s throwing a hot water bottle. [laughs] Doesn’t it look like a hot water bottle?

Bus on Nicollet Mall, passing the Mary Tyler Moore statue
Overheard by Careswen.

White American man (muttering to himself as he walks by): Greedy ass American humans!!

nicollet
Overheard by hannah n’ gwen.

Ghetto girl #1: Girrrrl… I hope this pharmacologist hurries up with my prescription!
Ghetto girl #2: Giiiirl…. I KNOW. That pharmacologist is slow
Ghetto girl #1: Girl, that pharmacologist better hurry up with my medicine cause I gotta put it down HERE. (pointing to her lady parts). I’m gonna get me some UUUUHHHHH tomorrow night. (while thrusting her pelvis)
Ghetto girl #2: Girl, I think I’m gonna go back to schoo’.
Ghetto girl #1: To become a pharmacologist?
Ghetto girl #2: Girl, I ain’t gonna be no pharmacologist, I’m gonna be a teacher!

St. Louis Park: Park Nicollet Pharmacy
Overheard by fellow person waiting for the pharmocologist.

WCCO-TV Staff Member to news tip caller: Have you called 9-1-1 yet?

11th & Nicollet
Overheard by Concerned journalist.

Uninspired he/she, deboarding the 17C: Ohh look, we’re on the corner of Crime and Urine.

18th & Nicollet
Overheard by GOOD ONE.

Guy [talking into cell phone]: Everywhere I go, I see one of my girlfriends!

Nicollet & 25th
Overheard by ORLY.

Girl on cell phone: What is it called when you feel bad about stuff?

8th and Nicollet
Overheard by She must not be catholic.

Hobo: Heeey, my name’s Bert. I’m a hippy, you know. In the 60s, I fought in Vietnam and then did a lot of drugs. So, could I have a dollar?

Outside Ralph Lauren, Nicollet Mall
Overheard by honesty is not always the best policy.

Woman on Street: You see this bridge overhead? It’s called a skyway. We have an entire indoor world where you never have to go outside.
Her out of town guest: It’s like a futuristic hamster city!

Nicollet Mall outside of Target