Posts Tagged ‘parks’
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Yeah, With ’2000 Flushes.’
Female jogger #1: What? I thought you said “aqua”!
Female jogger #2: I did.
Female jogger #1: What’s that?
Female jogger #2: Water.
Lake Calhoun
Overheard by “El Aqua” is Spanish for “The Aqua” -
There’s A Simple Supply And Demand Solution Here.
Man: I really want the Mexican at work to get fired. I need more hours.
Woman: Maybe you should call the Feds.
Man: Not a bad idea. Get him deported.
Woman: The Feds came into my work the other day. Apparently this guy I work with is wanted in Ecuador for murder.
Man: No shit!?
Woman: Yeah, and it turns out that the name we were calling him for a year wasn’t his real name. His name isn’t Manuel. And Sally* was trying to hide him and said that Manuel wasn’t at work today. But the Feds saw his car. I didn’t want him to go either… He’s a good cleaner.
South Beach @ Lake Calhoun
Overheard by burying my face in my towel and laughing. -
Or Read About It Later.
Girl #1: So how about you? Aren’t you dating that one guy?
Girl #2: (laughing) I’m not dating anyone! What guy??
Girl #1: The one in that band, I thought you liked each other.
Girl #2: (groaning) Let’s not even talk about it.
Girl #1: Why?
Girl #3: (piping up in background): He’s a TURTLE, that’s why!
Girl #1: What??
Girl #2: Shhhhh, stop talking about it. (looking into the woods) You never know, he may be able to hear us.
hidden beach
Overheard by is he really a turtle? -
It’s Harder Than It Sounds.
Blonde woman to parents: Pretend I’m smarter than you think I am.
The Lake
Overheard by She Really Is. -
They Didn’t Go To The Funeral.
Man and woman walk their dog by 3 teens with a puppy. Puppy starts barking.
Teen with the puppy: Shut up, Nigga! Shut up, Nigga!
Man a few seconds later: Do you think that might have been the dog’s name?
NE park
Overheard by saddened by the possibility. -
Their Futures Have Already Been Scripted.
Early-teenaged girl #1: Have you ever thought you were pregnant?
Early-teenaged girl #2: Omigosh, YES. I was going to overdose on vitamin C, because everyone knows that causes the baby to abort itself.
Slightly-older teenaged boy: Um, you can’t overdose on vitamin C. It’s water solubule, which means it’s impossible to overdose with.
*Blank stares from both girls*
Early-teenaged girl #2: … but it turned out I wasn’t pregnant. THAT was a relief. I mean, I wouldn’t want to hurt MYSELF in the process, you know?
Early-teenaged girl #1: Phew, yeah.
*Boy shakes his head and goes in the water*
South beach at Lake Calhoun
Overheard by laughing into my beach towel. -
There Was Potential For So Much Worse.
Girl on phone: Well, she can’t come tonight. Last night she sat on a bottle and now she has glass in her ass.
South beach @ Lake Calhoun
Overheard by that bottle had it coming, I guess. -
Minnesota’s Largest Source Of Air Pollution.
Boater: Can I drown your baby?
Mother: I’m sorry…what?
Boater: My friend says I can’t drown a baby, and I want to prove him wrong. Your kid’s ugly, so can I drown him?
Mother: I’m getting a cop.
Twin Lake
Overheard by Ironic, who quickly hid his kid. -
Like, Say That?
Man in Canoe to his friends in the canoe with him: Hey, you ready to hear another installment from the things that I do in life that you’d never do?
Under a bridge, Lake Calhoun
Overheard by Other Canoers. -
It Won’t Matter When You Both Have Skin Cancer.
Younger sunbathing sister (to friend odering food): I’ll have another Dippin’ Dots!
Older sunbathing sister:: No, she won’t.
Younger sister: Why?! Why not?
Older sister: Because it’s bad for you!
Younger sister: (to friend) Banana Split, please.
Older sister: [rolls eyes]
Younger sister: What!? Don’t you want me to eat more ice cream, so you can be the skinny sister?! And I can be the fat one!
Minikahda Country Club, Lake Calhoun
Overheard by she does has a point… -
That Should Turn Out Well For Him.
Metrosexual guy: I’ve decided from now on I’m only going to make friends with people who are like, 21 to 23 years old… they’re just SO much easier to take advantage of, you know?
Friend: Really?
Metrosexual guy: Totally. You’re missing out, man.
Hidden Beach -
Like Trans Fat, But Heated.
Teenage girl, after reading jokey “Ice cream is 100% magma-free” sign at concession stand: What’s magma?
Nokomis beach
Overheard by Trumpy. -
Time To Stop Drinking Out Of Madison Lake.
Teenage Girl: Oh my gosh! Is that a llama in the water? It is! Look! Theres a llama in the water! Oh wait, no, it’s just a dock.
Madison Lake
Overheard by 20/20 vision. -
Or You Don’t Know How To Say It.
Girl: Go over there by the fire, I’m gonna take a picture of your shilute.
Friend: haha My what? My silhouette?
Girl: I know how to say it, I just always forget.
madison lake -
Just To Be Clear.
Teen girl: Jack, did you get very wet on the jet ski?
5 yr old boy: Sorta no. That means sorta… and no.
Madison Lake
Overheard by tubers. -
Cher Called. She Wants Her Song Back.
Girl #1: I just want to find a guy I can connect with.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too.
Girl #1: Next time, I’m going to make sure that he has the same heartbeat rhythm as me.
Girl #2: Wow, that’s cool.
lake calhoun
Overheard by male runner jogging by and lmao! -
Okay, I’ll Be Staying Away From Hidden Beach.
Man in loud voice: Rock Golf! Rock Golf! Who wants to play rock golf!?
Little boy: Mom, why is that man yelling?
Mother: I don’t know but it’s very rude, isn’t it?
Little boy: Yea. Mommy, is he mean?
Mother: Well, it’s very mean of him to be so loud.
Little boy: Mommy, why is he mean?
Mother: Well, his mommy obviously didn’t love him like I love you.
Hidden Beach
Overheard by oh, that makes sense. -
Who Would See That Coming?
Thug #1: (mock fighting) I’d all hit you upside the head with a hammer!
Thug #2: Hey man, my homegirl got murdered with a hammer!
Lake Calhoun
Overheard by hoping thugs don’t read this. -
Crazy People Need Love, Too.
Mother of two in an urgent voice who must have no heart and obviously knows nothing about this guy: Kids, see that man in the striped shorts, don’t talk to him. You don’t even have to be polite to him. NEVER be polite to crazy people.
Hidden beach
Overheard by Don’t listen kids!!! Your mother is the crazy one! -
That’s Not Stranded, That’s Home.
Dumb girl: I saw this stranded turtle on the way in, I kinda wanna go back and save it.
Friend: Why, was it on its back or something?
Dumb girl: No, it was in the WOODS.
Hidden Beach
Overheard by not the woods!!!
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