Middle-aged woman on cell phone at 6:30 pm in a patronizing tone: Have you been drinking? … Do they know you’ve been drinking? … How many have you had? … Do I need to take you to detox again? … Okay, I’ll be home after book group.

Edina Panera
Overheard by Seriously? “Tuesdays with Morrie” can wait.

30 something girl to friends in booth: She got a doctorate or something stupid like that.

Hastings Panera
Overheard by Idiot with a bachelor degree.

Man #1: So, what do you guys do about keeping the restaurant clean?
Man #2: Uh… we got a mop.
Man #1: No, like what policies and procedures do you adhere to, to maintain Department of Health standards?
Man #2: You mean like rubbing alcohol and shit?

Orange house
Overheard by Enrico Suave.

Panera employee to a coworker: You don’t need to wash those plates, just wipe!

St. Anthony West Panera, Minneapolis
Overheard by Kedster.

Tall Metrosexual Dude: I’m hanging up. I love myself too much to be a part of this conversation any more.

Panera Bread in Maple Grove
Overheard by Ironic, who wonders why love is the problem.

White College Girl #1: You know how that one guy was a good Asian?
White College Girl #2: Yeah, totally.
White College Girl #1: Well that guy… was a bad Asian.

Panera - Edina

Some chick: I would LOVE to be fireman! You only work, like, 3 days a week and you just sit around watching TV until the alarm goes off!
Some Other Chick: Yeah, but then you’d have to watch people’s houses burn down.
Some chick: Yeah, that’d be, like, really depressing.

Panera Bread by Southdale
Overheard by HungryHungryHippy.

Crazy homeless dude drinking booze from a Panera Bread cup: Yo pretty lady! Where’d you learn to move your pretty fingers like that?
Hipster chick typing furiously on her Sidekick: Let’s just say I’ve been up and around a lot of assholes in my life.

11th & Nicollet Mall, #18 bus
Overheard by i know what was in your cup.

College age girl #1: You know when you get a sandwhich at Panera and you get a pickle and chips with it?
College age girl #2: Yeah?
College age girl #1: If you eat the pickle and then the chips it tastes just like you’re eating dill pickle chips.

U of M
Overheard by a quiet lunch eater…