Posts Tagged ‘northeast’
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Let’s Hope The Fence Was Electric
Extraordinarily drunk guy, while peeing on a fence: BEHOLD! The wonders of my PBR sprinkler!!!
NE Minneapolis, House party
Overheard by I refer to it as my “godstick”. -
Why Wasn’t I Invited?
One dumb valley girl to another: So, he decided to have a burrito party in the back of my Lexus.
NE Minneapolis, Moose on Monroe Parking Lot
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I Don’t Believe You
Woman: Hey, did you guys know that Eric Clapton is known for being a really good guitarist?
Northeast Minneapolis, 2008 Superbowl party at my house
Overheard by DonaldDouchebag. -
They Can’t If She’s Dead
Frustrated co-worker across the room: If I had a gun I would shoot her and go to jail for the rest of my life! Somebody’s got to tell her the new rules of the condo association.
NE Minneapolis, The Office
Overheard by I already know the rules. -
They Each See Different Things For His Future Career
Mom: You can start thinking of some drawings to make for your grandparents for Christmas gifts. They love getting things you’ve made.
Boy: Mom, I’ve done a lot of art in my life; I think you should just pick out something from that.Minneapolis, NE Target, crayon aisle
Overheard by Art Lover. -
That’ll Come Back To Bite Her
Woman on cell phone with adorable 3 yr old girl: After dragging her up four flights of stairs and this whole fucking ordeal and they’re not even fucking open. (pause) On the bright side my cell phone works here so that made me happy for about two seconds and now I’m fucking pissed again.
NE Minneapolis, Icebox gallery in NKB
Overheard by Suite 286- for todays vocabulary lesson, the f word. -
It’s Easy To See How That Can Be Confusing
Brunette #1: Do you guys want water?
Brunette #2: Yes.
Brunette #1: Barb, Barb, do you want water, Barb?
Barb, interrupting her order: Yes!
Brunette #2, to Barb in a hushed voice after Brunette #1 brings water to the table and leaves again: Oh my god! Was there water on the table when we got here?
Barb, unsure: Maybe.
Brunette #2, excitedly: I just drank it. I just drank strange table water. I’m going to get sick now, it tasted funny, it tasted like germs.
Barb: Oh wait, you know, those are our waters.
(pause)
Brunette #2: Oh that’s right, I think it was just really cold then.Northeast Minneapolis, Wilde Roast
Overheard by Chai Tea. -
One Issue Voter Is Disappointed
Woman voting: I only got one eye! It doesn’t matter who I vote for, ’cause I’m still gonna have one eye!
Minneapolis, Northeast polling place
Overheard by what an overlooked group of voters. -
Smoke Another!
Guy, to his girlfriend: PIZZA ROLLS! I love pizza rolls. Pizza pizza pizza rolls!
Minneapolis, Northeast Target
Overheard by are you twleve? -
We Get Tired Faster
Woman in the cube next door, talking on the phone: Yeah, well, as you get older, it’s less manual labor and more electronics!
NE Mpls, The Office
Overheard by Am I taking this the wrong way? -
Which Explains Why They’re For Sale
Enthusiastic garage sale shopper (holding up socks): These are so CLEAN! How you keep your socks so CLEAN?!?!
Sock seller: Largely by… not wearing them.NE Minneapolis, garage sale
Overheard by It increases their value. -
Yeah, Nothing Cheerful Or Fun Either
Ghetto-looking shopper to her equally ghetto friend, regarding display of items for the National Breast Cancer Association: If I had the big “C”, the last thing I’d want to look at is pink stuff.
NE Minneapolis, Target
Overheard by Missing the big picture? -
Wait, What Were We Talking About?
20-something bro #1: So, I was at this party place…
20-something bro #2, interrupting: Dude, fuck yeah!Stinson ave., Rainbow foods parking lot
Overheard by rjc. -
This Should Never Be A Problem
Mom: Did you take my last tampon?
Daughter (aghast): No! I would never take the last tampon!
Mom: I think you did. I had almost a full box last month, and I went this morning and the box was empty.
Daughter: Well, I may have taken all the tampons leading up to it, but I would never take the last tampon. Jeez, mom.Minneapolis, Nordeast Target
Overheard by not to split hairs or anything… -
Chesney Or G?
Drunk man to others at his table: I prefer Kenny. Except for he’s a maniac and you never know what he’s on and he’s always geekin’.
Psycho Suzi’s
Overheard by Laura. -
The Better Story Is In How The Night Started
A 20 something woman talking to her friend over lunch: So, that was how my morning started; waking up with a man I am not overly fond of.
Restaurant In NE Mpls
Overheard by My morning start a little bit better. -
Idea Men
Middle-aged Dude #1: You should petition the state high school league to make killing with porcupines a sport.
Middle-aged Dude #2: Yeah, with the quills and everything.
Middle-aged Dude #1: Exactly! That’s what I’m saying.Bar @ Elsie’s
Overheard by I grabbed my blackberry as soon as I heard it. -
You Could Do A Lot With A .45
Guy smoking outside Tony Jaro’s to another: You don’t need a thirty aught six rifle to do that. You could do that with a .45.
Tony Jaros’ River Garden, Nordeast Minneapolis
Overheard by greenie queenie. -
It’s Just So Pretty When You Say It
Rowdy gay man to rowdy gay compatriot while pointing at cyclist walking the aisle: See! He’s not ugly, he’s RUSTIC!
Lund’s in NE
Overheard by flattered by the underhandedness. -
Epic
Boy #1: What if the sword from Mulan battled the sword from Kung Fu Panda?
Boy #2: Whoa.Windom Park playground, NE Minneapolis
Overheard by never thought of that.
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