Posts Tagged ‘parties’
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Your Hard Drive Is Only So Big
Senior Boy: I HAVE NO CAPACITY FOR PORN!
Wayzata High School Senior Party
Overheard by I doubt that… -
Sounds Good So Far
Drunk girl at a party: I want to be a lawyer because I think three people should be able to marry each other!
A party on the U campus
Overheard by I want to shoot you. -
What A Way To Go!
Abnormally skinny girl: I feel fat.
Normal girl: Shut up before I smother you with my muffin top.Party in Seward
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Clearly
Man: Did you throw away those Little Smokies?
Pregnant Woman #1: There was only one weenie left.
Pregnant Woman #2: (with a twinkle in her eye) That’s all you need.
Superbowl Party – Maple Grove
Overheard by your mom. -
We Were Starting To Make Some Progress, Too…
Trendy, white, barely 20 something adding to conversation on pregnancy and adoption after too many glasses of wine: Yeah, you know I’ve always wanted to adopt a black baby so that I can dress him up in Adidas track suits!
Other 20 something white woman: Well, I want to adopt a black baby, too, but I had not considered the fashion possibilities.
Downtown St.Paul
Overheard by Glad I’m not a black baby up for adoption. -
You Have To Try Harder To Be Cool
Middle-Aged Neighbor #1: I love Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Middle-Aged Neighbor #2: Yeah, great music. (Long Pause) It’s too bad he died in that plane crash.
Middle-Aged Neighbor #1: You mean that they died in a plane crash. it was a band, not a single person.
Middle-Aged Neighbor #2: You’re shittin’ me?
Lakeville neighborhood block party -
Now It’s A Party
Female party goer: Damn, there’s, like, all walks of life at this party.
Male party goer #1: I can honestly say this looks, feels and smells like controlled danger.
Male party goer #2: Well, I did see a gang upstairs.
keg house party/5th ave and 82nd Bloomington,Mn. -
Don’t Worry, They Can Find Relief In Topical Creams
Used to be skinny, senior girl: Ugh, I just hate all these freshmen who think they have such hot vaginas.
Carleton Party
Overheard by hot freshman. -
Don’t You Just Hate That?
Female in bathroom at New Years party after a lot of noise and breaking glass: Ok, that happened for two reasons. One: there are too many people in the bathroom. And two: having only two bamboo shoots in a glass vase is just not feng shui.
Grand & 29th
Overheard by Why wasn’t I invited? -
Hey, Where Did All The Champagne Go?
Girl walking into living room, ball is being dropped; clock says 11:59:22: What? There’s 11 more minutes left?!
cottage grove new year’s party
Overheard by so glad the public school system worked for me. -
I’d Love To Read Some Of Your Poetry
High School Guy: I have so much pent-up emotion!
18th Birthday Party in Burnsville
Overheard by Just Let it Out, Man. -
Or Being From Iowa?
Drunk guy: I was in a treatment facility once.
Not drunk guy: Should you be drinking now?
Drunk guy: Oh, booze wasn’t my problem. I’m from Iowa.
Not drunk guy: Meth, then?
Drunk guy: How’d you know?
uptown house party
Overheard by just a hunch. -
You Did Well, Mom.
Woman talking about her daughter to a friend: I liked it better when she thought she was a lesbian. Now that she thinks she’s straight, I have to worry about her fucking up her life. What if she gets pregnant? I guess the good thing is, I’ll get me some grandkids. And I’m going to be the best fucking grandma anyone could have!
birthday party
Overheard by pass me a tofurkey burger… -
And This Was Just After Noon.
Extremely drunk mohawk clad guy to uninterested, sober friend who’s not listening: Hey! What are you doing over there? Hey! Hey you f**king buttpirate! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you a buttpirate.
Sober uninterested friend: Huh?
Nordeast bbq
Overheard by Cut that guy off. -
Does He Work At Panera?
Man #1: So, what do you guys do about keeping the restaurant clean?
Man #2: Uh… we got a mop.
Man #1: No, like what policies and procedures do you adhere to, to maintain Department of Health standards?
Man #2: You mean like rubbing alcohol and shit?
Orange house
Overheard by Enrico Suave. -
But Otherwise It’s Delicious!
Man: So, how do you like the Boca burger?
Woman: Well, it’s okay. Except for the texture…and the taste…
BBQ -
Excessive Bleeding From Where?
Teenage boy talking to friend: What are the signs of cancer?
Girl: I don’t know, drowsiness, excessive bleeding or being tired all the time.
Boy: I’m tired right NOW!
Girl: Well, it is 2 am.
Party in St. Paul
Overheard by girls are so much smarter than boys. -
Some Girls Aren’t Picky.
College Guy: No wonder Matt can’t get a date- his best line is ‘Do you want a badly damaged brat?’
BBQ in the Suburbs -
A Delicious Source Of Fiber!
Grandmother: This salad is just wonderful.
Mid-twenty-something woman: Yes, but it has raisins in it. I don’t eat raisins.
Grandmother: What? Why?
Mid-twenty-something woman: I’ve always felt bad for them. They once were so full of life and then the sun sucked their souls out and left… this.
Father’s Day BBQ – Mtka.
Overheard by SisterSayWhat? -
She Would If She Could.
Girl #1: What’s up with Katie?
Girl #2: She’s an emu. Emus cut themselves.
Golden Valley graduation party
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