Target meat guy knowingly to another Target guy: I wanna… MASH your potatoes.

Plymouth Target
Overheard by If that’s not an euphemism, I don’t know what is.

Middle-aged balding man to friend as fireworks begin: Dude, I just love the plate tectonics of these fireworks.
Friend: You mean pyrotechnics?? Are you stupid?

Music in Plymouth
Overheard by powerful fireworks, indeed.

Too-loud teenager: Someday, I would just like to be kidnapped.

Perkins in Plymouth
Overheard by dream big.

Blonde woman: So he said he had cancer, and I asked what kind of cancer he had. He said, “A really bad one.” I thought for a second and said, “Is that a type?”
(Blank stares from her tablemates)

Sushi shop in Plymouth
Overheard by Yeah, and Big is a size at McDonalds.

Middle Aged Woman: I mean, the boy probably won’t finish his Easter candy before he graduates and moves out!

Plymouth Starbucks

Male Coworker #1: Dude, what about the HR director?
Male Coworker #2: Ohhh, man. She’s so hot AND she’s in HR! So, you know she’s into sexual harrassment. She deals with it all the time!
Male Coworker #1: Did you really just say that?

Plymouth Green Mill Happy Hour
Overheard by Well, if she deals with it everyday…

Obnoxious girl: Oh my gosh, my mom totally tries to be so cool. (giggle) Like this morning she had money and she was like, here take this money, it’s ten more dollars than you have now.
Teacher: Oh stop! Your mom is adorable!  My kids think I try too hard, but I think I’m a ninny.
Obnoxious girl: Whatever! My mom was trying to give me money and I was like, I don’t understand you!
Teacher: (laughs) Who’s the ninny now, Jane?!
Obnoxious girl: (laugh) I don’t know, it’s too early for math.

Plymouth Lunds
Overheard by wait, what?

Punky suburban girl: (Pouring splenda into her coffee) I don’t care. Let it give me cancer and kill me!
Friends: (Laugh)
Punky suburban girl: (frowning) I’ll probably end up killing myself anyway.
Friends: (Stop laughing)

Perkins in Plymouth

Post Office Worker #1: Oh! Here’s the new roll of stamps we just got in yesterday. Look at that, there are four designs on each roll!
Post Office Worker #2 (sarcastically): Well, isn’t that the coolest thing. I just get so excited over stamps. Stamps are the greatest!
Post Office Worker #1: I know, I love them!

Plymouth Post Office
Overheard by a fellow stamp lover.

Old lady #1: [sips her hot chinese tea] This is really good tea!
Old lady #2: Well, it is called the ‘tea house’.
Old lady #1: Oh, yeah.

tea house (plymouth)
Overheard by doodledee.

Man whose male dog is being humped by another male dog: Hey! Knock that off! What?! What kind of dog park IS this?! *pause* I thought I was in Uptown for a second.

Egan Dog Park in Plymouth
Overheard by I think his dog liked it.

Pseudo Political Frat Boy#1: Where is she? Is she coming?
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#2: No. She went to play beer pong.
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#1: She went to play beer pong instead of Caucusing?
Pseudo Political Frat Boy#2: Yup. Beer pong is the American Way, much more than Caucusing.

Plymouth Congregational Caucus
Overheard by Beer pongless line waiter.