Dude #1: Have you seen her lately?
Dude #2: Yeah, she looks great except for the bulimia!
Dude #1: Really?  She looks good?
Dude #2: Yeah, except her face looks like Skeletor.

St. Paul, Selby Ave
Overheard by Give her a sandwich.

Little Girl: I think I’m addicted to water!
Tall Woman next to her: You may be.
Little Girl: (giggle) I LOVE water! (maniacal giggling)

Minneapolis, 5th and Nicollet
Overheard by H2O anon.

Boy #1riding bike yelling at other friend on bike: The best way to get to drink underage is to go there every day and make friends with the bartender!
Boy #2: Does that work?
Boy #1: If you go every day!

St. Paul, Selby and Wheeler
Overheard by You both look thirteen.

Male friend to female friend: See, I told you it wasn’t a pigeon!

Minneapolis, Uptown
Overheard by Thanks for finding my African Grey Parrot!

Mid 30’s Woman with screechy voice to someone: You didn’t recycle that, did you? Fucking asshole.

Saint Paul, Dale/Summit
Overheard by Guy with a headache.

Woman yelling to a man: Stop touching my face!

Outside Palmers, Cedar/Riverside ‘hood
Overheard by hmmm.

Man walking down the street with two little boys, on cell phone: Yeah, we’re just, uh… sitting down finishing lunch right now.
Little boy, loudly: NO WE AREN’T!

Grand Marais, The street…not a restaurant
Overheard by BURN.

Sport-jacket walking down Nic. Mall looking at iPhone, to female companion: Ooh, Ichiban has four dollar signs.

Nicollet Mall
Overheard by It’s like a brain… in your pocket!

Airhead Girl #1: Well, is he cute?
Airhead Girl #2: No. (Long Pause) But, he has a nice car!

Uptown
Overheard by Do people still care about that?

Homeless man (defensively): Well… I think you smell like fuck!

Nicollet Mall
Overheard by Mr. Ross.

Guy on bike to random guy: Hey, do you know where Saint Pedophilia is?
Random guy: Where?
Guy on bike: Saint Pedophilia. It’s a Catholic Church by Saint Thomas where the priests molest little boys and turn them into homosexuals. (bikes away)
Random guy (stunned): What the fuck was that?

Minneapolis, Marquette and 5th
Overheard by well that was odd.

30-something to his girlfriend: Don’t look at my penis when I’m a squirrel!

Uptown
Overheard by Oh Nuts.

Man, rapping to himself: My name is Memphis, and I say it with an emphis.

Minneapolis, 4th & Nicollet
Overheard by with a what now?

Super Green business lady on cell phone: I totally care about the environment and all that.  I just don’t have time to!

Loring Park
Overheard by I have time to care!

Mother yelling at her stroller-bound toddler: Stop it, a**hole!

Downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by Just trying to walk quietly to a Twins game.

Little boy: What’s your shirt say??
Older boy: “The Freaks Come Out at Night.”
Little boy: Freaks? Oh, you mean crack heads!?

Minneapolis, Bryant Ave.
Overheard by you have a curfew.

Middle Aged Drunk White Lady, unironically: Dude, where’s my car?

Uptown
Overheard by Unicorn Lover.

College Girl #1, at about 4:30 in the afternoon: Well, we could go get dinner now, but it’s really early for that.
College Guy: Well, it’s not too early if you are old.
College Girl #2: Yeah, they always start rolling into the restaurant about this time.
College Girl #1: Really? I can’t wait to be old!

Minneapolis, Seven Corners
Overheard by I’m not in that big of a rush…

Crazy black lady: I’m up here with Osama Bin Laden with that man’s terrorist force.  I don’t get why people be hatin’ on that man, ya’know? (A few minutes later, talking to her drunk neighbor) Can I get some of your beer? My lips are dry I did some bad crack earlier.  I’m just kidding, but seriously, that was some bad shit.

Minneapolis, Outside apartment building
Overheard by Freya… I just wanted to spend my 21st birthday in peace.

Teen Boy: (strokes girl’s arm) How are you today?
Teen Girl: I’m good. (half-smiles, uncomfortably)
Teen Boy: I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m so awkward! I’m hungry. (walks away.)

Wayzata, Lake Street
Overheard by what an interesting relationship.