Unknown Man, responding to a sneeze from an apartment: Man, n**** you got a cold or somethin? Achoo achoo mothaf***a, why don’t you get a tissue or something, punk?

Minneapolis, Around Stevens Square, 2nd Ave
Overheard by Suture.

Slighlty inebriated college girl: I don’t see what’s wrong with letting people off the bus to piss. I was like, “Piss out the flipping window!”

Dinkytown, outside McDonald’s
Overheard by Good thing she got off the bus…

Woman, talking to a friend about what music will be played at her wedding dance: There will be no country played at my wedding. It’s all my fiance and his family listen to, and I’m not going to have Toby Keith and some… Conway Twitty cowboy dipshit ruining my wedding.

Minneapolis, 26th & Blaisdell
Overheard by conway twitty.

Girl #1: So, I wore your underwear the other day.
Girl #2: Well, at least they were clean. I just washed them.

Minneapolis, Washington Ave Bridge
Overheard by mitch.

Guy #1: Yeah, I’m a bit busy this weekend though, so I wouldn’t put all my eggs in a basket. I don’t think I used that correctly. (laughs)
Guy #2: Did you mean two birds and a stone?
Guy #1: What? Oh yeah. I wouldn’t want to try to put all my eggs and two birds and a stone in my basket. I don’t think it’s big enough.

Minneapolis, Washington Ave. Bridge

Jock student trying to impress the girls in his vehicle, to man on bike: Get a car, asshole!
Man on bike: I have one you lazy bastard!

Minneapolis, Dinkytown
Overheard by Nice Rebuttal!

Emo punk #1:  Man, people don’t know.  Beggin’ is, like, way harder than working, right?  It’s not easy sitting out here begging and looking retarded and sh&t!
Emo punk #2:  (nodding in agreement)

Uptown, in front of McDonalds
Overheard by Are you serious??

College Bro to bro friend: Dude! One time I pissed the bed with my girlfriend in it! (laughing)

Minneapolis, Dinkytown
Overheard by let’s hope she dumped you.

Biker (biking quickly through a red stoplight): DOWN WITH WHITEY!!!

Minneapolis, 31st  Ave S near the river
Overheard by Mr. Ross.

Twenty-something guy: I’m fat, and I’m broke, and the world is ending. Why can’t I just have a goddamn cheeseburger???

Minneapolis, Uptown
Overheard by me too.

25-year old drunken man, on what qualities he likes best in women: I like it when their lips are small, and their asses are smaller!

Minneapolis, 26th and Blaisdell
Overheard by Local hipster.

Teenage girl on cell phone: Go to Target, they got ‘em two-for-one. No, you buy one and get two… nuh-uh, you only buy the one and get two. No, you GET two when you BUY one. NO, ‘cuz you only gotta buy ONE. NO! You still get two!

Minneapolis, Neighborhood street near Lake Hiawatha
Overheard by Didn’t know the concept was so difficult.

Boy: I can just imagine what it’s like to be high. (pause) And it’s funny. Don’t you ever do that?
Girl: No.

St. Louis Park, Near the high school

Loud ghetto woman #1: Then he was all, “I took this nigga’s truck, I took this nigga’s crack,” and the nigga he was talkin’ to fuckin punched him in the face and was all, “Nigga that was my truck!  Pow!  Nigga that was my crack!  Pow!”
Ghetto woman #2: Nigga got a loud mouth.
Child: Mama, why people always stealin’ crack?  I don’t even like cracks.

Minneapolis, Penn & Golden Valley Road
Overheard by white girl from south minneapolis.

College girl on cell phone:  So, it’s all good ’cause I am just re-using the same guys over and over!  My number doesn’t go up!

Minneapolis, Dinkytown in front of The Steak Knife
Overheard by just eating my pizza.

25-year old man, searching for words to describe how amazingly drunk he got last weekend: We were fucking… shit… fuck… annihilated.
Other 25-year old guy: Wow. That really does sound drunk!

Minneapolis, West 26th St & Blaisdell
Overheard by FSFA’d.

Toddler: Mom, I like that guy ’cause he has a cool head.
His mom: What guy?
Toddler: That guy.

Saint Paul, Lex-Ham
Overheard by the guy with a cool head.

30-something chick with guy walking past 1st Avenue: I used to come here ALL the time… tragically enough.

Minneapolis, 7th Street and 1st Ave.
Overheard by saint ramer.

Dude #1: Have you seen her lately?
Dude #2: Yeah, she looks great except for the bulimia!
Dude #1: Really?  She looks good?
Dude #2: Yeah, except her face looks like Skeletor.

St. Paul, Selby Ave
Overheard by Give her a sandwich.

Little Girl: I think I’m addicted to water!
Tall Woman next to her: You may be.
Little Girl: (giggle) I LOVE water! (maniacal giggling)

Minneapolis, 5th and Nicollet
Overheard by H2O anon.