Posts Tagged ‘on the phone’
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Make Sure It’s Enough To Share With Everyone
Big lady on the phone: I’m hungry! (pause) Well, I don’t care, then osmosis me some food now!
Minneapolis, 6 Bus
Overheard by I dont think thats how it works. -
Someone To Make Her A Sandwich?
Woman talking loudly on phone: Uh uh. She want pizza? No no no, you make that girl a sandwich. She ain’t got nothin’ come to her. What’s that? She want to go to Marshall’s? I know for a fact she only got $7. She thinks she can get two shirts with that? Those are gonna be two shitty ass shirts. Don’t give her any money, SHE AIN’T GOT NOTHIN COMIN’ TO HER! That’s what she gets for being a grown ass woman and pissing in her bed.
Minneapolis, 6 bus
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The Ignorant
Lady on her cell: She’s a devout Christian but she’s married to a Hindu. Wait, Muslim. Wait, who bombed us again? Who are the ones we hate?
St Paul, Downtown
Overheard by and that’s why i want to move out of this country. -
And Start Prepping It For A Life In Stand-Up
Female co-worker talking loudly on phone: That’s how I feel about having an ugly baby. If my baby is ugly I hope I can crack jokes before other people are talking about it behind my back.
Edina, office
Overheard by zack. -
Maybe He’ll Grow Into It
Woman on cell phone: Didn’t you say you ran into her at the fair and her kid was, like, totally jacked? (pause) You’re going to hell! Don’t lie! (pause) Mmhmm, JACKED. (chuckles)
Minneapolis, Bus #2
Overheard by Burrhead. -
The Same Thing You Told Her The Last Time This Didn’t Work
Old Man on Cell Phone seated beside another old man at an otherwise empty table: We have three broads here and there’s only two of us. (Pause) Well what are we going to tell the third girl?
St. Louis Park, Knollwood Mall
Overheard by That’s one way to get him out of the house. -
She’ll Never See It Coming
20-something woman talking loudly on cell phone: Her water broke yesterday, so now she’s walkin’ around with a hole in her uterus. And her baby jus’ gonna fall out!!
Minneapolis, bus stop
Overheard by Those darn babies. -
Now You Have To Bring Enough To Share With The Whole Office
Man in cubicle on cellphone, whispering: So, how much for that thing we talked about? (pause) I mean how much for a Q? (pause) You know, Q.O…a quad? (pause) No! Q, a quarter. (frustrated and very loudly) HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR A QUARTER OUNCE OF WEED, GOD DAMMIT?!
Minneapolis, RBC Dain
Overheard by gordy, standing behind you. -
That’s Just What I’ve Heard
Coworker on cellphone, speaking quietly: I know that freaks some women out. But I’m a man, so I wouldn’t know.
Minneapolis, cube farm
Overheard by Your neighbor. -
With None Of The Fun
Woman on cellphone: You’re jumping straight from friends to breakup without ever dating.
Minneapolis, Elevator in the TCF Tower
Overheard by Call me when you have a real problem. -
So, Could I Have It Back?
Guy on cellphone: Man. It’s a drought out here. I haven’t been able to find weed anywhere. The stuff I got I sold to you.
Minneapolis, Library
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I Hope It Has A 30 Day Money-Back Guarantee
Young woman on phone: It’s funny, I was telling my dad I’ve never even bought a pair of shoes I haven’t seen in person, and now I’m buying a house. Oh well, it will be fun.
Minneapolis, Walking Path, Lake of the Isles
Overheard by Or the worst decision you ever made. -
Time To Add Interest
30-something dude on cell phone: Todd and I made a fuckin’ bet about the Tigers and the Twins in ’87. It was for $1,000 and we had a payment plan because we were just kids back then, and he hasn’t even fuckin’ paid up!
St. Paul, Grand Old Day
Overheard by Isn’t the day supposed to be ‘grand?’ -
Blow Back
Frustrated young woman on cell phone: Okay, well what would YOU have done if a sloppy drunk drag queen blew in your ear with hot vodka breath and you were trapped on the bus?
Uptown Minneapolis, Bus Stop
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TV Tells Me It Makes People Happy
60-something man talking to his son on the cell phone: Did you get too much sun? Probably too much serotonin.
His wife: You can never get enough serotonin!Oakdale, Green Mill patio
Overheard by Patio patron. -
You Like This
Girl on cellphone: Yeah, I may need your help with the farm. My Farmville farm. (pause) I know how to play Farmville, I just like the way you do it better.
Bloomington, Normandale
Overheard by Farmville boycotted. -
Pass The Time By Reading About Strippers
Guy on cellphone: I’m at the bookstore. That strip club doesn’t open until 5.
Coon Rapids, Riverdale Mall
Overheard by Joe. -
Is There Someone Smarter I Can Talk To?
Attorney on the phone: I only have one small question, because you did it all wrong.
Saint Paul, a nonprofit org
Overheard by Invisible Friend. -
Like A Promise Ring?
Woman on the phone: No, it’s just a reserve reservation.
Minneapolis, Punch Pizza
Overheard by Free Pizza! -
I Think That’s The Title Of The Porn Spoof
Guy who seems to be selling pirated movies, on his cellphone: I didn’t like that title. They shouldn’t have called the second one “Fast and Furious.” It’s too much like “The Fast and The Furious”, the first one. They should’ve called it Faster and More Furious; I think that would’ve worked better.
Light Rail
Overheard by Wow just Wow.
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